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The Top 10 Lies Happy Husbands Tell
MSN/Redbook ^
| 01/04/06
| Keith Blanchard
Posted on 01/04/2006 2:56:33 PM PST by misterrob
You want to know the truth? Guys lie -- occasionally, compulsively, desperately. We certainly don't have a monopoly on lying, and I've seen women pull off some whoppers, but we men, over centuries of tinkering, have developed hardy, scrutiny-resistant strains. In the interests of furthering intergender understanding, I talked real guys into identifying, and explaining, their biggest lies.
"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
"I can fix it."
"I was not looking at her boobs."
"Nothing's wrong."
"I tried to call you."
"I don't want to have sex unless you want to."
"I'm the best, baby."
"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
"I'll never lie to you."
(Excerpt) Read more at lifestyle.msn.com ...
TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: clinton; humor; lies; love; marriage; men
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To: Gaffer
"and if she ain't happy long enough, you gonna be unhappy with half your stuff"
Actually-that's part of my grand plan. About very ten years I gather too much stuff, so I get married.
After a few years, I get to enjoy the challenge of starting over again with little to nothing
41
posted on
01/04/2006 3:29:11 PM PST
by
5Madman2
(There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
To: dfwgator
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." (I want to fondle you.)
Laugh all you want - it always worked for me ;)
42
posted on
01/04/2006 3:29:20 PM PST
by
reagan_fanatic
(Darwinism is a belief in the meaninglessness of existence - R. Kirk)
To: Diana in Wisconsin
So, sex is always the first priority with guys. whereas with women sex is down there on the bottom of the list along with scrubbing the toilet.
43
posted on
01/04/2006 3:29:29 PM PST
by
JackDanielsOldNo7
(If it wasn't for marriage, I would not have this screenname.)
To: misterrob
"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
"I was not looking at her boobs."
"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
What man in his right mind would tell the truth about these? "Sure, honey, that dress looks fine" is along the lines of the answer that must be given if the husband is asked the classic Does this make me look fat?.
44
posted on
01/04/2006 3:29:30 PM PST
by
R. Scott
(Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
Sweetie, I think $75 is a great price to pay for a hair cut. Why don't you go a little further and get your toe nails cleaned next time as, well.
45
posted on
01/04/2006 3:29:51 PM PST
by
AlGone2001
(He's not a baby anymore...)
To: misterrob
Single man lie:
I had a really good time with you and I'll call
46
posted on
01/04/2006 3:30:37 PM PST
by
5Madman2
(There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
To: misterrob
"I'll pull out in time.........I promise."
To: JackDanielsOldNo7
Not in THIS marriage. You need to re-read my post. ;)
48
posted on
01/04/2006 3:30:46 PM PST
by
Diana in Wisconsin
(Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
To: RightOnline
In this case 46 usually comes after 47
49
posted on
01/04/2006 3:31:29 PM PST
by
5Madman2
(There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
To: Billthedrill
"No, dear, those jeans don't make you look fat."
When my daughter gained weight, she often asked me That Question. I finally learned how to get her to stop asking it Id reply, Its not the jeans that make you look fat.
50
posted on
01/04/2006 3:32:49 PM PST
by
R. Scott
(Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
To: Diana in Wisconsin
Not in THIS marriage. You need to re-read my post. ;) Lucky man. Are you an alien or something? Most women abhor sex(unless they want kids)
51
posted on
01/04/2006 3:33:32 PM PST
by
JackDanielsOldNo7
(If it wasn't for marriage, I would not have this screenname.)
To: misterrob
You forgot: "Of course I know how to get there"
52
posted on
01/04/2006 3:35:03 PM PST
by
Caipirabob
(Democrats.. Socialists..Commies..Traitors...Who can tell the difference?)
To: JackDanielsOldNo7
53
posted on
01/04/2006 3:35:20 PM PST
by
Stu Cohen
(Press '1' for English)
To: Prime Choice
11. "It's not new, I've had it a long time."
12. "They sent those packages by mistake."
13. "I don't know why I got a ticket for 20mph over the limit."
14. "The mall was closed today."
15. "Don't worry, the jewelry is fake."
54
posted on
01/04/2006 3:35:46 PM PST
by
quantim
(If the Constitution were perfect it wouldn't have included the Senate.)
To: RightOnline
"I'll pull out in time.........I promise."
"It will only hurt a little bit..."
55
posted on
01/04/2006 3:35:46 PM PST
by
Thrusher
("...there is no peace without victory.")
To: JackDanielsOldNo7
That's because after awhile most men forget how to romance and seduce there wife, they think honey roll over or gimmie, or some other choice words will make the wife want to do the deed and most women say Ah! forget about it and dream of Sean Connery..LOL..
56
posted on
01/04/2006 3:35:47 PM PST
by
laney
(Happy 2006!)
To: RightOnline
"I'll pull out in time.........I promise."Don't bet your freedom on it. ; )
57
posted on
01/04/2006 3:36:29 PM PST
by
Caipirabob
(Democrats.. Socialists..Commies..Traitors...Who can tell the difference?)
To: Prime Choice
When asked, "What are you thinking about?", my answer to her is always, "You in a red and black silk camisole, my dear."
I was never that creative. I usually just answered sex.
58
posted on
01/04/2006 3:36:29 PM PST
by
R. Scott
(Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
To: JackDanielsOldNo7
Nope. Just one of those women who ignored EVERYTHING the Femi-Nazis told me "I wanted" out of life from age ten to seventeen.
Retired Army (I joined at 17); I had a a full and fun career-life then settled down to "Mommyville" when I was about thirty-five. (Raised my Step-Son and my two nephews.)
Yep. I'm one of a kind, I guess. But currently there's only one man in the state of Wisconsin, or any other state for that matter, no matter how much I love Jack Daniels, that's currently "licensed" to 'have his way' with me. ;)
59
posted on
01/04/2006 3:40:38 PM PST
by
Diana in Wisconsin
(Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
To: Prime Choice
"So what are the top 10 lies women tell husbands?"
#11 Husband "Is that new?"
Wife "No. I have had it awhile. You never
noticed." (Meaning she bought it about 3 hours
earlier).
60
posted on
01/04/2006 3:42:21 PM PST
by
tbird5
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