Real Catholics, Warts and All

CatholicExchange.com ^ | 05-19-05 | Heidi Hess Saxton

[Salvation]

by Heidi Hess Saxton

Other Articles by Heidi Hess Saxton

Real Catholics, Warts and All

05/19/05

In 1988, contemporary recording artist John Fischer launched his bestseller Real Christians (Don’t) Dance, an unabashed manifesto of those who refuse to put form ahead of substance, and charity above all.

After ten years spent in various Catholic parishes and groups, I’ve discovered that much of what Fischer says about Evangelical Protestants applies equally as well to Catholics: There are Pharisees on both sides of the great ecclesial divide, who (as Jesus observed) are excruciatingly attentive to detail, yet never think to welcome the stranger in the next pew. “Woe to you Pharisees!... For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers” (Lk 12:42-46).

In the great dance of the liturgy, for every hundred Catholics just trying to get their families through the hour without resorting to violence, one or two scribble notes for their weekly “watchdog” letter to the bishop: So-and-so botched a line here. Thus-and-such hymn, clearly labeled “Christmas,” was used during Advent. Worst of all, the priest continues to encourage his flock to hold hands during the “Our Father.” (They, of course, observe “proper form”: pointedly ignoring any outstretched hand and scowling at anyone who tries to touch them before the “sign of peace.”)

Some time ago I overheard a popular apologist sneeringly denounce anyone who thinks evangelization involves “being nice to people.” In his mind, it seems, the true evangelist is one who has the last word, wins the most points in a doctrinal verbal sparring match, or “goes in for the kill” against his (usually Protestant) opponent. Isn’t that what Jesus said: “Thus will all men know you are my disciples: If you can wrestle an estranged brother to the ground, hog-tie him, and drag him into the Church.”

No, I guess not.

Ironically, as I made my way to the fullness of the faith, it was not professional apologists or “serious” Catholics who gave me the warmest welcome (though they did produce the bulk of tapes and books that provided my initial faith formation). No, my “family of faith” album includes:

• A chain-smoking, martini-swilling mother of one high-school friend, who could never articulate her faith to my satisfaction. However, when a car accident put me in the hospital me for over a month, she figured out how to give me a bed bath and wash my hair. “I know what it feels like not to be able to touch my toes,” she told me. “Love one another, Jesus said — isn’t that what it’s all about?”

• A college friend, whom I met at a frat party just before I flunked out of engineering school. Three years later, when I went on a mission trip to Senegal, she was one of my most faithful supporters. (Initially my conscience prickled over accepting money from someone who “still needed to be saved,” but pragmatism won out.) Janice continued to correspond with me, and showed admirable grace when I confessed that I had once considered her an “unbeliever.”

• A young man who treated me with greater respect and courtesy than any of my previous “real Christian” beaus. When he proposed marriage, I refused him: I didn’t want to be “unequally yoked” with a Catholic.

• My second RCIA sponsor (the first one quit because I asked too many questions) is an enthusiastic advocate for women’s ordination. We have spirited discussions about points of Church teaching (with me taking the “conservative” position). However, I will always owe her a special debt of gratitude: At the time I most needed someone to walk with me, she welcomed me into her family.

In a visit to Mexico in 1999, the Holy Father proclaimed the nature of the “new evangelization” to which all Catholics are called, a task requiring not only a clear head, but a compassionate heart:

The new evangelization will be a seed of hope for the new millennium if you, today's Catholics, make the effort to transmit to future generations the precious legacy of human and Christian values which have given meaning to your life…. It is your role to ensure that the new generations receive a sound Christian formation during their intellectual and cultural training, to prevent the powerful progress from closing them to the transcendent. Lastly, always present yourselves as tireless promoters of dialogue and peace in the face of the predominance of might over right, and of indifference to the tragedies of hunger and disease afflicting large numbers of the population.

And so, I’d like to offer a few observations, for whatever they are worth, about the “Real Catholics” I’ve come to know and love.

• Real Catholics may not know where a particular verse is found, but they know where to find the Body and Blood of the Lord, to strengthen and sustain them.

• Real Catholics may not know how to pray a Rosary unaided, but they can be counted upon to bring over a meal to a bedridden neighbor.

• Real Catholics may resort to Cheerios and sippy cups for their toddlers at Mass, but their prayers for patience are indisputably sincere.

• Real Catholics may not win every Thanksgiving Day debate with their zealous brother-in-law, but are confident that the answers are there for the finding.

• Real Catholics occasionally grumble when Mass gets a bit long, and occasionally miss the first reading, but they know that, no matter how crazy life gets, that hour gives them what they need to get through the rest of the week.

• Real Catholics don’t always remember to genuflect toward the tabernacle when they enter the church, but they live each day humbly trying to embody the Gospel message for those who will never read the Book.

Lord, give me patience with the snippy, compassion toward the needy, and charity toward all. In my journey toward the heavenly Kingdom, let me never forget how far You had to go to get me on the right path. Amen.

© Copyright 2005 Catholic Exchange


Raised in the Evangelical Protestant tradition, Heidi Saxton was confirmed Catholic in 1993. She is the author of With Mary in Prayer (Loyola) and is a graduate student (theology) at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, Michigan. You may contact Heidi at hsaxton@christianword.com.

[sinkspur]

Does "martini swilling" not seem to you like frequent excessive consumption of alcohol?

No, it doesn't.

But notice that Christ didn't ask the apostles which one is the real Jew, the Samaritan or the Pharisees, but rather, which one is the real NEIGHBOR.

Precisely. And Samaritans were looked down on by the Pharisees, which is why Jesus chose a Samaritan to make his point.

[dsc]

"I guess my bottom-line objection to the article is that it confuses affection and social courtesy with charity. Charity is always appropriate; affection and socializing sometimes are, and sometimes aren't."

Late to the party, but I just wanted to sign on to that.

The focus of the Mass is supposed to be Our Lord, not what a bunch of truly wonderful people we are.

To my way of thinking, you can spot a Philistine by his sore shoulders: from patting himself on the back. Holding hands and effusive posturing during the "sign of peace" seem to be a part of that.

[sneakers]

Completely agree with your post #28! The time before mass should be a quiet time of reflection and personal preparation.
It should be spent in solemn contemplation that one is in the Presence of Our Lord Himself! It is not a time to socialize with the people around you. There is a time and place for that. The socializing should be left at the church door.

By the same token, during the Mass, all attention, all focus, should be on Christ in the Eucharist and Christ in the Word. When I say the Lord's prayer, I prefer to bow my head and place my hands together. Thank goodness very few people in our church choose to hold hands during the Lord's Prayer - or raise them in the air, etc. - so it is not an issue.

I would rather dispense with the hand-shaking and hand-holding. It's all "I,I,I, me, me, me, us, us, us!" It should be ALL ABOUT Christ!

[tiki]

In my journey it was the woman who talked too much and too loud, who is a hypochondriac. She never fails to give me a hug, tuck my tag back into my blouse and bring me little faith gifts. She does all the work of the Altar Society, makes hundreds of gifts for the nursing homes for holidays. She's the Sacristan at Sat Mass and everything always runs smoothly. She really is wonderful.

[murphE]

My unwillingness to grab a stranger's hand at the Our Father has nothing to do with "not liking them" or "not being a nice person"

Mine does. =D

Just kidding, someone had to say it. I'll hold your hand and pray the Our Father anytime...just not during mass (or if you have warts).

A concern for liturgical propriety doesn't really exist in tension with the authentic virtue of charity.

Exactly. Sentimentality does not equal charity.

[Dumb_Ox]

Because it's usually the nitpickers who are nowhere to be found when the parish picnic is being organized, or the sick need to be visited by someone who has a little time to spend with these lonely souls.

I thought that apathy was a general human failing. Seriously, what's nitpicking got to do with this? It could be a sign of misdirected scrupulosity as much as apathy.

[sinkspur]

It could be a sign of misdirected scrupulosity as much as apathy.

Of course, but I'm glad you said it instead of me.

[sassbox]

as many others have noted, this article seems to imply that if a Catholic is very concerned with liturgical purity, respecting the Blessed Sacrament, and knowing alot about his or her faith than this Catholic cannot be charitable and is a Pharisee. This is, of course, nonsense and rather pharisitical in its own right.

In my personal experience the most charitable and holy people I've met were all orthodox Catholics. Yet unlike some self-proclaimed orthodox Catholics, they did not make a big fuss out of it. I never heard them complaining about people holding hands during the Our Father, about people forgetting to genuflect towards the tabernacle, liturgical abuses, heretical priests, nuns, and bishops. They certainly didn't condone any of these things, far from it, but they also didn't let these problems define their faith lives.

On the other hand, I've known many people who always seemed PO'd about something going on in the Church. They were the "auditors" at Mass, watching like hawks for the slightest imperfections on the part of the priest and other parishoners. They loved to get into fights about apologetics, they loved to call others heretics, apostates, sinners, etc. Privately, few of these folks were very nice; most were insufferable. Self-righteous, condescending, greedy, misogynistic, combative, and above all ARROGANT. I saw very little love in these people, except for themselves.

Basically, being orthodox doesn't make a person a jerk. But there are alot of jerks out there who use the cloak of orthodoxy to satisfy their own egos. For them being orthodox isn't something one does out of love for Christ, it's something one does so one can feel superior to other people.

[Salvation]

**Just goes to show, that some of the Catholics who help us have already gone on to their reward and are trying to help the rest of us along the way.**

Very true. I think it was St. Francis of Asissi for me.

And the Beatitiudes.

[Salvation]

It sounds like you are taking this article as being a proponent of being a cafeteria Catholic.

I guess I didn't take it that way.....I just tuned into the spiritual and corporal works of mercy that we can perform and that others have performed (perhaps unknowingly on our behalf).

There is room enough for both discussions (without judging).

[Salvation]

** I finally found a church with a great priest who gives me all that.**

It sounds like your church could be bursting at the seams. The works of mercy that you are involved with are fantastic. We also are helping with a Habitat House this fall. First time for our parish since I've been there. -- 14 years now.

You are aware, aren't you that the GIRM stipulates that the Our Father is a vertical prayer from each person to God, the Father. It is not a community prayer. Just don't join hands with anyone. We had a coupld who would extend their hands straight out in front of them and not hold hands. The people around them accepted it fine.

[Salvation]

What a wonderful story!

[Salvation]

Alcoholism is a sickness.

And if a high horse means arrogance -- what about that being a sin.

Lighten up, please.

[Salvation]

Good reference about the Good Samaritan. Something we all need to remember when we start judging other's actions.

[Salvation]

In the article it was the lady who drank martinis who helped out this person when they were going through their teen years.

Would you judge someone who smoked, but listened to you or played pool with you during your teen years a sinner like you seem to be judging this woman?

[Salvation]

**Neither ought we tell Protestants that they're Catholic. Even if they're swell people and you're pretty sure that a just and merciful God will save them anyway. **

It was Protestants that brought my son back to the church. I will be forever grateful to them for setting him back on the road to God.

[GenXFreedomFighter]

It sounds like your church could be bursting at the seams.

It certainly is. We have chairs for overflow which often still aren't enough.

We also are helping with a Habitat House this fall. First time for our parish since I've been there. -- 14 years now.

Great! It's such a fulfilling thing to do.

You are aware, aren't you that the GIRM stipulates that the Our Father is a vertical prayer from each person to God, the Father. It is not a community prayer.

I don't have a copy of the GIRM, but that sounds familiar. I wish more people were aware of it.

[Salvation]

There are definitely two different takes on this article aren't there?

[Salvation]

**Sentimentality does not equal charity.**

When you hold your husband's hand and say that last prayer togoether they are totally equal. Unless you have experienced it, no one can really judge. I speak from my own experience as I held my husband's hand and sang to ohim as he died.