Posted on 07/27/2022 9:49:29 PM PDT by fidelis
We get it. It's hard to read the divinely inspired word of the creator of the universe. He's so judgy! But, since your salvation might depend on it, you better get some great excuses ready to share on Judgment Day.
Here are some of the best excuses for not reading your Bible:
1. You just went to church last month and don't want to overdo it: You don't want to be an extremist!
2. It's not as encouraging as Your Best Life Now: Joel Osteen's prose is to die for.
3. If you take your eye off the Hot Pocket you're microwaving for one second it might burn: And then you'd be hungry! God wouldn't want that.
4. You already watched The Chosen: It's so hard to get into a good book if you already know how it ends.
5. Those 900 Korok seeds in Zelda: Breath of the Wild aren't going to collect themselves: Finding Korok seeds is a metaphor for finding Christ probably.
6. You're Donald Trump and don't need forgiveness: He has never done anything wrong, ever.
7. You're still recovering from the story of Ehud: Enough to give anyone PTSD.
8. You misplaced your copy and new ones are so hard to find: You have to walk all the way to the back of Barnes & Noble.
9. The Jordan Peterson lecture on Genesis you watched has you covered: Up yours woke moralists! We'll see who cancels who from paradise!
20. It's not like the Bible is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work, or anything like that: 'Cause if it were, you'd definitely meditate on it day and night.
Some things are not funny or to be taken lightly. This is a prime example.
I disagree. One of the purposes of humor, especially satire, is to illuminate the truth in ways other than lecturing people (which they will tune out). It can be a great weapon for truth..
Because the print in some editions is insanely tiny!
Lighten up Ayatollah. They are using levity to remind people that they really have no good excuse for not reading their Bibles regularly.
We’re Catholic—we don’t read Bibles!
You're not the audience for this one. This one is written for someone who's never particularly thought about the Bible and who might be drawn in by the funny and then find themselves actually ... thinking about it.
I’ve noticed that the older I get the smaller they keep making the print in Bibles! Fonts used to be comfortably large when I was a boy; now they make them look like ants.
"There's a time for every purpose under heaven."
Or when David said to Uriah, “You’re in a Heep of trouble boy!”
LOL! Speak for yourself!
Exactly! I found my New Testament they gave me way back in the Marines. I sure didn’t remember the microscopic font.
I had to re-read the Judges story in #7.
We have watched The Chosen, and while it’s good, we also recognize the license taken with the stuff that is not actually taken from Scripture. They did cast some of the characters exceedingly well though.
The Chosen has excellent actors and actresses, which carried the series very well through two seasons. But two characters named Mary are already out of gas. Mary of Magdala is spent because 1) her stupendous level of vice was vastly underplayed, and 2) her deliverance from seven demons took place too early in the arc of the screenplay and was depicted as having taken place entirely out of the public eye rather than smack dab inside the home of a highly put out Simon the Pharisee, and the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God is already irretrievably stuck in time because 1) she needed to be the most beautiful woman one can posdibly imagine with an apparent age no greater than 33 but is played by an actress made up to appear every minute of 50 and barely as attractive as worn shoe leather, and 2) she is unavailable for a gradual and grace-filled elevation above all other humans before our very eyes leading up to Pentecost because Mr. Dallas, the author producer director, is an apparently unreachably separated brother who can’t afford to confess Mother Mary’s utter freedom from all sin by means of a singular grace of Christ crucified, reaching back in time to the moment of her miraculous conception in the womb of her mother Anne (circa 14BC or so).
11. I already learned everything I need to know from my HELLO, KITTY! IT’S JESUS CALLING devotional.
12. It burns, it burnnnnns!
I admit I had to as well. I forgot who Ehud was, but recognized the story as soon as I saw it.
That is because you are biblically literate. But the vast majority of viewers who are not do not know the difference between The Chosen and the Bible. I think it is a misplaced hope, as some people have, that by watching this show, many people will be inspired to actually pick up a Bible. They just want to be entertained.
There’s no Scriptural record of Mary Magdalene living a life of a stupendous level of vice. All Scripture tells us is that Jesus cast 7 demons from her. Any reports of her being a prostitute are untrue. There’s no indication of that from Scripture.
The portrayal of Mary, mother of Jesus that you present is completely without basis. She was not perpetually young, not sinless, and not to be elevated about other people. That is simply a fabrication for the purpose of deifying a normal human being.
Sadly, I have to agree.
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