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Mormons Launch Sacred Underwear Store 'Brigham's Secret'
The Babylon Bee ^ | August 9, 2019 | Staff

Posted on 08/14/2019 12:57:44 AM PDT by Norski

SALT LAKE CITY, UT—A specialty underwear shop targeting Mormons has opened in Salt Lake City's Temple Square. If the venture is successful, "Brigham's Secret" stores will become a reality in malls and shopping centers all over the country.

The store allows men and women to shop for various temple undergarments, which are designed to offer both maximum comfort and be a constant reminder of the covenants made with God in the temple.

Coming in multiple colors, types of material, and various different cuts, the luxury temple garments will allow Latter-Day Saints to look their very best while going about their daily lives, as well as participating in special temple ceremonies like being baptized in place of dead relatives.

"For the special one to fifty-five different ladies in your life," the tagline on the store window reads. "Show her you care with luxurious, comfortable temple garments straight from Brigham's underwear drawer to yours."


TOPICS: Ecumenism; Humor; Other non-Christian; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: mormon; satire; underwear
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Oy.
1 posted on 08/14/2019 12:57:44 AM PDT by Norski
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To: Elsie
Being as that catholic guy thought you are a Mormon, I thought this might interest you. 😁🤣👍
2 posted on 08/14/2019 1:03:16 AM PDT by Mark17 (Master Sgt, US Air Force, retired. Air traffic controller. Father of US Air Force 2nd Lieutenant)
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To: Norski

Ping


3 posted on 08/14/2019 1:17:22 AM PDT by fproy2222 (MAGA)
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To: Norski

Weird.


4 posted on 08/14/2019 1:30:10 AM PDT by Amberdawn
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To: Norski

So only the Mormon men wear this special underwear? What do their woman wear?


5 posted on 08/14/2019 3:01:07 AM PDT by HighSierra5
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To: HighSierra5

Burlap granny panties.


6 posted on 08/14/2019 3:08:36 AM PDT by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget (TRUMP TRAIN !!! Get the hell out of the way if you are not on yet because we don't stop for idiots)
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To: HighSierra5

“only the Mormon men wear this special underwear?”

I guess women do, too. In the ‘70s I was in my Mormon girlfriend’s wedding. We made our own dresses, and had to cut the necklines higher than the pattern because her mother was Maiden Of Honor, and her undies would show otherwise.


7 posted on 08/14/2019 3:15:23 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam ("The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly." A. Lincoln)
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To: MayflowerMadam

SEXY!~!~11!!


8 posted on 08/14/2019 3:33:49 AM PDT by LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget (TRUMP TRAIN !!! Get the hell out of the way if you are not on yet because we don't stop for idiots)
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To: LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget

Like carpet showers, “that’s not right”. Pretty awful.


9 posted on 08/14/2019 3:50:08 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam ("The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly." A. Lincoln)
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To: MayflowerMadam
We use the wearing of Temple Garments as a reminder of our responsibles. You may not believe the same as I do, but I pray that you believe being responsible is a good idea.
10 posted on 08/14/2019 4:04:28 AM PDT by fproy2222 (MAGA)
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To: LesbianThespianGymnasticMidget

Boy, those underwear look hot! I mean like really hot...in the summer!


11 posted on 08/14/2019 4:27:08 AM PDT by HighSierra5
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To: Norski; teppe; Normandy
Coming in multiple colors, types of material, and various different cuts, the luxury temple garments will allow Latter-Day Saints to look their very best while going about their daily lives, as well as participating in special temple ceremonies like being baptized in place of dead relatives.

Ah; the never changing gods and their ever changing styles...


 
 
 
 
http://www.ldsliving.com/Church-Discontinuing-Making-Changes-to-Garment-Styles/s/85806
 
http://www.ldsliving.com/Church-Offers-New-Stretch-Cotton-Garments-for-Men/s/90845/?utm_source=ldsliving&utm_medium=sidebar&utm_campaign=related
 
 
I think the Book of Mormon may have more instructions on how and where to actually wear the garment(s).

12 posted on 08/14/2019 4:50:11 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: fproy2222
You may not believe the same as I do, but I pray that you believe being responsible is a good idea.

Responsibilites are good.

Perhaps you could educate non-Mormon folks where these responsibilities are found in Mormon Scripture.

13 posted on 08/14/2019 4:53:04 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Norski
Oy indeed!

That Babylon Bee is such a kidder!!

I should Google® to see if the lawsuit from The Onion has gone to trial yet.

14 posted on 08/14/2019 4:58:25 AM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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To: Elsie
Exodus 20 is a good start.

I think that, “ The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is a good overview of our responsibilities to our families.
It is a long read, but since we are all of Adam and Eve's descendants , we are all family.

15 posted on 08/14/2019 6:13:15 AM PDT by fproy2222 (MAGA)
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To: Elsie

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, l.p., repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng


16 posted on 08/14/2019 6:14:26 AM PDT by fproy2222 (MAGA)
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To: fproy2222

“We use the wearing of Temple Garments as a reminder of our responsibles. You may not believe the same as I do, but I pray that you believe being responsible is a good idea.”

Of course. All religions have their unique things. God Bless America for the freedom to worship as we please. “Personal soul liberty” is one of the main tenets of Baptists, and we respect the choices of others. (A lot of Baptists have forgotten that, but it’s a big deal.)


17 posted on 08/14/2019 6:21:34 AM PDT by MayflowerMadam ("The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly." A. Lincoln)
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To: fproy2222

Yes.


18 posted on 08/14/2019 1:55:19 PM PDT by Norski
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To: Amberdawn

When I was an adolescent, most of the Mormons I knew did not drink, smoke, or take drugs. But they were allowed to swing dance. They were excellent dancers.


19 posted on 08/14/2019 2:04:24 PM PDT by Norski
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To: MayflowerMadam
...and we respect the choices of others.

ALL of them? ;^)

20 posted on 08/14/2019 6:36:23 PM PDT by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
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