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You Might Just Be A Calvinist If….
Disciple Man ^ | February 12, 2011

Posted on 06/13/2011 6:54:18 PM PDT by Gamecock

You Might Just Be A Calvinist If….

If you have a Martin Luther Jell-O mold… you just might be a Calvinist.

If your DVR has over 25 episodes of Wretched With Todd Friel recorded on it… you just might be a Calvinist.

If your child’s first word was “Westminster”… you just might be a Calvinist.

If your 4 year old can explain what the word “propitiation” means… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you send your mother tulips on Mother’s Day… you might be a Calvinist.

If your passion for evangelism blows away your Arminian friends… you might just be a (true) Calvinist.

If you hate rap music BUT you listen to Lecrea, The Cross Movement, Flame or D.A. T.R.U.T.H. because of the lyrics and theology… you might be a Calvinist.

If quotes from Pink, Spurgeon, Luther, Piper, and McArthur make up 90% of your Facebook statuses…you might be a Calvinist.

If you still remember the 8 speakers in order from the recent T4G conference… you might be a Calvinist.

If you cringe every time you hear someone proclaim “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life! Choose Jesus!”… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve ever wanted to attend a Benny Hinn crusade just so you could stand up and shout “Ichabod!!”… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you purposefully read a book to be convicted… you might just be a Calvinist.

If a free Bible or book has ever arrived in the mail to you from John McArthur… you might be a Calvinist.

If you have to order theological books online because no one at the Christian bookstore has ever heard of them… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you have ever purchased 100 or more copies of the same John Piper book to hand out to random people you meet …you just might be a Calvinist.

If you ever have found yourself thinking “My pastor’s sermon was particularly Spurgeonesque this morning”… you just might be a Calvinist.

If you read “The Purpose Driven Life” just to see how bad the book really is… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you go to your bookshelf in search of a particular John MacArthur book only to discover that your 14 year old son is reading it up in his bedroom… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you purchased an MP3 player with the sole purpose of downloading sermons… you might be a Calvinist.

If you were shocked to just discover that some people download MP3 files that are not sermons… you might be a Calvinist.

If you have adjusted the default passage setting at www.biblegateway.org from “NIV” to “ESV” … you might be a Calvinist.

If while visiting friends or family’s homes you hid their copy of “The Shack” (for their own good)… you might just be a Calvinist.

If your preacher says to turn to Obadiah and you do not use the index… you might be a Calvinist.

If your teenagers are excited that your church’s youth group is learning Biblical theology and being spiritually challenged instead of playing stupid games and eating pizza…. you might just be a Calvinist.

If you think a 50-minute sermon is too short… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve ever heard a wave of groans sweep through Sunday School when you refer to Romans 9… you might be a Calvinist.

If you find yourself talking to the Lord Jesus more than to your family… you might be a Calvinist.

If you get irritated when you visit a Christian bookstore and ask where they keep the books on deeper theology and they point you to the Joel Osteen section… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you find yourself wanting to read your Bible instead of watching television… you might be a Calvinist.

If quotes from Pink, Spurgeon, Luther, Piper, and McArthur pop into your head at random times during the day …you might be a Calvinist.

If you can barely contain your laughter when someone refers to Joyce Meyer as a “minister”… you might just be a Calvinist.

If you are confused when someone uses the term “my Bible” as if they only have one…you might be a Calvinist.

If your Bibles must be replaced in less than a year due to pages separating from the spine…you might be a Calvinist.

If you smile, nod and hold your tongue with your teeth after a lively church service when someone says, “God showed up today”… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve ever shouted “YES!” when the pastor says to turn to 1st Thessalonians…you might be a Calvinist.

If you see 6:37 on a digital clock and think of the Lord Jesus’ words in John… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve muted a Thanksgiving football game because it’s interfering with your family discussion of Ephesians 1… you might be a Calvinist.

If you have bookmarked three or more preachers’ scripture index webpages… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve ever been banned from a Sunday School class for quoting scripture… you might be a Calvinist.

If you have ever purposefully sung a different word in a hymn to conform to scripture… you might be a Calvinist.

If your kids own more Bibles than televisions… you might be a Calvinist.

If your children never ask you “Where are we going?” on Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night… you might be a Calvinist.

If you’ve ever read parts of “The Bondage of the Will” to children under ten and prayed that it would change their lives… you might be a Calvinist.

If your children argue and you require them to listen to a Piper Sermon as punishment… you might be a Calvinist.

If you visit spurgeon.org, desiringgod.org, and gty.org, more than once a day, yep… you guessed it… YOU, my dear friend, might just be a Calvinist!!

SOLI DEO GLORIA!


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS: calvinst; grpl
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To: Gamecock

If you argue for the hateful god...


41 posted on 06/13/2011 8:39:27 PM PDT by D-fendr (Deus non alligatur sacramentis sed nos alligamur.)
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To: Gamecock

“If your 4 year old can explain what the word “propitiation” means… you might just be a Calvinist.”

So many of those apply to me, but that one made me laugh. After church yesterday I tried to explain “propitiation” and “substitution” and “mediator” to my five-year-old daughter. I was proud when my eight-year-old chimed in and told her little sister that Jesus Christ is our “great high priest.” Apparently she listened to our sermon more than I realized.


42 posted on 06/13/2011 8:44:57 PM PDT by .45 Long Colt
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To: Gamecock

““For God so loved THE WORLD” does not say For God so loved everyone in the world, now does it?”

In the broader context of John, the “World” is the unsaved, darkened masses - those who are not God’s people. That’s who God loved... the “World” that hated Him and didn’t recognize him. To artificially break the “World” as John uses it, into two camps, the loved and the unloved, is to miss the entire shocking point.

+++++++++++++++++

“And those who do will be saved. Those who don’t, well, we know how that will turn out.”

No argument from me.

++++++++++++++++

“All men or all men whom He chooses?”

It’s hard to miss this: “ALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE”

+++++++++++++++++

“If He want all men to be saved, why dis he harden the heart of Pharaoh? “

According to Romans 1, God hardens or “give over” those who have gone so far in sin that they are set in their course. They have had their chance. Their fate, by their own choice, has been sealed in this world. The are, “dead men walking”. God hardens them in their sin to us them as an example to others of His judgment on wickedness.

Show me in the Bible where God turns a righteous man to sin and hardens his heart! And why shouldn’t God do something like that - to show the extent of His sovereignty!?!? Guess what... it isn’t there.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“If you hold that he wants all to be saved and yet he hardens hearts and creates some to be vessels of wrath, well, you have fractured Scripture. “

Following Paul’s reasoning in Romans, here’s a salient question for you... can a goat become a sheep?

If they can then your theology in fractured.


43 posted on 06/13/2011 8:45:08 PM PDT by PetroniusMaximus
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

I believe you are correct.

You can “love” everyone in the sense you “love all people”, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love some people more because they are closer to you, etc.


44 posted on 06/13/2011 8:46:21 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: Gamecock

“Many are called but few are chosen.”


45 posted on 06/13/2011 8:48:19 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Salvation

That’s the one that so many forget to keep in mind.


46 posted on 06/13/2011 9:08:22 PM PDT by PieterCasparzen (Conservative Christian Capitalists - I encourage you to visit my Profile)
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To: Gamecock

Thanks, sent to the whole session :>)


47 posted on 06/13/2011 9:41:08 PM PDT by irishtenor (Everything in moderation, however, too much whiskey is just enough... Mark Twain)
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To: PetroniusMaximus

According to Romans 1, God hardens or “give over” those who have gone so far in sin that they are set in their course. They have had their chance. Their fate, by their own choice, has been sealed in this world. The are, “dead men walking”. God hardens them in their sin to us them as an example to others of His judgment on wickedness.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We are only called to preach His Word...but God alone chooses whom He will save. I know this makes you angry but you have to understand that God runs the show...not us. I could not even WANT to know Him in and of myself, He had to supply that to. The first scripture God revealed to me when I was saved in 1985 was:

John 15:16
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.

It took me another 20 years to understand this.
Knowing and accepting that God alone is in control is the hardest and the most comforting truth He has taught me thus far. Our sin nature wants so much to believe that somehow we have some part in our salvation, but alas, we do not...lest any man should boast.


48 posted on 06/13/2011 9:53:34 PM PDT by astratt7 (obama,muslim,politics)
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To: Gamecock; PetroniusMaximus
Malachi 1:2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord. But you say, “How have you loved us?” “Is not Esau Jacob's brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob 3 but Esau I have hated. I have laid waste his hill country and left his HERITAGE to jackals of the desert.”

Notice the word HERITAGE means past and what it caused:

Malachi 1:2 was written long after Jacob and Esau lived on earth. This is hundreds of years later. I think it means after the fact of natural life. They are naturally died. After death God is talking about their judgement. Esau sounds like he is in hell. So are people in hell still loved? No! I believe if you only are alive and can enjoy life before you die no matter your character GOD still loves you to repent.

Remember the verse He allows the rain or sunshine on the good or the bad which shows his love. I believe this Malachi verse is an after the fact verse. Notice when the apostle JOHN writes God is love he is living in the natural world not the supernatural yet. Like two zones for the eternal soul. The Apostle John is addressing people on earth only "zone". The people who died and went to hell reject his love thus hate is hell? It's like a place because they reject God's love of repentence. Just looking at it from this angle.

49 posted on 06/13/2011 9:56:31 PM PDT by johngrace (God so loved the world so he gave his only son! Praise Jesus and Hail Mary!)
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To: PetroniusMaximus

“Show me in the Bible where God turns a righteous man to sin and hardens his heart! And why shouldn’t God do something like that - to show the extent of His sovereignty!?!? Guess what... it isn’t there.”

I’d really like to meet some of these righteous people you speak of.

Friend, I used to believe just as you believe. But then God taught me the glorious truth of His grace and it literally changed my life.

I may be wrong, but I bet your understanding of Calvinism is little more than a caricature. Despite a sound theological education from a top institution, for many years I argued against a system I did not understand. I relied on what I had been taught and my own logic and understanding. I shudder when I think of it because it was a flippant and dangerous approach to a matter of such eternal consequence.

I would point you to Romans 3:10-18.

10As it is written, There is NONE righteous, no, not one:

11There is NONE that understandeth, there is NONE that seeketh after God.

12They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is NONE that doeth good, NO, NOT ONE.

13Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips:

14Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness:

15Their feet are swift to shed blood:

16Destruction and misery are in their ways:

17And the way of peace have they not known:

18There is no fear of God before their eyes.

That’s the Apostle Paul’s Divinely-inspired description of the spiritual state of mankind. We’re dead in trespasses and sin. Unregenerate men do not seek after God and they certainly are not righteous. The Bible says even our righteousness, our very best, is as filthy rags in the eyes of the Lord. If God didn’t chose some, no one would be saved and the glory of His grace would never be demonstrated.

God will never harden a righteous man because that would go against His character. Only those born again are truly righteous. Once you are His, He has promised you are His forever. You will persevere in the faith. Christ said: “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.” (John 6:37)

It’s important to understand that believers aren’t righteous on their own accord. There is no amount of work they can do to attain any measure of righteousness, let alone the righteousness required by God. A believer, a true child of God, has Christ’s perfect righteousness imputed to him. Thought the believer is a vile guilty sinner, he will stand in the court of heaven innocent and blameless because he is clothed in the Master’s perfect robes of righteousness.

A final point about the hardening of hearts. As Jeremiah said, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

I don’t believe God takes a righteous heart that might one day come to Him and turn it to stone. All He has to do is remove His restraining grace, His hedge of protection, and allow what’s already in that deceitful wicked heart to manifest.


50 posted on 06/13/2011 10:30:37 PM PDT by .45 Long Colt
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To: .45 Long Colt

“I’d really like to meet some of these righteous people you speak of.”

“In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah,[a] of the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. 6And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.”

+++++++++++++++

“I may be wrong, but I bet your understanding of Calvinism is little more than a caricature. Despite a sound theological education from a top institution, for many years I argued against a system I did not understand.”

You are wrong. I am well versed in Reformed theology. Went to a solid PCUSA church for years. It heard from the pulpit that made me realize Reformed theology is full of holes.

+++++++++++++++

“I relied on what I had been taught and my own logic and understanding. I shudder when I think of it because it was a flippant and dangerous approach to a matter of such eternal consequence.”

What’s there to be afraid of??? What’s the danger???

You will only experience what was predestined for you.

See, you guys don’t really believe this stuff either!


51 posted on 06/13/2011 10:39:56 PM PDT by PetroniusMaximus
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To: PetroniusMaximus

That passage does not teach Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous on their own strength. You’ll not find a passage that teaches that in the entire Book.

Also, of course I believe it. The danger was believing lies and living in accordance with lies. I believe in Divine Sovereignty, but I also believe in human responsibility. Calvinism is not rank fatalism.


52 posted on 06/13/2011 11:07:49 PM PDT by .45 Long Colt
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To: .45 Long Colt
I believe in Divine Sovereignty, but I also believe in human responsibility. Calvinism is not rank fatalism.

How can humans be responsible for their choices without free will? How is Calvinism not completely deterministic.

53 posted on 06/13/2011 11:58:19 PM PDT by D-fendr (Deus non alligatur sacramentis sed nos alligamur.)
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To: Gamecock
If you’ve ever wanted to attend a Benny Hinn crusade just so you could stand up and shout “Ichabod!!”… you might just be a Calvinist.

Goodness, that describes a lot of folks :-P

54 posted on 06/14/2011 3:35:12 AM PDT by Cronos ( W Szczebrzeszynie chrząszcz brzmi w trzcinie I Szczebrzeszyn z tego słynie.)
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To: fkabuckeyesrule

I envious. I guess I might be a Calvinist.


55 posted on 06/14/2011 4:29:13 AM PDT by Gamecock (It's not eat drink and be merry because tommow we die, but rather because yesterday we were dead.)
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To: PetroniusMaximus

***It’s hard to miss this: “ALL PEOPLE EVERYWHERE”***

All people, not all persons. If Jesus dies for all persons he failed miserably.


56 posted on 06/14/2011 4:33:39 AM PDT by Gamecock (It's not eat drink and be merry because tommow we die, but rather because yesterday we were dead.)
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To: Cronos

There are some things many of us can agree on.


57 posted on 06/14/2011 4:34:50 AM PDT by Gamecock (It's not eat drink and be merry because tommow we die, but rather because yesterday we were dead.)
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To: D-fendr
How can humans be responsible for their choices without free will?

Because free will is not neutral. Our "free will" fell in the Garden and we now choose to sin, of our free will. It is not until we have been born again that our free will can choose to come to Christ.

58 posted on 06/14/2011 4:36:59 AM PDT by Gamecock (It's not eat drink and be merry because tommow we die, but rather because yesterday we were dead.)
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To: Gamecock

Unless you are a Universalist.


59 posted on 06/14/2011 5:58:10 AM PDT by P8riot (I carry a gun because I can't carry a cop.....Eagle Scout since Sep 9, 1970)
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To: Gamecock; D-fendr
Because free will is not neutral.

Of course it isn't. If it was, it would be called "Chance".

Our "free will" fell in the Garden and we now choose to sin, of our free will.

No--we now have the ability to choose sin--it's a small, but distinctive difference. Unfortunately, most people choose sin with great enthusiasm. However, it does not preclude our ability to choose not to sin--it just makes it more difficult.

It is not until we have been born again that our free will can choose to come to Christ.

So, we're saved before we choose to come to Christ?

60 posted on 06/14/2011 6:00:18 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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