Posted on 11/20/2020 12:22:09 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
U.S.—A concerning new study has revealed that kids raised in church youth groups are leaving the Christian faith at alarming rates, regardless of how much free Mountain Dew and pizza the church ministry feeds them in high school.
"I don't know what else to do," said local youth pastor Kaylen Zedwink, known affectionately as "Z-man" by his youth group. "I've consumed nothing but pizza and Mountain Dew for the last 12 years. My cholesterol is approaching lethal levels now. My body is covered in welts from being constantly shot with paintballs. I spend $1200 per month on cool clothes. I study the Bible for hours and hours and try to translate it into something these kids can understand. And then they go to college and drop their Christianity like a hot potato. Somebody help me!"
According to sources, young Christians across the country are starving for deeper, more robust teaching of the gospel.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Actually pretty true these days.
Absolutely
If somebody has to entice you with Pizza and Mountain Dew, it’s a pretty good indication that what you’re selling won’t be appealing to them.
This may be satire, but the truth is that kids see very clearly through the veil of hypocrisy of most churches, and unlike a lot of grownups, they leave.
Kids drop the old hypocrisy in search of a hypocrisy they can call their own.
Don’t worry, they’ll be back after the sex change operation.
Its funny, but its how it seems always to work. Raise up a child in the way he should go, and he will depart from it for a time. Then over time, he finds his way home. Sometimes too late for his own kids, but thats another story.
Well. I left my Lutheran Church 1971 when the membership voted to spend a million bucks on a new church rather than 250K to expand the old one and leave more for missionary work. They lost their way. God doesn’t want monuments. He wants good works. I found a different congregation.
Yeah, I think that’s true.
Exactly what happened to me in my late teens, then I found my way back in my mid-30s.
24/7 indoctyination from their schools and peer groups that Christians are racist bastards.
Look at any tv show or movie made as of late. The Christian kid is a wacko.
That’s happened in near every church I’ve been in. Missionary work is after the luncheons, the paved parking lot, the new pews and cool facade.
I was told “Youth Groups” were started by the mainline Presbyterian church. All their kids left so other churches started their own groups.
Kids aren’t being bribed with mountain dew and pizza?!
That is not alarming at all, in fact, it’s quite refreshing
Babylon Bee...
Sadly true.
Maybe the churches should start preaching genuine faith and repentance and see how kids respond.
Pizza and RC cola and I might check it out.
Mountain Dew is far too sweet for me. I could never stand the stuff.
I liked Sun Drop for a few years.
Just because a young redeemed person is leaving the church or youth group doesn’t mean that they are, or have somehow become(not possible anyway), an unbeliever. There is a whole world of crap to explore for people that age. Between that and hormones, it’s a wonder, and by Gods Grace alone, that most of us survived it probably.
They’ll have to now. The Spirit is being quenched around the world like no other time in history.
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