Posted on 07/24/2018 11:14:28 AM PDT by servo1969
I love women. Not in the social justice warrioresque "We must praise women as strong, capable CEOS and STEM graduates who can do anything men can do, but in heels" way, but in an old-school way. It's easy to respect a mother who watches out for her children, a wife who is loyal to her husband, or a sister who cares for her brother. I love a beautiful woman. I love a sexy woman. I love a woman who gives off that amazing feminine energy. As a man, being around a woman like that is just good for your spirit.
All that being said, this is not about the more wonderful traits of women. To the contrary, it's the kind of warning about women that fathers used to give their sons, but that's frowned upon today. You see, in our society we can hammer home the faults of men until they become stereotypes, but we're not supposed to point out the similarly damaging, but often very different flaws of women that young men need to worry about.
I think lions are extraordinarily beautiful and powerful creatures, but I also know if you make a wrong move around one, you can lose an arm. Women are much the same. They are magnificent but dangerous and since men pursue them, they need to understand what they're getting into.
Men don't like to admit this, but the first thing they think about when it comes to women is beauty. Not only are we drawn to it, but it's a status symbol. When a man has an attractive woman, other men think more of him. In fact, it can become such a powerful draw that some men put beauty first and second -- and whatever comes third doesn't matter. This is a mistake if you plan to be with her beyond a date or three because beauty fades for all of us, but it fades faster and harder for women. Moreover, beauty in and of itself only attracts for so long. As the old saying goes, "No matter how good she looks, someone out there is tired of her sh*t." Point being, make sure you judge a woman on a lot more than beauty alone because the time is going to come when one way or the other, that beauty is going to fade in your eyes.
Men tend to be famously ruthless about relationships a few dates in when women fall for them way too early and the men only care about sex. On the other hand, women tend to be much more ruthless than men when a relationship is ending. This is hard for a lot of men to believe because they can't imagine the sweet, uplifting, nurturing woman they were in a relationship with is taking them to the cleaners in divorce court or using their kids as a bargaining chip after the divorce.
Women tend to put the same kind of emphasis on status that men put on beauty. That doesn't mean it's the end all and be all of everything, but it does mean status is a lot more important to women than it is to men. What that means is that as a man, if you ever stop performing at the level your woman is accustomed to, you may lose her regardless of everything else. Lose your job, get demoted, take a big pay cut, lose your moxie somehow and women are much more likely to walk away than a man would be with a woman in the same situation. That doesn't mean it's a given, but it does mean that going backward in status as a man risks your relationship with a woman.
There are exceptions to every rule, but the most stable woman is as emotional as an unstable guy. Women are more emotional, more hormonal than men. Women are, at best, more tolerant of drama than men and at worst, they seek it out. They will become upset for no good reason, act irrationally, and are more prone to things like anxiety than men. The point of this is not "women are unstable and bad," it's that women are very different in this area and you need to be ready to deal with it. At times there's going to be crying, no matter what you do. At times, your girlfriend / lover / wife is going to become angry at you even though you've done nothing wrong. Wise men learn that there are times to ignore things women say rather than get in a fight because ten minutes later, their mood will improve. To men who aren't used to it, all of this can be freaky, but it can also help keep things fresh and exciting once you learn to navigate it.
If your woman is stronger than you, she may still date you. She may love you. She may even marry you one day. However, on a fundamental level, she will not be able to respect you if you are not strong and competent enough to lead her. Women don't want to be the ones who make all the decisions and wear the pants in the family and if you force her to do that, it will wear on her and she will come to resent you. How will that resentment play out? At best, probably unhappiness and at worst, cheating, divorce or contempt that's so bad that you wish you were divorced. I'm not telling you to be a jerk, but I am telling you that if you are not a stronger person than your woman, you will ultimately be sorry.
You're losing frame, bro.
So she's achieved lifelong happiness that many times, eh?
Or, as Nobel Prize winning physicist Leon Lederman said in the introduction to a physics textbook,
"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's seventh husband. I mean, I know what to do, but how do you make it interesting?"
Ignore Ryan O'Neal
The most important rule is: Never, ever be “vulnerable” and tell her anything that would hurt your feelings later. Because for the rest of your life she will use it like a dagger and stab you repeatedly whenever she is angry. If she calls your a nasty name and it doesn’t bother you, then don’t tell her that.
LOL!
makes no sense.
|
"Products to Make a Bald Head Shine"  "Amazing shine of my bald head # 4" (And, remember, they made fun of Elisha's bald head too, in 2 Kings 2:23.) |
Your entire post is the best of the thread. I hope people will read it several times and heed your wisdom.
“Relationships are more than just two people. They are places, certain times, and all the wonderful things you have shared together. No one else will know those moments better than you two. If something should happen to break you up, you’ve just erased all the pleasant memories from decades of your life.
All those places where you used to go and share laughs, kisses, and special looks, will become no more than a familiar place missing the true spark that made it what it used to be.”
Thank you. I appreciate your response, and note of agreement.
Benjamin Franklin said the same thing. He said "they're grateful."
I many case older women have shed the high school girl crud.
I didn't date much in high school because of the stupid high school games and when I joined the Air Force at 18 years old I refused to date the locals because they still had that attitude. I also refused to date a civilian girl even a year younger than me because she would still be in high school while I was on ICBM launch crew fighting the Cold War. Two different levels with no understanding in between.
I actually went for girls that were a bit older than me and the ones that I was really attracted to were also in the Air Force and understood the commitment.
Funny, good replies and some good builds. The original 5 truths are pretty much spot on correct. I’ll weigh in because I have time to waste and a mouth to run, so-to-speak:
1. Beauty fades
a. Dang sure does. Take a good look at the girls mother on the surface and what is inside her. Take time to get to know her if you can. If you don’t like what you see, move on because you are more than likely looking at your wife in 20 to 25 years. If you can’t get to know the mother, move on as well. Moving on can be very hard to do.
b. See if you can manage to find love instead of lust. College is a bad place to find love. For most young people the only thing in common is deadlines and pressure and the social scene. It is an artificial life. Sadly it is also the last broad based selection of people you will find. Try to get a job, figure out a few more things.
c. Do not marry out of loneliness. It is as bad as marrying for lust. If you can’t find a good mate and are still lonely get a pet from an animal shelter and you’ll both be appreciated.
d. Better to marry than to burn but second degree burns will not hurt you. [1 Cor 7:9] Wait, you’ll get over the burning.
e. A Virtuous Woman? Proverbs 31:10-31... Good luck
f. A husbands duties? 1 Peter 3:7 Very big shoes to fill that require humility, extreme wisdom and the patience of Job.
g. If you find a friend and companion you will find beauty every day.
h. Look for someone with your same energy and enthusiasm. You don’t want to be pushed or have to pull someone along. They will be like a wet blanket over your life.
i. They claim men age like wine. Your own looks will fade. Even wine turns to vinegar.
j. If she is pouty, petulant, unreasonable in arguments, peevish, fretful, cross, snappy, grumpy, crabby or otherwise often or unjustifiably disagreeable... move on there will be others that are better suited to you and you to them.
k. From the time you marry a woman sets upon a project to change you while you will just wish she would remain as you married her. They often turn into petty, prudish old women while they are still relatively young. They can also go the other way.
l. If you seek a life like a wonderful story from the movies you should know that they happen but not very often.
m. Visit a nursing home before you get really serious about the beauty or handsome person before you. See what one of you may be like near the end. Is this someone you want to care for and be with then?
2. You may be surprised at the ruthless treatment you get.
a. “...better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.” Proverbs 21:19 and then some and more.
b. Henry Higgins said it well in “My Fair Lady”: “Women are heartless gutter snipes.” They are also sociopaths when angry. They don’t get even, they get ahead and they don’t even have to be right, just justified in their own minds.
c. Someone rightly said that when a man gets really angry he may hurt you, you’ll probably get over that in time. When a woman gets angry she aims to keep you alive but break your heart and destroy your life. She will have absolutely no sense of fair, equitable or ethical. She simply wants to hurt you with all the power she has.
3. Much more status-oriented than men
a. If you don’t believe this try taking their status away. Even the most humble church-going, feigning non-materialism woman wants status of their own or referred.
b. The article says this well enough.
4. Women are not as stable as men.
a. Never will be. They are the weaker vessel but these days they don’t believe that
b. You can be a mess of raging hormones that can push you into marriage. They are a mess or raging hormones for most of their lives. It is mostly like living with the beast from Jekyll and Hyde. I am not even remotely kidding.
c. Deep at heart most women are psychotic in one way or another at various times in their lives.
5. Women may come to hate you for your weakness
a. If they don’t hate you already they will take advantage of every single foible you have ever committed. They will not be able to remember where you just went for vacation last week but they can remember the slightest transgression you made 25 years ago and the longer they know you the more they will remember as a growing catalog of your flaming screw-ups and they will eventually hate you for them. At the slightest provocation and smallest opening they will stab the events into your ribs and vital organs. The gaps of forgiveness and relative tranquility will all disappear into one simmering rage and hatred of all that you do. It is only a matter of time and some take longer than others.
In the past women became economic prisoners of a sort, before they had careers and the ability to support themselves. Men took advantage of that, didn’t do what they were supposed to do. They were lousy. It has gone too far the other way now though. Women don’t need men and treat them the same way.
Great post.
My wife for a long time had to keep reminding me that “You say you’re sorry, but then you don’t change! Just saying sorry over and over again doesn’t cut it!”
One of my favorite videos is the marriage counselor (a Christian) that does seminars and is pretty funny. But - I think he does a good job pointing out the differences between men and women, and how to accept and deal with them.
The REALLY good one is where he talks about Men’s brains vs. Women’s brains. I think that it is pretty accurate.
Mark Gungor:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk
How about when the wyfe decided suddenly to not work for 5 yrs and spends every day on the Internet doing “research” on unknown subjects and was poisoning your food as well?
Sounds like a scene from Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
I find that if you do regular maintenance to keep the engine purring, run them, and keep them lubricated, they'll last for decades. The ones that last become "classics".
Sounds like you made good choices!
An average-looking woman who is willing to make an effort to keep you happy, is worth more than a beautiful woman who is not willing.
Like I said, they are trying for a high-status guy (the "Alpha" males), they understand that a high-status guy has options, and if they don't keep him happy, then some other girl will. After a long while, she might lose hope in getting a commitment from an Alpha, and decide to settle for a guy who might not excite her, but at least has a decent income. Then later rape him in divorce court.
We would all be hard pressed to find a better life philosophy than this!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.