Posted on 01/22/2011 4:43:22 PM PST by neverhome
Breaking: Fox News Hires Keith Olbermann
After careful consideration of his qualifications, Fox News has hired Keith Olbermann.
I’ll take your word for it....
Olberdork posted 15 times?
you got me
New slogan:
Fair and Unbalanced
I almost knocked over my glass of wine when I saw this headline! It was an hour or two before I would even click into the post, it was so depressing. Glad that I did and found out it was an April Fool’s joke! Now I can sleep tonight.
7 million and a pallet of depends was his price.
He poops in his pants and still can’t drive a car,ever since his brain trauma.
In August 1980, he suffered a head injury while “leaping” onto the NYC subway
You had me going for a second
I downed my entire glass of wine waiting for the page to load!
Very good. I really want to see posts 2 - 15. They were probably hysterical in every sense of the word!
Spot on! NautiNurse for the win!
‘.. I had to run and get an aspirin to chew at what I thought was an oncoming heart attack when I read that headline!...’
lol. I had the same reaction...
Olbermann is an actor, in his next role he’ll play a conservative host$$$$$.
LOL spam?.....;-D
Or passed out face-down on the “enter” key...;D
The hair dye is seeping into his brain.
10 Int. LISTER'S quarters.
LISTER is blowing a large bubble with bubble gum. Once he's satisfied, he holds up a spanner and ruler to measure it, then pulls the gum out his mouth with the bubble intact and still attached.
LISTER: Ten and three-quarter centimeters! Plus five for not breaking and that is a big, big score! The Brown's are going to have to do something quite sensational with their last bubble. Quite clearly. (Puts new gum in his mouth.)
HOLLY: Busy, Dave?
LISTER spits his gum across the room in surprise.
LISTER: Well, yeah, I am, actually! HOLLY: Oh. Then you won't want to know about the two super-lightspeed fighters that are tracking us.
LISTER: What?! .
HOLLY: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate. .
LISTER: No, Holly. Hol. Come on. .
HOLLY: They're from Earth. .
LISTER: That's three million years away. .
HOLLY: They're from the NorWEB Federation. .
LISTER: What's that? .
HOLLY: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave. .
LISTER: Me? Why? What for? .
HOLLY: For your crimes against humanity. .
LISTER: You what?! .
HOLLY: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen. .
LISTER: Did I? .
HOLLY: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years? .
LISTER: Yeah, they go mouldy. .
HOLLY: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the. world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB. .
LISTER: Why NorWEB? .
HOLLY: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds. .
LISTER: A hundred and eighty billion pounds?!! You're kidding! .
HOLLY: (Wearing a Grouch-Marx glasses-nose-and-moustache) April Fool. .
LISTER: But it's not April! .
HOLLY: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat. .
LISTER: So you just made it all up, then? .
HOLLY: Yeah. Bit of excitement for a while, wasn't it? You can't beat a good wheeze. Huhu! .
He’s better at making messes than at cleaning them up.
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