Skip to comments.Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts
Posted on 03/06/2020 4:00:40 PM PST by foundedonpurpose
Home > Christian Living > Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On ... Christian Living Miracle: Coronavirus Passes Over Houses With Chick-Fil-A Sauce Smeared On Door Posts March 5th, 2020
Shares SHARE U.S.The CDC is suggesting lots of weird ways to avoid contracting coronavirus, such as "washing your hands" and "not licking doorknobs." These methods sound kind of sciencey, so we were immediately suspicious of them.
Sure enough, it seems the best way to avoid getting infected is supernatural: many have found that if you paint Chick-fil-A sauce on your doorposts, the virus will pass right over you and your household.
Research seems to indicate that the Angel of Coronavirus passes through each town and city every night and looks for the telltale sign that you are one of God's elect, Chick-fil-A sauce. Those with the correct sign of being one of God's people are passed over, while those without the sign are visited and immediately infected.
"We have no explanation," said one so-called "scientist." "This must be some kind of miracle from God." The scientist said that they tried other substances, such as liberal tears, hand sanitizer, and essential oils, but only Chick-fil-A sauce proved 100% effective at staving off the Angel of Coronavirus.
At publishing time, President Trump had vowed to lead the nation's Christians away from the Coronavirus-infested country and into the Promised Land where there are hardly any diseased people, or people at all. This turned out to be Greenland.
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To the moderator, I goofed on spelling Blood. My apologies, help a guy out if you get a couple seconds.
Smearing Chick-fil-A sauce on your door used to work...but not now, not since CFA turned its back on God.
I havent been there in something like four months.
Are they using the original or BBQ?
Ketchup from In-N-Out Burger also works.
The title alone is hilarious
The last time I was at Chick-fil-A was 11/20/19, for that very reason.
How about garlic mayo from Bad Daddy’s?
I tried it with Popeye’s sauce but all I got were a sailor and a narcotics cop fighting on my front lawn - and then they both got Coronavirus.
I’ll give it a shot.
Back to the Blood of a Lamb...
Not specified. Funny nun the less.
Do you really think you are right?
Not able to provide the XLS file right now.
If my wife and I were about 40-years younger (she’s 81 I’m 86), I’d try to convince her to let me smear that sauce all over her (at least once a day) to protect her from the chicom virus...
At my age it’s hard to remember whether the “smearing it on” or the eventual “licking it off” would be the most fun...
Good for you! May you and your wife be blessed!!
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