Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Woman wonders, ‘Will I be fat in heaven?’
Lark News ^ | B. Jokin

Posted on 11/27/2012 9:00:34 AM PST by Gamecock

BROKEN ARROW, Okla. — Kerrie Jameson is confident she is going to heaven. What scares her is the possibility that she’ll show up 30 pounds overweight and stay that way forever.

“I work a desk job, and my physique reflects that,” says Jameson, 28, who used to work out daily but has fallen into bad eating habits. “I have this horrible image of myself standing before the throne looking like a lumpy sack of flour. Everyone else will be worshiping, and I’ll be slinking off to a corner to eat chocolate and console myself.”

The idea of being fat in heaven first occurred to her during a sermon on Jesus’ nail-scarred hands and feet. Jameson realized that some earthly attributes, including physical characteristics, follow us to the next life.

“Jesus still has wounds on his body,” Jameson says. “Doesn’t that tell us something? What if I die before I get my weight down? Will I be stuck like this always? Will I have to diet in heaven?”

Concerned, she brought it up at a recent women’s retreat, sparking a vigorous discussion during the afternoon meeting. Jameson said she dreaded the prospect of “wearing a plus-size robe for eternity” and was searching for any biblical evidence that people in heaven will have bodies that “represent their perfect selves.”

Her secret hope, applauded by many of the women, was that when she walks through the pearly gates the weight will “disappear” to be remembered no more.

“If overeating is a sin, and the effects of sin are completely wiped away in heaven, then people with weight issues should be in the clear,” she said.

Brianna Worthington, 27, a mom who is in marathon shape, openly disagreed.

“I haven’t worked this hard on my body only to have it taken away once I die,” she said to scattered boos. “Don’t our works follow us? Don’t we get rewarded for what we’ve done down here? Do I get nothing for keeping my temple in shape?”

She said it felt “unfair” that every saint would look instantly perfect in heaven, but she also didn’t want heaven to look like “every mall in the U.S. where half the people are so big they have a hard time moving around.”

Jenny, a substantially overweight church member who says she carries around enough extra pounds “to form another small human,” said she believed people in heaven will look almost exactly like they do here — and that “weight diversity” makes life interesting. She cited instances from the Bible where people appeared in their post-death forms and were still recognizable: the prophet Samuel, Moses, Elijah and, of course, Jesus himself.

“Some people are built fat and happy, and that makes the world fun,” said the longtime church organist. “I don’t want a heaven where everyone looks like a cover model.”

She said she looks forward to “zooming around heaven in a big, impressive body.”

Other women expressed concern about physical attributes such as tattoos and breast implants. There was a rough consensus that foreign substances like ink and silicone probably would not make the translation, but the verdict was out on plastic surgery and obesity.

Jameson found little comfort in the discussion and is starting a “salad and cucumbers” diet upon returning home. She prays God will give her enough time to hit her weight goal before exiting this life.

“Everything right now is about making sure I reach my preferred dress size in case I die suddenly,” she says. “I’m driving a lot more carefully now.” •


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; parody
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-111 next last
To: presently no screen name

No.......they actually did notrecognize Him. See also the story of Mary Magdalene right after the resurrection in John 20.


61 posted on 11/27/2012 11:18:02 AM PST by esquirette ("Our hearts are restless until they find rest in Thee." ~ Augustine)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: treetopsandroofs
Does the Bible tell us that Adam and Eve were vegetarians?

I don't know if the Bible tells us but it tells me and millions of other Bible readers what their diet was supposed to be. It's in Genesis. I could look it up for you but I'm not sure that would do any good.

62 posted on 11/27/2012 11:18:26 AM PST by BipolarBob (Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: presently no screen name

“I can’t be bothered with those who are so deliberately misled.”

Pride is earthly thinking as well. Dismissing your brothers and sisters in Christ so off-handedly suggests you need to delve onto your bible more deeply.


63 posted on 11/27/2012 11:22:27 AM PST by Owl558 ("Those who remember George Satayana are doomed to repeat him")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Wiser now

Our bodies will be much, much more better and perfect than what we can ever imagine.


64 posted on 11/27/2012 11:39:47 AM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: BipolarBob

Not sure what that means, but I know about clean and unclean ANIMALS. You claimed there wouldn’t be any death in heaven. I brought up a reference to meat being “created” in a lab and asked “Does the Bible tell us that Adam and Eve were vegetarians?”

DOES IT?

I smell an arrogant, holier-than-thou response in your “I could look it up for you but I’m not sure that would do any good” which isn’t what I was looking for.

If you want to avoid the question, fine, but I don’t need one of those belittling “I’m not sure that would do {you} any good” responses.


65 posted on 11/27/2012 11:42:56 AM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: Biggirl; right way right

“Our bodies will be much, much more better and perfect than what we can ever imagine.”

Good news for Mr. right way right.


66 posted on 11/27/2012 11:44:25 AM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 64 | View Replies]

To: Venturer

At the end of the age, we will get “resurected bodies” when the King of Kings comes back.

In Heaven, until that time, our souls go back home.


67 posted on 11/27/2012 11:45:19 AM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Owl558; BipolarBob

“Pride is earthly thinking as well. Dismissing your brothers and sisters in Christ so off-handedly suggests you need to delve onto your bible more deeply.”

Agreed.


68 posted on 11/27/2012 11:47:56 AM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: ItsOurTimeNow

The closet acount of what Heaven is like is the book of that little boy’s account called “Heaven is for Real”, both the adults and children’s version. But even there we will never truly know until we are there, giving praise to God.


69 posted on 11/27/2012 11:56:19 AM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: central_va
If a baby dies in child birth does it spend eternity in heaven a tiny thing unable to do anything for itself?

??? Need more data to respond. How would you consider a baby, "helpless" in Heaven? That flies in the face of us (our souls) donning new and perfect bodies. Can any man know such things? We have to trust that what God has in store will not be an eternal impediment.

Was this a reference to my not believing in Purgatory? If so, who knows? I was raised Catholic and have heard all sorts of "reasoning" behind why there is supposed to be a Purgatory. Catholics seem to believe that, if a person did not accept Christ as the Savior, they get a second chance to be purged of their sins, but I'm not aware of any Biblical references other than some folks interpretations to indicate a second chance. The only ones that seem to carry any water are those of the Old Testament when nobody could really be worthy because of the human inability to abide by ALL parts of ALL the Commandments that humans asked for. Even David, who sinned greatly against Uriah, was said to have been purified by God so he died sinless. The Prophet Jeremiah told us of the coming New Covenant where God would forgive our wickedness and recognize our sins no more. If this is the case, what purpose would a temporary place of cleansing serve? I also do not understand why folks would pray to the saints and the Virgin Mary for intercession - why pray to dead mortals when we have been given a direct path via Christ's relationship on a human level?

Please understand that I have my beliefs because I was saved when I first really heard and understood the love of Jesus in a non-denominational church which uses the Bible as the Word and doesn't get into all the "intricacies" of religion, which tends to cause more confusion than clarification. I don't deny the positive role religion has played, but do not believe that religion is the answer - it's a way for men to become more important/integral to what God has in store for us. I don't have that much faith in men. I don't believe we need priests or other "experts" to understand the love and sacrifice that opened the gates of Heaven to all who would only repent of their sins and accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Else, why did Christ have to die? I know I don't know it all and welcome any discourse that may clarify your own beliefs so I have new data to work through.

70 posted on 11/27/2012 11:59:48 AM PST by trebb (Allies no longer trust us. Enemies no longer fear us.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 60 | View Replies]

To: BipolarBob

Just for grins, I’ll talk down to you, since you only talked down to me and made no attempt to meaningfully answer my question.....

It appears that “commentaries” set the narrative straight, but I’m not satisfied with “God then compromised the vegetarian ideal” as stated by a COMMENTARY by “Dex”, “A STAFF REPORT FROM THE STRAIGHT DOPE SCIENCE ADVISORY BOARD”

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2147/were-adam-and-eve-vegetarians

No further response by you is needed or expected.


71 posted on 11/27/2012 12:01:58 PM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 62 | View Replies]

To: central_va

I think we will be the age of 33, the same age when Jesus suffered, died, and rose from the dead.


72 posted on 11/27/2012 12:01:58 PM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 60 | View Replies]

To: wideminded; Alex Murphy
How many church-going women do you think you would have to ask before you found one who really was concerned about this?

Read the thread. Tons of people seen to be giving it some serious thought!

73 posted on 11/27/2012 12:09:00 PM PST by Gamecock
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 54 | View Replies]

To: Persevero

“There will be a resurrection. That involves the raising of our bodies, restored.”

“Restored” — as in virgo intacta, and will men need to be circumcised, or AGAIN?!


74 posted on 11/27/2012 12:33:11 PM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies]

To: right way right

What would be the point? ... its not as though you would ever get to use it in heaven.


75 posted on 11/27/2012 12:40:43 PM PST by kokoda
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 56 | View Replies]

To: kokoda

“What would be the point? ... its not as though you would ever get to use it in heaven.”

Do you have a citation to support that?


76 posted on 11/27/2012 12:43:00 PM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 75 | View Replies]

To: Gamecock; wideminded
Read the thread. Tons of people seen to be giving it some serious thought!

What, are you saying that the FReepers who gave it serious thought are all grossly obese, Gamecock? Maybe some thin people have worried about it as well :)

"The ads, set to run in major newspapers beginning Thursday, show smiling, overweight Caucasian families walking into Southern Baptist churches. The SBC hopes to attract more smiling, overweight Caucasian families."
-- from the thread Southern Baptists launch pre-emptive strikes against Assemblies of God
Related thread:
Weighty matter: Is religion making us fat?
77 posted on 11/27/2012 12:58:47 PM PST by Alex Murphy ("If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all" - Isaiah 7:9)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 73 | View Replies]

To: treetopsandroofs
Do you have a citation to support that?

Mark 12:25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.

Do you have a King James Bible? Ever pick it up and read it?

78 posted on 11/27/2012 1:13:43 PM PST by BipolarBob (Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 76 | View Replies]

To: BipolarBob

LOL!

In your haste to be self-righteous and pious, you didn’t support your statement that right way right wouldn’t get to use it.

Angels per scripture DO get to use it and were/are forbidden to use it on “daughters of man”.

Who do you think Angels ARE permitted to use it on/in?


79 posted on 11/27/2012 1:21:01 PM PST by treetopsandroofs (Had FDR been GOP, there would have been no World Wars, just "The Great War" and "Roosevelt's Wars".)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 78 | View Replies]

To: treetopsandroofs

““Restored” — as in virgo intacta, and will men need to be circumcised, or AGAIN?!”

I am not privy to these details. :) We shall be raised, incorruptible, in a glorified body as Jesus was. I don’t assume we will look just like Him, but somehow anyway, perfected.

1st Cor 2:9

“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”


80 posted on 11/27/2012 1:23:06 PM PST by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 74 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-111 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson