Mormons Launch Sacred Underwear Store 'Brigham's Secret'

The Babylon Bee ^ | August 9, 2019 | Staff

[Norski]

SALT LAKE CITY, UT—A specialty underwear shop targeting Mormons has opened in Salt Lake City's Temple Square. If the venture is successful, "Brigham's Secret" stores will become a reality in malls and shopping centers all over the country.

The store allows men and women to shop for various temple undergarments, which are designed to offer both maximum comfort and be a constant reminder of the covenants made with God in the temple.

Coming in multiple colors, types of material, and various different cuts, the luxury temple garments will allow Latter-Day Saints to look their very best while going about their daily lives, as well as participating in special temple ceremonies like being baptized in place of dead relatives.

"For the special one to fifty-five different ladies in your life," the tagline on the store window reads. "Show her you care with luxurious, comfortable temple garments straight from Brigham's underwear drawer to yours."

[Elsie]

...since there are NO manuscripts, or even pieces of any, to refer to.

Well; not quite.

JS did come up with SOMETHING that he claimed was on the plates...

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The "Caractors" are the only tangible evidence in existence related to Smith's story.

No gold plates, no brass plates, no peep stones, no Urim and Thummim...

only these "Caractors," not a single one of which is in the purported languages.

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Smith's translation of the Caractors. According to Martin Harris (Joseph Smith - History, 1:64), "I went to the city of New York, and presented the characters which had been translated, with the translation thereof, to Professor Charles Anthon, a gentleman celebrated for his literary attainments. Professor Anthon stated that the translation was correct, more so than any he had before seen translated from the Egyptian. I then showed him those which were not yet translated,* and he said they were Egyptian, Chaldaic, Assyriac, and Arabic; and he said they were true characters."

Speak right up now in all truthfulness. Isn't it revealing how Smith started out making a stab at creating believable "caractors" but quckly gave up and produced nothing but squiggles, ending up wih a series of nothing more than crude little scribbles? Yet Professor Anthon supposedly translated them!

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*Harris must have had two or three pieces of paper with him—one with characters and a translation of them (on the same paper or a separate one) and one with untranslated characters—quite likely the "Caractors." Some Mormon "scholars" have gone out on a limb, sawed it off, and knocked themselves out trying to translate from these true Egyptian, Chaldaic, Assyriac, and Arabic characters a segment that would correspond with a verse from 1 Nephi.

---

Modern-day experts in Egyptian, Chaldaic, Assyriac, and Arabic. In 1829, any knowledge of these languages possessed by U.S. scholars would have been rudimentary at best. Expertise in them has vastly improved since then. So go ahead, do it. Get any modern expert in these languages to identify which of these "Caractors" are Egyptian, Chaldaic, Assyriac and Arabic. Better still, accept the claim of Mormon apologists that Anthon did indeed so testify and that his appraisal of the Caractors was correct. (Op. cit, pp. 73-75)

Save your money! Samples of Assyriac/Aramaic and Arabic writing:

 

What say you? Which of Smith's "Caractors" resemble the Assyriac and Arabic ones? No need to pay experts for their analysis. A child could accurately check this out. These writing systems have remained constant for well over 3000 years.

[Elsie]

However; it appears that JS did come up with the two button mouse and the four input NAND gate.

There are two and three of them in the picture.

[fproy2222]

Thank you fou showing how hard it is to keep information correct with only one layer of being copied.
It just points out how much harder it is working from copies of copies of copies, even without betng translated from the language of the original documents.

[fproy2222]

Hi Elsie, long time no see.
Are you doing well?

[fproy2222]

” Celestial - for Mormons who have kept ALL of the laws and ordinances of their church.”

Elsie, you didn’t tell us how even you can choose or not choose to accept all the laws and ordinances in the after life when a living, loving person does the work for you.

[Syncro]

I am not implying that and your “referring to” comment is also.

You are mindreading, which is not allowed on the RF.

The last sentence in your reply?

I never did anything of the kind.

Try to stay on subject instead of “inferring” that I did what you are accusing me of.

[RevelationDavid]

Face palm 🤦‍♂️

[Syncro]

I am not implying that and your “referring to” comment is *incorrect* also.

Added word that dropped out of my last reply.

[Norski]

The main difference between the Lord Jesus Christ and Satan is that Jesus is God, and Satan is a created being, an angel, called a cherub, a type of angel, which covered the throne of God.

They cannot be, and are not, brothers.

Satan (another name for Shatan/Adversary) has many names, of which one is SON OF THE MORNING. Another is Dragon, and Serpent.

Isaiah 14: 12-15:
“12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! 13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: 14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High. 15 Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.”

Luke 10:17-19 (JESUS said:)
“17 ¶ And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name. 18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. 19 Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. “

Revelation 12:9
“9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”

[Norski]

Oy.

[fproy2222]

“…Satan is a created being,”

Please show me where you find that referenced in the Bible.
Thank you

[Norski]

Very well.

It is inherent in the Scripture.

Look: Isaiah 14:14

“14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be LIKE the most High.”

Nowhere in the Bible is Satan ever referred to as God.

God is the Creator, and everything and everyone else is a created being.

The only exception is the Lord Jesus Christ, who, being part of the triune God, and being God, deigned to come be born as a human, a being made of dirt, as are we humans.

Look here, please:

John 10: 25-30

“25 Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father’s name, they bear witness of me. 26 But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and my Father are one.”

I AND MY FATHER ARE ONE.

Jesus is God. Satan, formerly known as Lucifer, is a created being.

Luke 10:18 “I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.”

Satan is a fallen angel, as are one-third of the angels of Heaven.

He is also known as Beelzebub, the prince of the devils, the Prince of the power of the air, the prince of this world, that old dragon, the serpent, and several other names.

Luke 10:15 “15 But some of them said, He casteth out devils through Beelzebub the chief of the devils.”

and Jesus said:

Luke 10:18 “18 If Satan also be divided against himself, how shall his kingdom stand? because ye say that I cast out devils through Beelzebub. 19 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your sons cast them out? therefore shall they be your judges.”

[Norski]

Dear FRiend:

Please, do NOT take my word for any of this. Please look up the scriptures and the information in the Bible for yourself.

I find that the most useful software to do these searches is called “Pure Bible Search” and it is free for download here:

http://www.purebiblesearch.com/

Look, it’s all there, right there, in your Bible:

Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub, Jesus, devils, Father, Holy Father, creator. Look up the terms Son of God. Son of man.
Angels. Devils. Spirit. Heaven.

It is all there. Do not take my word for it. Look it up for yourself. Please.

Jesus said:

John 14:6

“6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. 7 If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.”

And then verse 13:

“13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”

Jesus is God and also the only begotten Son of God.

Satan is not.

[fproy2222]

Thank you
I will study what you said.

Just so I know how much weight to give the teachings of “Pure Bible Search”, why do you believe thay have the right to tell you what God the father and Jesus the Christ are teaching us in the Bible?

[Elsie]

It just points out how much harder it is working from copies of copies of copies, even without betng translated from the language of the original documents.

At least Judism and Christianity actually HAVE these 'copies of copies of copies' to SHOW they were not 'translations of translations of translations'.

We can thank GOD thank a lot of the old doubts were cast away by finding the Dead Sea scrolls; and how comparing these REALLY old documents with the newest copies available showed that theywere pretty much exactly the same!

[Elsie]

Hi Elsie, long time no see.

Where YOU been?

I'm on FR every day; wasting Jim's bandwidth and killin' off them electrons.

Are you doing well?

Compared to what?

I'm getting older (like all of us are) and having to deal with the physical changes in myself.

[Elsie]

Elsie, you didn’t tell us how even you can choose or not choose to accept all the laws and ordinances in the after life when a living, loving person does the work for you.

That's because such a concept is not biblical.

Perhaps YOU can show the folks here just where this is found in The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Laterday Saints scriptures.

[Elsie]

Just so I know how much weight to give the teachings of “Pure Bible Search”, why do you believe thay have the right to tell you what God the father and Jesus the Christ are teaching us in the Bible?

Ah; it appears we are going to be taking up the old 'authority' question today.

I'd better eat breakfast early!

[Elsie]

Perhaps YOU can show the folks here just where this is found in The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Laterday Saints scriptures.

But; this may be hard to do.

Try instead the LATTER day ones :^)

[Norski]

Dear FRiend:

Please do not study what I have said, or what a piece of software has said. Please study your Bible, to see what the Word of God has said about itself. Did you know that Jesus is also called the Word?

Look at Revelation 22:18. . . It’s almost the last verse of the Bible. . .

Purebiblesearch.com is a Bible search software. That is all. It is a research assistance tool.

It is akin to a Strong’s Concordance, just in software form. Or, for that matter, the concordance at the back of almost every Bible. There are many Bible search softwares. This particular one also includes a dictionary and thesaurus.

One might input a word, a phrase, a subject, etc, and then search. Search parameters may be expanded or contracted. It is quicker than for me than using Strong’s in book form (at this time).

Then one goes to the Bible to read the search parameter’s chapters or verses. It is convenient to read the Bible on a large screen at the same time; I also keep my old Bible handy because the printed word is important, and cannot be compromised as easily as software . . .

You may wish to read the books of John and Isaiah completely, when you have time. John because it contains so much of what Jesus said about Himself, and Isaiah because the Book of Mormon contains whole chapters lifted from it.