Posted on 10/30/2004 3:21:54 PM PDT by GOPcapitalist
HERE'S WHY:
Bush sign theft has been a huge problem in my area just like everywhere else. Yesterday when I put out my latest set of Bush signs I decided to also leave a warning for the Democrat scum that keeps stealing other people's property. I got a ziplock back, filled it with old paint, and taped it to the inside of my sign. It was rigged to dispense its contents if anybody turned it sideways. Though my sign was stolen (and is now replaced with another), I am happy to report that somewhere there's a Kerry-supporting marxist twit driving around in a volvo diversity wagon with a huge green stain on his or her back seat.
Aren't medical maggots available now?
How about the really thin sandwich bags maybe painted or some such or with the maggots in a few layers of wet towel or some such . . .
The symbolism would be worth it . . . as would lots of maggots all over the back of a car . . . especially if they have little girls.
One could put wasp nests inside but that would be too dangerous for those with allergies. Scratch that.
Wouldn't know how to collect a critical mass of gnats.
Various kinds of worms could be interesting.
Then there's powdered sugar. Dangerous to inhale, though.
Perhaps some powdered sugar mixed with flour. Gets difficult to clean up and easily sticky in humid climates.
Seems to me the bags would do well to rupture in key ways immediately when tampered with but not really leak out visibly for about 2-3 minutes. I suppose cutting some slits every inch or so in the sides of ziplocks . . . and putting 3 or so layers of slit bags around one designed to rupture easily but without slits--that might work.
Or perhaps a thin fish line buried inline with the stake . . . with some barb or nail or some such which would rupture the inner bag easily without being too easy to detect . . .
I'm getting too much of a kick out of this. I should stop!
Gotta love it!
I did see a garbage truck on the interstate last week that had a 4 foot Kerry banner across the back of it. The banner was covered in sh*t, though it certainly wasn't intended that way. It was very ironic and very fitting. As to the sign theives, remember that most of these Kerry types are unemployed and have nothing to do all day or all night. So they head out to suburbia and wage war on Bush signs.
AWESOME!!!
too good!
I've generally found with the small sandwich size ziplocks (get the cheap dollar store kind - not the name brand) that if you fill it till its full, gently seal it, and place it inside virtually any amount of pressure or disturbance will cause the seal to open. Hammer the sign into the ground deep and they're sure to loosen it just while trying to get the sign out. Then when it makes it to the back seat the contents spill everywhere.
Hmmmm.
Ideas:
limburgher cheese
crisco
chocolate syrup
breast-fed baby's poop
mud
curdled milk
That should work alright. But to avoid premature leaking and discovery could be tricky sometimes.
I'd think.
Rotten eggs or the gas makings that smell like it?
Hmmmmm
I wonder if someone could melt limburgher cheese . . . mixing it with some maybe bits of torn sponge torn really small--all the better to get into nooks and crannies and slowly deliver it's 'aroma therapy' for months to come--unless they virtually tear the inside of the car apart . . . and maybe some baby diahrrea . . . .
what a wonderful surprise sign present!
I should quit thinking this way. Too much glee involved.
BTW I need to thank you for giving me the only laugh of the day I've had.
I keep laughing every time I think of that guy's back seat!
As was mine in San Jose Kalifornia...Theres gonna be a lot of left wing heart attacks on Weds.
Coat (liberally, as it were) the edges of the sign and the top of the wooden groundstick. Some 'Rat may steal the sign, but that'll be the last one he steals for quite some time, I'll gar-on-tee.
The mixture is not directly rain-soluble, but it's as well to reapply it after a rain, or better still move the sign into the garage (WITH gloves, please!).
Clothing dye is designed *NOT* to be removable once it colors a fabric, and it's cheap at any grocery store. Paint can be removed with thinners and other solvents.
Ferrous sulfide. On contact with water, it releases hydrogen sulfide.
When I was a kid/geek, I went into the principal's office on a pretext, and dropped some, wrappedin a small tissue paper ball into a potted plant.
Walking by later, I saw a group of uncomfortable and suffering office workers trying to avoid each other's glances, wonder who was the guilty party...
What are the results?
I like the idea of the back of their cars being rather . . . degraded . . . in a very noticable and offensive way that will give them
recurring refresher memories for months to come.
On the Blue Route, they are all over the entrances and exits and all up and down the highway...dozens in each spot. Everywhere you look. It's sickening.
When French-boy loses, they won't have the common courtesy to go pick up that mess, either. I'm going to pick up every Kedwards sign that I see on public property - the boys at the rifle range will be most appreciative (the signs make fine target holders - especially the Coroplast type with the wire legs).
Ooooh, nasty. But if you really want to make it weapons-grade:
Pure 100% Capsaisin Extract. Dave's Insanity Sauce measures at 80,000 scoville units. Pure Cap is *500,000*.
And in case anyone's wondering what the DMSO is for in SAJ's recipe, it's to carry the capsaisin into and under the skin, so it can't be washed off -- and so it causes pain in underlying tissues, not just on the surface.
Just put a hunk of limburgher and a sponge in a blender or food processor, and run it till it's as fine as you want it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.