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My Bush sign was stolen last night, but I'm happy...
vanity | 10/30/04 | me

Posted on 10/30/2004 3:21:54 PM PDT by GOPcapitalist

HERE'S WHY:

Bush sign theft has been a huge problem in my area just like everywhere else. Yesterday when I put out my latest set of Bush signs I decided to also leave a warning for the Democrat scum that keeps stealing other people's property. I got a ziplock back, filled it with old paint, and taped it to the inside of my sign. It was rigged to dispense its contents if anybody turned it sideways. Though my sign was stolen (and is now replaced with another), I am happy to report that somewhere there's a Kerry-supporting marxist twit driving around in a volvo diversity wagon with a huge green stain on his or her back seat.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: bushsigns; kerry; signtheft; thieves; yardsign
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To: GOPcapitalist

Aren't medical maggots available now?

How about the really thin sandwich bags maybe painted or some such or with the maggots in a few layers of wet towel or some such . . .

The symbolism would be worth it . . . as would lots of maggots all over the back of a car . . . especially if they have little girls.

One could put wasp nests inside but that would be too dangerous for those with allergies. Scratch that.

Wouldn't know how to collect a critical mass of gnats.

Various kinds of worms could be interesting.

Then there's powdered sugar. Dangerous to inhale, though.

Perhaps some powdered sugar mixed with flour. Gets difficult to clean up and easily sticky in humid climates.

Seems to me the bags would do well to rupture in key ways immediately when tampered with but not really leak out visibly for about 2-3 minutes. I suppose cutting some slits every inch or so in the sides of ziplocks . . . and putting 3 or so layers of slit bags around one designed to rupture easily but without slits--that might work.

Or perhaps a thin fish line buried inline with the stake . . . with some barb or nail or some such which would rupture the inner bag easily without being too easy to detect . . .

I'm getting too much of a kick out of this. I should stop!


41 posted on 10/30/2004 3:50:15 PM PDT by Quix (PRAY! ENERGIZE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS! CHALLENGE REASONABLE LIBERALS W FACTS!)
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To: GOPcapitalist

Gotta love it!


42 posted on 10/30/2004 3:51:00 PM PDT by eleni121 (: the kurds.)
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To: foofoopowder

I did see a garbage truck on the interstate last week that had a 4 foot Kerry banner across the back of it. The banner was covered in sh*t, though it certainly wasn't intended that way. It was very ironic and very fitting. As to the sign theives, remember that most of these Kerry types are unemployed and have nothing to do all day or all night. So they head out to suburbia and wage war on Bush signs.


43 posted on 10/30/2004 3:51:06 PM PDT by GOPcapitalist
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To: GOPcapitalist

AWESOME!!!


44 posted on 10/30/2004 3:51:42 PM PDT by Tigercap
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To: GOPcapitalist

too good!


45 posted on 10/30/2004 3:52:19 PM PDT by applpie
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To: Quix

I've generally found with the small sandwich size ziplocks (get the cheap dollar store kind - not the name brand) that if you fill it till its full, gently seal it, and place it inside virtually any amount of pressure or disturbance will cause the seal to open. Hammer the sign into the ground deep and they're sure to loosen it just while trying to get the sign out. Then when it makes it to the back seat the contents spill everywhere.


46 posted on 10/30/2004 3:53:51 PM PDT by GOPcapitalist
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To: GOPcapitalist

Hmmmm.
Ideas:

limburgher cheese
crisco
chocolate syrup
breast-fed baby's poop
mud
curdled milk


47 posted on 10/30/2004 3:55:06 PM PDT by Conservatrix ("He's a barf." --- Sophia T., Age 4, on John Baldrick "I have a cunning plan" Kerry)
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To: GOPcapitalist

That should work alright. But to avoid premature leaking and discovery could be tricky sometimes.

I'd think.


48 posted on 10/30/2004 3:55:18 PM PDT by Quix (PRAY! ENERGIZE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS! CHALLENGE REASONABLE LIBERALS W FACTS!)
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To: Conservatrix

Rotten eggs or the gas makings that smell like it?


49 posted on 10/30/2004 3:56:41 PM PDT by Quix (PRAY! ENERGIZE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS! CHALLENGE REASONABLE LIBERALS W FACTS!)
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To: Conservatrix

Hmmmmm
I wonder if someone could melt limburgher cheese . . . mixing it with some maybe bits of torn sponge torn really small--all the better to get into nooks and crannies and slowly deliver it's 'aroma therapy' for months to come--unless they virtually tear the inside of the car apart . . . and maybe some baby diahrrea . . . .

what a wonderful surprise sign present!

I should quit thinking this way. Too much glee involved.


50 posted on 10/30/2004 3:59:52 PM PDT by Quix (PRAY! ENERGIZE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS! CHALLENGE REASONABLE LIBERALS W FACTS!)
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To: GOPcapitalist

BTW I need to thank you for giving me the only laugh of the day I've had.
I keep laughing every time I think of that guy's back seat!


51 posted on 10/30/2004 4:00:04 PM PDT by Conservatrix ("He's a barf." --- Sophia T., Age 4, on John Baldrick "I have a cunning plan" Kerry)
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To: foofoopowder
You could be right about the paper deliverer, but I doubt it. I think of those guys as hard working men and women who get up REAL EARLY to get your paper to you before 5 or 6 AM. I think they are probably hard working with no elitist casual time for "liberal" baloney. I could be wrong. I think it's the self-indulgent, overeducated, trust fund college students and their professors up to this mischief.
52 posted on 10/30/2004 4:01:19 PM PDT by garyhope
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To: garyhope

As was mine in San Jose Kalifornia...Theres gonna be a lot of left wing heart attacks on Weds.


53 posted on 10/30/2004 4:03:12 PM PDT by samadams2000
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To: Quix
Much simpler. Use a mixture of vaseline, DMSO, and distilled habanero essence (for instance, Insanity-brand pepper sauce). The mixture should be just this side of runny; it should not slide down the sign when applied (mix in more vaseline if it does). Apply with a spatula (a popsicle stick works fine), but DO NOT get the mixture on your skin, definitely wear Playtex-type gloves when deploying.

Coat (liberally, as it were) the edges of the sign and the top of the wooden groundstick. Some 'Rat may steal the sign, but that'll be the last one he steals for quite some time, I'll gar-on-tee.

The mixture is not directly rain-soluble, but it's as well to reapply it after a rain, or better still move the sign into the garage (WITH gloves, please!).

54 posted on 10/30/2004 4:03:44 PM PDT by SAJ (Buy 2 March NG 15.00 calls, write 5 March NG 18.50calls against, for 5-10 cent credit.)
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To: Conservatrix; GOPcapitalist
Better yet:

Clothing dye is designed *NOT* to be removable once it colors a fabric, and it's cheap at any grocery store. Paint can be removed with thinners and other solvents.

55 posted on 10/30/2004 4:04:40 PM PDT by Ichneumon ("...she might as well have been a space alien." - Bill Clinton, on Hillary, "My Life", p. 182)
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To: Quix
Rotten eggs or the gas makings that smell like it?

Ferrous sulfide. On contact with water, it releases hydrogen sulfide.

When I was a kid/geek, I went into the principal's office on a pretext, and dropped some, wrappedin a small tissue paper ball into a potted plant.

Walking by later, I saw a group of uncomfortable and suffering office workers trying to avoid each other's glances, wonder who was the guilty party...

56 posted on 10/30/2004 4:07:21 PM PDT by Gorzaloon (Thereza-Heinz-DiazDeBovar-Greenberg-Wang-"O"'Kerry: PROOF that even the Rich can marry a failure.)
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To: SAJ

What are the results?

I like the idea of the back of their cars being rather . . . degraded . . . in a very noticable and offensive way that will give them

recurring refresher memories for months to come.


57 posted on 10/30/2004 4:10:47 PM PDT by Quix (PRAY! ENERGIZE CONSERVATIVE VOTERS! CHALLENGE REASONABLE LIBERALS W FACTS!)
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To: Jorge
Some Kerry zealots are lining the roads out here (SW Philly suburbs)with hundreds of Kerry-Edwards signs.

On the Blue Route, they are all over the entrances and exits and all up and down the highway...dozens in each spot. Everywhere you look. It's sickening.

When French-boy loses, they won't have the common courtesy to go pick up that mess, either. I'm going to pick up every Kedwards sign that I see on public property - the boys at the rifle range will be most appreciative (the signs make fine target holders - especially the Coroplast type with the wire legs).

58 posted on 10/30/2004 4:10:50 PM PDT by Cloud William (Liberals are the crab grass in the lawn of life.)
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To: SAJ
Much simpler. Use a mixture of vaseline, DMSO, and distilled habanero essence (for instance, Insanity-brand pepper sauce).

Ooooh, nasty. But if you really want to make it weapons-grade:

Pure 100% Capsaisin Extract. Dave's Insanity Sauce measures at 80,000 scoville units. Pure Cap is *500,000*.

And in case anyone's wondering what the DMSO is for in SAJ's recipe, it's to carry the capsaisin into and under the skin, so it can't be washed off -- and so it causes pain in underlying tissues, not just on the surface.

59 posted on 10/30/2004 4:13:41 PM PDT by Ichneumon ("...she might as well have been a space alien." - Bill Clinton, on Hillary, "My Life", p. 182)
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To: Quix

Just put a hunk of limburgher and a sponge in a blender or food processor, and run it till it's as fine as you want it.


60 posted on 10/30/2004 4:14:07 PM PDT by Oblongata
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