Skip to comments.
Angry Arminian Mob Pulls Down Statue Of John Calvin
Babylon Bee ^
Posted on 06/20/2020 3:03:53 PM PDT by Gamecock
PITTSBURGH, PAA rowdy gang of angry, riled-up Arminian believers gathered to pull down a statue of Reformer John Calvin standing in front of Calvin Reformed Bible College & Seminary, authorities confirmed Friday.
The band of Wesleyan troublemakers brought a rope, lassoed it around the neck of the stone likeness of Calvin, and yanked it down while yelling rallying cries like Down with limited atonement! Youll never take our free will! and For Servetus!
Mob members then stomped on the statue and spray-painted crude Arminian slogans on the downed Reformer, according to police reports.
We encourage all citizens to stay indoors as this dangerous gang of theological hooligans roams the streets, police chief Ed Patterson said at a press conference. When you get the Arminians going, theres no extent to the depravity they can display.
Stay safe out there, and may God bless you all, the police officer concluded before ducking to avoid an on-fire copy of Why I Am Not A Calvinist hurled by a rogue protester in the crowd.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: arminian; babylonbee; calvin; humor; mob; nothobbes; religion; statue; theology; wesley
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-46 next last
1
posted on
06/20/2020 3:03:53 PM PDT
by
Gamecock
To: All
Oh, I forgot, this is satire.
2
posted on
06/20/2020 3:04:55 PM PDT
by
Gamecock
(We shouldn't be surprised at God hating Esau. We should be surprised that he loved Jacob. (RCSproul))
To: chesley; ConservativeMind; Lee N. Field; suzyjaruki; lupie; Diapason; panzerkamphwageneinz; ...
3
posted on
06/20/2020 3:05:22 PM PDT
by
Gamecock
(We shouldn't be surprised at God hating Esau. We should be surprised that he loved Jacob. (RCSproul))
To: Gamecock
4
posted on
06/20/2020 3:05:57 PM PDT
by
madison10
To: Gamecock
5
posted on
06/20/2020 3:06:04 PM PDT
by
shadeaud
(Stand up and be proud that you are Americans regards of color)
To: Gamecock
The Arminian mob will be enlightened soon enough. Thank God the faith isn’t built on statues.
6
posted on
06/20/2020 3:07:45 PM PDT
by
Salvavida
To: Salvavida
7
posted on
06/20/2020 3:08:35 PM PDT
by
madison10
To: Gamecock
What?! I dont even... oh... the bee...
8
posted on
06/20/2020 3:09:03 PM PDT
by
Skywise
To: Gamecock
I’m no Calvinist, but shouldn’t John Calvin be against having a statue of himself place for respect and admiration?
9
posted on
06/20/2020 3:11:57 PM PDT
by
Dr. Sivana
(There is no salvation in politics)
To: Gamecock
It was predestined to happen.
To: madison10
.....or maverick molecules..........
To: Dr. Sivana
There is no adoration going on so it is OK.
12
posted on
06/20/2020 3:13:02 PM PDT
by
Gamecock
(We shouldn't be surprised at God hating Esau. We should be surprised that he loved Jacob. (RCSproul))
To: Gamecock
Look for the statue of Hobbes to be the next target.
To: Gamecock
Maybe the Calvinists will retaliate and topple John Wesley from Bovard Tower at the University of Southern California. And Wesley may be worried, because from his perch, he watched as the statue of Rufus von KleinSmid, arguably USC's greatest president, was removed because it was found that he supported eugenics during the 1920's. The Von KleinSmid Ceenter, which houses the International Relatoions, Political Science and Public Administration schools is also being renamed.
![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/iqak3W8XQoCoc3mMxSyHNwZwCZ6DIoyIa5DaeUzBfKmUFlwFk-yIyUp-MCCsOiIVnMm-nk6x35KlG4b-gfstyki4EX1RteMY0Ip01iRJ)
John Wesley, Bovard Tower, USC
To: Gamecock
This satire is Totally, Irresistibly, Unconditionally hysterical, and most, who have Limited senses of humor, might not get it. But...we Persevere.
It was predestined.
15
posted on
06/20/2020 3:18:55 PM PDT
by
left that other site
(If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all. (Isaiah 7:9))
To: windsorknot
To: Gamecock
Fooled again. . . .the regular headlines are so bizarre these days that anything is possible.
17
posted on
06/20/2020 3:23:40 PM PDT
by
Maudeen
(www.thereishopeinJesus.com)
To: Gamecock
The actions of such people are totally depraved.
To: Gamecock
There seems to be so much real madness that this satire just seemed to be another small toxic dose.
19
posted on
06/20/2020 3:25:43 PM PDT
by
rlmorel
("Truth is Treason in the Empire of Lies"- George Orwell)
To: Gamecock
Lol, the Bee just gets better and better.
20
posted on
06/20/2020 3:26:49 PM PDT
by
McGavin999
(Not one politician or journalist has died of Covid)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-46 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson