Real Catholics, Warts and All

CatholicExchange.com ^ | 05-19-05 | Heidi Hess Saxton

[Salvation]

by Heidi Hess Saxton

Other Articles by Heidi Hess Saxton

Real Catholics, Warts and All

05/19/05

In 1988, contemporary recording artist John Fischer launched his bestseller Real Christians (Don’t) Dance, an unabashed manifesto of those who refuse to put form ahead of substance, and charity above all.

After ten years spent in various Catholic parishes and groups, I’ve discovered that much of what Fischer says about Evangelical Protestants applies equally as well to Catholics: There are Pharisees on both sides of the great ecclesial divide, who (as Jesus observed) are excruciatingly attentive to detail, yet never think to welcome the stranger in the next pew. “Woe to you Pharisees!... For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers” (Lk 12:42-46).

In the great dance of the liturgy, for every hundred Catholics just trying to get their families through the hour without resorting to violence, one or two scribble notes for their weekly “watchdog” letter to the bishop: So-and-so botched a line here. Thus-and-such hymn, clearly labeled “Christmas,” was used during Advent. Worst of all, the priest continues to encourage his flock to hold hands during the “Our Father.” (They, of course, observe “proper form”: pointedly ignoring any outstretched hand and scowling at anyone who tries to touch them before the “sign of peace.”)

Some time ago I overheard a popular apologist sneeringly denounce anyone who thinks evangelization involves “being nice to people.” In his mind, it seems, the true evangelist is one who has the last word, wins the most points in a doctrinal verbal sparring match, or “goes in for the kill” against his (usually Protestant) opponent. Isn’t that what Jesus said: “Thus will all men know you are my disciples: If you can wrestle an estranged brother to the ground, hog-tie him, and drag him into the Church.”

No, I guess not.

Ironically, as I made my way to the fullness of the faith, it was not professional apologists or “serious” Catholics who gave me the warmest welcome (though they did produce the bulk of tapes and books that provided my initial faith formation). No, my “family of faith” album includes:

• A chain-smoking, martini-swilling mother of one high-school friend, who could never articulate her faith to my satisfaction. However, when a car accident put me in the hospital me for over a month, she figured out how to give me a bed bath and wash my hair. “I know what it feels like not to be able to touch my toes,” she told me. “Love one another, Jesus said — isn’t that what it’s all about?”

• A college friend, whom I met at a frat party just before I flunked out of engineering school. Three years later, when I went on a mission trip to Senegal, she was one of my most faithful supporters. (Initially my conscience prickled over accepting money from someone who “still needed to be saved,” but pragmatism won out.) Janice continued to correspond with me, and showed admirable grace when I confessed that I had once considered her an “unbeliever.”

• A young man who treated me with greater respect and courtesy than any of my previous “real Christian” beaus. When he proposed marriage, I refused him: I didn’t want to be “unequally yoked” with a Catholic.

• My second RCIA sponsor (the first one quit because I asked too many questions) is an enthusiastic advocate for women’s ordination. We have spirited discussions about points of Church teaching (with me taking the “conservative” position). However, I will always owe her a special debt of gratitude: At the time I most needed someone to walk with me, she welcomed me into her family.

In a visit to Mexico in 1999, the Holy Father proclaimed the nature of the “new evangelization” to which all Catholics are called, a task requiring not only a clear head, but a compassionate heart:

The new evangelization will be a seed of hope for the new millennium if you, today's Catholics, make the effort to transmit to future generations the precious legacy of human and Christian values which have given meaning to your life…. It is your role to ensure that the new generations receive a sound Christian formation during their intellectual and cultural training, to prevent the powerful progress from closing them to the transcendent. Lastly, always present yourselves as tireless promoters of dialogue and peace in the face of the predominance of might over right, and of indifference to the tragedies of hunger and disease afflicting large numbers of the population.

And so, I’d like to offer a few observations, for whatever they are worth, about the “Real Catholics” I’ve come to know and love.

• Real Catholics may not know where a particular verse is found, but they know where to find the Body and Blood of the Lord, to strengthen and sustain them.

• Real Catholics may not know how to pray a Rosary unaided, but they can be counted upon to bring over a meal to a bedridden neighbor.

• Real Catholics may resort to Cheerios and sippy cups for their toddlers at Mass, but their prayers for patience are indisputably sincere.

• Real Catholics may not win every Thanksgiving Day debate with their zealous brother-in-law, but are confident that the answers are there for the finding.

• Real Catholics occasionally grumble when Mass gets a bit long, and occasionally miss the first reading, but they know that, no matter how crazy life gets, that hour gives them what they need to get through the rest of the week.

• Real Catholics don’t always remember to genuflect toward the tabernacle when they enter the church, but they live each day humbly trying to embody the Gospel message for those who will never read the Book.

Lord, give me patience with the snippy, compassion toward the needy, and charity toward all. In my journey toward the heavenly Kingdom, let me never forget how far You had to go to get me on the right path. Amen.

© Copyright 2005 Catholic Exchange


Raised in the Evangelical Protestant tradition, Heidi Saxton was confirmed Catholic in 1993. She is the author of With Mary in Prayer (Loyola) and is a graduate student (theology) at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, Michigan. You may contact Heidi at hsaxton@christianword.com.

[old and tired]

Salvation, I'm sorry this thread got turned into a Pharisee/Handholder mess.

We had a non-religious Jewish neighbor, whose daughter was pregnant with a Down Syndrome baby. Her daughter wanted to terminate. But our neighbor loved her unborn grandson and wanted to see him born. We didn't know her very well, but she obviously knew our adult son who lives with us has Downs, so she came over one day in tears and begged my wife to speak to her daughter.

Long story short, the baby was born and is the light of his parents' (and his grandmom's)life.

This non-religious Jewish woman's respect for life is often missing even among daily Mass attendees.

[johnb838]

YEah, somebody tried to shake my hand before the service the other day, and I said "I thought we didn't have to get into that business until the peace."

It's nothing personal, you just don't know where those hands have been, and I only bring one waterless cleaner packet to mass with me a week. Maybe I should bring more, I don't know.

[HowlinglyMind-BendingAbsurdity]

Thanks. We agree. The ideas behind this seem to come from Third Force psychology (touchy-feely psychobabble). It's a given that if you are showing up for Mass and have a genuine faith in Jesus, you love and care about your neighbor. Touching someone in affection or even shaking hands are things which have to be VOLUNTARY and spontaneous in order to be genuine.

Considering what has been going on with the Rainbow Sash crowd, the gender bending, and the sex molestation scandals, it seems entirely inappropriate to try to force people to touch one another at Mass. I find the pyschobabbleization of Catholicism to be ridiculous. It should stop.

Here's an example. I was at Mass one Sunday and when I turned around to give the "sign of peace" there was a prominent "Catholic" liberal Democrat politician in the pew RIGHT behind me. I didn't want to "shake hands" with this person because he is well-known for giving aid and comfort to the pro-abortion agenda in American politics. It was VERY awkward and I felt ill, nauseated, and like I wanted to throw up. It really ruined the mood of the Mass for me. It made me very angry that I was forced to be in the situation where I had to shake hands with a pro-abortion maniac or look rude. And it put me into a state which was an undesirable disposition for being at Mass and preparing to receive Holy Communion.

I have a suggestion for priests and bishops: Get rid of the sign of peace or kick the pro-abortion politicians out of the Church.

[tiki]

Yes, I was surprised at some of the replies.

[johnb838]

I too have seen the nit-picking mostly in people who seem excessively scrupulous, and extraordinarily busy in parish life, than in people who are just there for mass and then out the door.

[jo kus]

"The primary "community" I'm responsible for right now is my family, though, and trying to turn my 4 kids (ages 3-14)into Godly adults is my number-one priority. When they're grown, I'll have a bit more time and freedom."

Well said.

Regards

[Romish_Papist]

I'm happy for the blessings you received, but what does that have to do with Catholics who do not practice their faith as they are supposed to?

[siunevada]

Who are the "Real Catholics, Warts and All" who have influenced your lives?

First, among many, my mother; who would be hard pressed to articulate any article of the faith and finds it extremely difficult to believe in Jesus in the Eucharist yet still believes; who, unknown to me, continued to pray I would return to the Church for decades after it was obvious I had lapsed and gentle urging would not bring me back.

[Salvation]

And their replies are valid also.

A Real Catholic attends at Mass in a reverent manner and follows the commandments (about talking in Church -- keeping God first.)

[saradippity]

I have usually managed to avoid the "introduce yourself to your neighbor" by waiting in back until after this takes place.

On a few occasions when I went in early to pray,I have just said,"I am a Catholic,here to worship and pray to God". The responses were interesting and polite. They ranged from:"me too" to "Gee,I'm going to think about that".

[saradippity]

Now that did bring rears to my eyes. What a beautiful little real life story. Thanks.

[Talking_Mouse]

bookmark til later

[Dumb_Ox]

I see a lot of this misdirected scrupulosity even among those "committed to the poor." They're the folks who work in soup kitchens, hand out sandwiches, and everything. But they won't give a few bucks to a bum on the street who personally asks for it. They worry that he'll get drunk on it, or some such thing. But they sure don't have such qualms against, say, giving a drug-addled star money for his movie or music. For the life of me, I can't figure out why homeless alchoholics are less worthy of our money than the famous ones.

[sinkspur]

For the life of me, I can't figure out why homeless alchoholics are less worthy of our money than the famous ones.

I'm one who will not give money to panhandlers. It's a habit I learned years ago when working in a downtown church. The police told us to give them peanut butter sandwiches. Nourishing and filling.

I've offered to take these guys to a hamburger shop and buy them a burger.

Only one ever took me up on it.

Should we encourage homeless alcoholics to keep drinking by giving them money?

[Lilllabettt]

Its my habit never to refuse a neighbor's extended hand, so avoiding the situation is a high priority. But there are times when it can't be avoided.

My charitable solution for the "hand-hold" threat: After the Great Amen, just before the priest says "let us pray with confidence to the Father in the words our Saviour gave us," drop your head, close your eyes, and clasp your hands in the traditional way.

Very few people will interupt you in order to make you hold hands. And if they do, pretend not to notice :)

[franky]

###"As far as greeting the person in the pew next to me, I greet people after Mass. While in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, our focus should be on Jesus, not on social interaction with our neighbor."####

Complete agreement. There are people in the pews who are socializing when they get in Church, during and after Mass. The noise level is terrible. By the time I get out of Mass I know the best sales available at the local K-Mart.

I only greet those who greet me. There are those who are stll climbing over pews to get to the third aisle while the priest is dividing the Euharist for his own reception.

Partial answer by Father Edward McNamara, professor of liturgy at the Regina Apostolorum Pontifical Athenaeum on holding hands.

"While there are no directions as to the posture of the faithful, the rubrics clearly direct the priest and any concelebrants to pray the Our Father with hands extended — so they at least should not hold hands.

One could argue that holding hands expresses the family union of the Church. But our singing or reciting the prayer in unison already expresses this element.

The use of this practice during the Our Father could detract and distract from the prayer's God-directed sense of adoration and petition, as explained in Nos. 2777-2865 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, in favor of a more horizontal and merely human meaning."

[GenXFreedomFighter]

...drop your head, close your eyes, and clasp your hands in the traditional way.

Very few people will interupt you in order to make you hold hands.

Wanna bet? I've been tapped on the hand or the shoulder several times by someone wanting to hold hands while assuming that same posture. One lady forcefully grabbed my hand once when I indicated I didn't want to do it. I can't figure out why the hand-holders are so darned insistent on that.