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Groaner Puns (Your favorite?)

Posted on 08/22/2007 2:23:11 PM PDT by VA Voter

Q. What is a cesarean section?

A. A womb with a view.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: freepun; humor; jokes; lol; pun; puns
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To: VA Voter
My children's favorite.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

221 posted on 08/23/2007 2:11:25 PM PDT by HungarianGypsy
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To: VA Voter
A triple pun:

When the three brothers couldn't agree on a name for their new beef-cattle ranch, their mother had a suggestion: FOCUS

Why, they asked, would they name it that? Because, she said, it's where the sun's rays meet

222 posted on 08/23/2007 2:24:14 PM PDT by watchin (Facts irritate liberals)
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To: VA Voter
Why does Michael Vick think he is getting Icelandic justice?

Cuz they're going to rake ya, Vick.

223 posted on 08/23/2007 3:14:57 PM PDT by Ken H
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To: Enterprise

“At least you didn’t use the phrase ‘my ass is dragon.’”

I might have last night, but being a new day, it’s now a moat point.


224 posted on 08/23/2007 3:22:15 PM PDT by Rennes Templar ("The future ain't what it used to be".........Yogi Berra)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance
A midget Psychic escaped from the Prison. Headlines that night said “Small Medium at Large.”

And on a fashion note... Corduroy pillows are making headlines :>)

225 posted on 08/23/2007 3:24:23 PM PDT by irishtenor (There is no "I" in team, but there are two in IDIOT.)
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To: VA Voter

Man who go through turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.


226 posted on 08/23/2007 3:38:01 PM PDT by Hacksaw (Appalachian by the grace of God - Montani Semper Liberi)
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To: Hacksaw

Saving


227 posted on 08/23/2007 4:59:48 PM PDT by freeangel ( (free speech is only good until someone else doesn't like what you say))
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To: Old Sarge

Hick #1: M R MICE Them are mice
Hick #2: M R NOT Them are not
Hick #1: M R 2 Them are too
Hick #2: TAINT SOW It ain’t so
Hick #1: O S A R Oh, yes they are
Hick #1: C M EDBD FEET? See them itty bitty feet?
Hick #2: L I B, M R MICE! Well, I’ll be, them are mice!


228 posted on 08/23/2007 6:40:07 PM PDT by VA Voter
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To: watchin; OSHA

“where the sun’s rays meet” is the first pun. The second was “where the son’s raise meat”.

What is the third?


229 posted on 08/23/2007 6:52:37 PM PDT by VA Voter
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To: Political Junkie Too

See 208, 209 & 229.


230 posted on 08/23/2007 7:22:30 PM PDT by VA Voter
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To: VA Voter
Each word is a pun.
Sons-suns
raise-rays
meat-meet.
231 posted on 08/23/2007 7:56:12 PM PDT by OSHA (Liberals will lick the boot on their necks if they think the other boot is on yours and mine.)
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To: VA Voter

PERFECT!

Thet’s funny, raght thar!


232 posted on 08/23/2007 8:26:54 PM PDT by Old Sarge (This tagline in memory of FReeper 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub)
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To: VA Voter
"MAMMON, n. The god of the world's leading religion. The chief temple is in the holy city of New York." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
233 posted on 08/23/2007 8:34:51 PM PDT by Sir Francis Dashwood (LET'S ROLL!)
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To: The Spirit Of Allegiance

LOLOLOL!

Thanks for the ping!
I just KNOW I’m gonna enjoy this one. ;o)

Bump for later!


234 posted on 08/23/2007 9:33:52 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators. ~~ Will Rogers)
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To: VA Voter; All
I found this famous quote from Oliver Wendell Holmes today just by chance and thought everyone would enjoy it.

A pun does not commonly justify a blow in return. But if a blow were given for such cause, and death ensued, the jury would be judges both of the facts and of the pun, and might, if the latter were of an aggravated character, return a verdict of justifiable homicide.
- Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

235 posted on 08/24/2007 10:33:09 PM PDT by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken)
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To: VA Voter
Not so much a pun but when has staying on topic ever stopped me from posting?

There were 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench late one evening. After about 20 minutes of chit chat a man popped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first old lady was so scared she had a stroke the second old lady being ill of health had a stroke as well. The third lady however couldn't reach.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

236 posted on 08/24/2007 11:42:07 PM PDT by TightyRighty
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To: VA Voter

A pun only requires wordplay on one word. “The dolphin did it on porpoise” is a single pun, albeit a really stupid one.

The punchline and its sound-alike (purpose/porpoise) are not separate puns, so you’ve counted the wrong thing. Here’s why it’s a triple pun:

1) sun’s -> sons
2) rays -> raise
3) meet -> meat

BTW, I didn’t say it was good, or funny, just triple. :)


237 posted on 08/26/2007 1:37:45 AM PDT by watchin (Facts irritate liberals)
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To: VA Voter
Geologist make the bedrock

Geologist are very gneiss

Don't take rocks for granite.

Can you tell I am a geology student? Also studying science means I will run into many more puns in the future.

238 posted on 08/26/2007 2:18:03 AM PDT by LukeL
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