Real Catholics, Warts and All

CatholicExchange.com ^ | 05-19-05 | Heidi Hess Saxton

[Salvation]

by Heidi Hess Saxton

Other Articles by Heidi Hess Saxton

Real Catholics, Warts and All

05/19/05

In 1988, contemporary recording artist John Fischer launched his bestseller Real Christians (Don’t) Dance, an unabashed manifesto of those who refuse to put form ahead of substance, and charity above all.

After ten years spent in various Catholic parishes and groups, I’ve discovered that much of what Fischer says about Evangelical Protestants applies equally as well to Catholics: There are Pharisees on both sides of the great ecclesial divide, who (as Jesus observed) are excruciatingly attentive to detail, yet never think to welcome the stranger in the next pew. “Woe to you Pharisees!... For you load men with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers” (Lk 12:42-46).

In the great dance of the liturgy, for every hundred Catholics just trying to get their families through the hour without resorting to violence, one or two scribble notes for their weekly “watchdog” letter to the bishop: So-and-so botched a line here. Thus-and-such hymn, clearly labeled “Christmas,” was used during Advent. Worst of all, the priest continues to encourage his flock to hold hands during the “Our Father.” (They, of course, observe “proper form”: pointedly ignoring any outstretched hand and scowling at anyone who tries to touch them before the “sign of peace.”)

Some time ago I overheard a popular apologist sneeringly denounce anyone who thinks evangelization involves “being nice to people.” In his mind, it seems, the true evangelist is one who has the last word, wins the most points in a doctrinal verbal sparring match, or “goes in for the kill” against his (usually Protestant) opponent. Isn’t that what Jesus said: “Thus will all men know you are my disciples: If you can wrestle an estranged brother to the ground, hog-tie him, and drag him into the Church.”

No, I guess not.

Ironically, as I made my way to the fullness of the faith, it was not professional apologists or “serious” Catholics who gave me the warmest welcome (though they did produce the bulk of tapes and books that provided my initial faith formation). No, my “family of faith” album includes:

• A chain-smoking, martini-swilling mother of one high-school friend, who could never articulate her faith to my satisfaction. However, when a car accident put me in the hospital me for over a month, she figured out how to give me a bed bath and wash my hair. “I know what it feels like not to be able to touch my toes,” she told me. “Love one another, Jesus said — isn’t that what it’s all about?”

• A college friend, whom I met at a frat party just before I flunked out of engineering school. Three years later, when I went on a mission trip to Senegal, she was one of my most faithful supporters. (Initially my conscience prickled over accepting money from someone who “still needed to be saved,” but pragmatism won out.) Janice continued to correspond with me, and showed admirable grace when I confessed that I had once considered her an “unbeliever.”

• A young man who treated me with greater respect and courtesy than any of my previous “real Christian” beaus. When he proposed marriage, I refused him: I didn’t want to be “unequally yoked” with a Catholic.

• My second RCIA sponsor (the first one quit because I asked too many questions) is an enthusiastic advocate for women’s ordination. We have spirited discussions about points of Church teaching (with me taking the “conservative” position). However, I will always owe her a special debt of gratitude: At the time I most needed someone to walk with me, she welcomed me into her family.

In a visit to Mexico in 1999, the Holy Father proclaimed the nature of the “new evangelization” to which all Catholics are called, a task requiring not only a clear head, but a compassionate heart:

The new evangelization will be a seed of hope for the new millennium if you, today's Catholics, make the effort to transmit to future generations the precious legacy of human and Christian values which have given meaning to your life…. It is your role to ensure that the new generations receive a sound Christian formation during their intellectual and cultural training, to prevent the powerful progress from closing them to the transcendent. Lastly, always present yourselves as tireless promoters of dialogue and peace in the face of the predominance of might over right, and of indifference to the tragedies of hunger and disease afflicting large numbers of the population.

And so, I’d like to offer a few observations, for whatever they are worth, about the “Real Catholics” I’ve come to know and love.

• Real Catholics may not know where a particular verse is found, but they know where to find the Body and Blood of the Lord, to strengthen and sustain them.

• Real Catholics may not know how to pray a Rosary unaided, but they can be counted upon to bring over a meal to a bedridden neighbor.

• Real Catholics may resort to Cheerios and sippy cups for their toddlers at Mass, but their prayers for patience are indisputably sincere.

• Real Catholics may not win every Thanksgiving Day debate with their zealous brother-in-law, but are confident that the answers are there for the finding.

• Real Catholics occasionally grumble when Mass gets a bit long, and occasionally miss the first reading, but they know that, no matter how crazy life gets, that hour gives them what they need to get through the rest of the week.

• Real Catholics don’t always remember to genuflect toward the tabernacle when they enter the church, but they live each day humbly trying to embody the Gospel message for those who will never read the Book.

Lord, give me patience with the snippy, compassion toward the needy, and charity toward all. In my journey toward the heavenly Kingdom, let me never forget how far You had to go to get me on the right path. Amen.

© Copyright 2005 Catholic Exchange


Raised in the Evangelical Protestant tradition, Heidi Saxton was confirmed Catholic in 1993. She is the author of With Mary in Prayer (Loyola) and is a graduate student (theology) at Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, Michigan. You may contact Heidi at hsaxton@christianword.com.

[Campion]

So how do you reach out to others in your community in addition to chatting with them after church?

I've led apologetics presentations for high school kids and grownups, if that counts.

The primary "community" I'm responsible for right now is my family, though, and trying to turn my 4 kids (ages 3-14)into Godly adults is my number-one priority. When they're grown, I'll have a bit more time and freedom.

Do you lead a Bible study or a faith-sharing group?

Given some of my experiences with some of the ones I've been to ... let's just say some of them are more like "heresy-sharing groups". :-( But the kind of priests who respect my views enough to want me to lead those sorts of things generally are the kind who go the extra 10 miles or so and do it themselves.

[Salvation]

Thanks for being a Real Catholic to those high schoolers!

[Salvation]

And I bet you put your faith into practice by being a real Catholic to others too.

[AmericanArchConservative]

bump!

[Knitting A Conundrum]

I was into wicca and buddhism, but began to feel called back to Jesus (after being raised in one of the Restoration Movement churches). I had a number of people that were there for me at the right time...especially one friend who took me to Mass the first time (I was very shy about entering a Catholic church for some reason)...I have tried to return the favor by helping to get a few friends back into the church, and got my hubby, who was raised Catholic back, too.

If I get wavery, I think of St. Perpetua. For some reason, thinking about her martyrdom "guilts" me back into good sense! I think for some reason, she intercedes for me.

Just goes to show, that some of the Catholics who help us have already gone on to their reward and are trying to help the rest of us along the way.

[GenXFreedomFighter]

Some friends and I touched on this subject after Bible study last night.

I agree with Campion and Mershon on this issue. I do not care for holding hands during the Our Father, or the invitations to greet those sitting around you before Mass that I've seen at some churches. I feel that it is phony affection (not charity) shown to complete strangers, and it detracts from the reverence toward and focus on the Blessed Sacrament that characterized the Church I grew up in. I just feel silly doing it, and it makes me uncomfortable when someone sitting across the pew approaches me to hold hands or taps me while I'm standing there eyes closed, head bowed, and hands folded. If it's just an act to show community (isn't being together in the presence of the Lord enough?), then why are some people so insistent about it?

I spent many years disconnected from the Church, in part because of youthful rebellion (do you really have to believe in all that and live that way to go to heaven?). It was also partly because those times when I considered going back, I could not find a church that held the reverence that I witnessed as a child. I also noticed that I never heard the hard preaching that I had always felt was missing. I knew the Church was supposedly opposed to abortion and sexual immorality, but I never heard it from the pulpit! I finally found a church with a great priest who gives me all that. And I'm never pressured to hold hands with someone I hardly know, or don't know at all. I feel liberated to join my prayers with the priest for peaceful intentions, and for an acceptable and holy sacrifice. I don't have to worry about how long to hold someone's hand, or what pressure with which to hold it. I also don't worry about offending someone with my own sweaty hand. I have to go out of town for it, but I wouldn't consider going elsewhere. I've been a member nearly four years. If I hadn't found that church, I might still be lost.

However, I am no Pharisee. With my young adults group, I volunteer monthly at the local downtown Catholic Action Center preparing meals for the hungry, bi-monthly with a furniture bank, and spend a few Saturdays each fall helping to build one of Habitat houses that my diocese sponsors. I am also always donating money for this cause or that. Desire for tradition, moral teaching, and connection with the ancient Church certainly does not harden one against Christian charity! I have only grown stronger in charity as a result my search for orthodoxy.

[Romish_Papist]

Thank you for saying in post 14 what I have been unable to put into words.

[sinkspur]

This author seems to think following the Church's law is worthy of ridicule.

Where is that in evidence?

Really. HOW DARE YOU.

Get off your high horse toward Salvation. And where are you getting mortal sin out of this article?

This author was talking about you.

[Dumb_Ox]

If she's so nice, why is she so irritated that she complains about the shortcomings of fellow parishoners who point out the shortcomings of others? And doesn't her exaltation of friendliness discriminate against those afflicted with social anxiety disorders or curmudgeonly, yet blameless, characters?

Really, that shaking hands stuff is all too often given in a false sense of "building community." I never remember who I sit behind at last Sunday's mass. I had a better memory at daily mass, because there were only thirty or so people there and I actually knew some of them from elsewhere.

[GrannyML]

It was a real Catholic who got my mail, did my shopping and kept me company when I was in a cast for 10 weeks just a month after I had moved to this new city. He showed me how to practice charity. Later, by the grace of God, I married him!!

[old and tired]

My unwillingness to grab a stranger's hand at the Our Father has nothing to do with "not liking them" or "not being a nice person" and everything to do with wanting to obey liturgical law as constituted by the Church -- and wanting to encourage others to do so as well.

You're a better man than I am. I don't want to hold a stranger's hand at the Our Father because it's icky! And it's weird. And I might catch a cold. Or the cooties.

Seriously, it really bugs me when I'm in a church that holds hands at the Our Father. I feel almost violated when some stranger extends her hand to me. It's a very aggressive gesture. If my parish had this practice, I'd switch.

[SaltyJoe]

"Real Catholics may not know where a particular verse is found, but they know where to find the Body and Blood of the Lord, to strengthen and sustain them."

Christianity is certainly not gnostic. It's the Sacraments (especially the presence of Christ in the Holy Eucharist) that separates Catholics from many other Christians. My best understanding of this is that not only is God the Creator of all things, but He exists within, and works through, what He has Created.

[sockmonkey]

You know, this is kind of an irritating article.

I found it worse than irritating. For a relatively short article she used the word me thirteen times. I didn't count how many times she used the word I.

[sinkspur]

If she's so nice, why is she so irritated that she complains about the shortcomings of fellow parishoners who point out the shortcomings of others?

Because it's usually the nitpickers who are nowhere to be found when the parish picnic is being organized, or the sick need to be visited by someone who has a little time to spend with these lonely souls.

[sinkspur]

Alcoholism and obstinate heresy aren't sins any more?

Where's the alcoholic? Where's the heretic? If you're talking about women's ordination, a layman is permitted to have a personal opinion about women's ordination without being guilty of sin.

Not making an effort to know one's faith isn't a sin any more?

Taking care of the sick or those in need seems to take precedence. The Samaritan wasn't even a believer, yet found favor in Jesus' parable because he cared for a neighbor in need (where the religious people simply walked by because "one can't be late for church, can one?"

[AlbionGirl]

The piece has an insipid quality about it. I started to read it earlier today when I was surfing Catholic blogs, but couldn't get into it. This thread forced me to do that, and I agree with you.

She's talking about a particular family of warts, any wart not of that family must needs classify its genesis to something other than a 'good' or 'true' fault.