Dean, Ketchup and Audiotape
by JohnHuang2
In a newly aired audiotape purportedly of Saddam's voice, Saddam's voice hotly denies involvement in the "deadly car bombing (Friday) in the holiest Iraqi Shiite Muslim city of Najaf," CBS News reports this week. U.S. Democrats, like Saddam, were also highly skeptical of Saddam involvement. Or al-Qaeda involvement. Or Fedayeen involvement. Or Sunni involvement. Democrats won't rule out Schwarzenegger, under attack from campaign rivals after giving a magazine interview only 26 short years ago about sex parties and dope-smoking only 26 short years ago. Iraq was the perfect diversion for Arnie. Hurricane Fabian, which could've been the perfect diversion for Arnie, is set to veer north -- away from U.S. soil, therefore useless to Arnie.
The tape, broadcast Monday on Qatar-based satellite station al-Jazeera, offered fresh evidence Saddam's voice survived the war, and had probably been holed up till recently in an Albuquerque hotel with 11 Democrat Senators from Texas.
In the tape, Saddam's voice again sharply criticized Bush's Iraq policy, especially his ouster from office, but vowed to return to active government service by kicking the "invaders and occupiers" out of Iraq, "which will happen soon." A month ago, Saddam's voice vowed to kick the invaders and occupiers out of Iraq "at any moment." The reason for the delay remains unclear. Moreover, in the latest statement, Saddam's voice again gave few details -- how taped sounds of human vocal chords can kick 160,000 "invaders and occupiers" out of Iraq very "soon" also remains unclear, especially given the "invaders and occupiers" would strongly oppose such a move. Saddam's voice made no mention of joining the race for governor of California.
While strongly denying involvement in Friday's car bombing, Saddam's voice strongly urged more car bombings -- "brave blows against the foreign aggressors from wherever they come and whatever their nationalities and encircle those criminals who," like venerated Shi'ite cleric Ayatollah Mohammed Bakir Hakim, "slide into cooperation with the infidel, criminal foreigners."
Saddam's voice -- Al Gore without the charisma -- said it was silly to blame Saddam for the car bombing, citing insufficient evidence linking Saddam to the car bombing, which killed scores of people, including the venerated cleric Hakim.
But the most important reason Saddam was not involved in the car bombing is because "Saddam was the leader of all Iraqi people, suggesting he would not launch an attack on any particular ethnic or religious group -- Shiites included," says CBS. A fair point. When it comes to the business of killing, Saddam is a big Equal Opportunity guy, earnestly promoting equality, careful never to launch any mass killing sprees against particular ethnic or religious groups, but against ALL ethnic and religious groups -- Shi'ites included -- proudly avoiding any perception of discrimination. It's part of Saddam's neutral killing policy. The Saddam diversity principle is clear -- violence should be spread equally, against all groups. "Saddam Hussein," said Saddam Hussein, "is not the leader of a minority or group within a group. He is the leader of the great Iraqi people."
Hundreds of thousands of slaughtered Kurds and Shi'ites could not be reached for comment tonight.
Saddam's voice -- echoing Al Gore -- warned people not to believe everything they see in TV news these days, especially Fox, where Saddam has taken a pounding. "Ye Believers," Saddam's voice implored, "if a corrupt person brought you news, check it well before accusing arbitrarily. Otherwise, you will regret your accusation." In other words, O Ye Believers, for the straight scoop, keep your dial on CBS News. (The 'Ye Believers' quote on the tape is a Quranic verse. Democrats maintain Saddam was quite a secular fellow, not one to be running around quoting Quranic verses.)
CBS News blames the car bombing, a religious sacrament packed with 1,650 pounds of explosives, on the evil 'occupation.' The Iraqi police appears to disagrees with CBS News, asking the 'evil occupation' for help in the probe. Moreover, an overwhelming majority of Shi'ites also disagree with CBS News, pinning the blame for the bombing on Saddam and Saddam holdouts. Nineteen suspects have been arrested thus far, most of them foreign, all with links to al-Qaeda. Democrats, who claim 'BUSH KNEW ABOUT 9/11 BEFORE 9/11 BECAUSE OF LINKS TO BIN LADEN AND AL-QAEDA!,' maintain Saddam has no links to bin Laden or al-Qaeda.
Al-Qaeda says it has no information of any al-Qaeda involvement, but the matter is under investigation. (Al-Qaeda hasn't determined yet whether al-Qaeda was involved in last week's blackout in London. Top terrorist officials said they were looking into the incident.)
Iraqi police say they have ways of making prisoners sing. It's why the 'al-Qaeda 19' promptly spilled the beans on al-Qaeda. People For The Ethnical Treatment Of Animals issued a statement, harshly condemning Iraqi police tactics.
Saddam's voice continues: "Many of you may have heard the snakes hissing, the servants of the invaders, occupiers, infidels, and how they managed to accuse the followers of Saddam Hussein of responsibility for the attack on al-Hakim without any evidence. They rushed to accuse before investigating. They did that to divert attention from the real culprits...Whatever mysterious thing has happened, the true answers can only be found through an honest investigation...(but) that can only happen once the invaders and occupiers are kicked out of Iraq..."
Sheesh -- so lemme get this straight. Saddam puts out a tape, right? The tape blames Bush for the bombing, rips the invasion, and calls Americans a bunch of occupiers and infidels, no? The tape gets gobs and gobs of airtime, yet Democrats STILL complain they can't get their 'message' out?
Meanwhile, in another heavy blow to leading Quagmirists, "Iraq's Governing Council (Sunday) named a 25-member Cabinet reflecting the country's ethnic and religious makeup to take charge of government ministries and begin reclaiming some powers from the U.S.-led coalition," The Associated Press reports. "The new Cabinet exactly mirrors the Governing Council's ethnic and religious breakdown with 13 Shi'ites, five Sunni Arabs, five Kurds (also Sunnis), one ethnic Turk and an Assyrian Christian." John Ashcroft and Gale Norton are not expected to be part of the new Cabinet, so the Council makeup is not expected to garner much Democrat opposition, despite a strong religious streak.
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"Dean has catapulted from long shot to front-runner as the race reaches the Labor Day milestone," Newsday reports this week. "New polls in early-voting states put him in the lead, he is expected to top the field in fund-raising for the second straight quarter and his four-day cross-country 'sleepless summer tour' that ended Tuesday in New York City generated big rallies and plenty of publicity," Newsday observes.
"The sense that Bush is vulnerable comes from recent polls," says Newsday. These recent polls show Bush plunging to rock-bottom 60 percent from sky-high 60 percent, in a scant few months, with "growing numbers of voters," who just can't wait to be governed by Howard Dean, "questioning (Bush's) leadership on both the economy and Iraq."
Dean's on a roll! His Democrat rivals pray they don't find mass graves and Governor's palaces and torture chambers in Vermont, which would make Dean a lock for the nomination. (A 50-foot bust of Howard Dean in the state capital would catapult Dean to 1000% among drooling Fedayeenies in Iowa and New Hampshire.)
As far as the general election, the question no longer is whether Bush is vulnerable, says the media. He is. Very, very, very vulnerable, in fact. The question now is, 'Can Bush even dream of beating Dean, towering hero of internet chat rooms and other sites on the web, which Gore invented? Can Bush even think of going toe-to-toe with Dean, an immensely popular figure pushing gay civil unions, higher taxes, abortion, socialist medicine, invading Liberia, not invading Iraq, invading Iraq (but more 'invading' than Bush), cuts in military spending and other such 'centrist' positions, all immensely popular? Can Bush really challenge Dean on foreign policy? Dream on, Bush! Dream on! On foreign affairs, rivals dismiss Dean as untested, an utterly baseless charge, given Dean's vast foreign affairs experience amassed during major campaign swings through states like Iowa, New Hampshire, Florida, Washington, you name it. Take his position on Cuba, for instance. In Florida, Dean learned of a recent crackdown on the island which has been going on for 44 years. This recent crackdown, which began in 1959, says Dean, has pushed Dean to re-evaluate his long-held support for lifting the embargo on Cuba. Small wonder he's earned a reputation as a man of principle.
All of this spells trouble for Bush, politically.
Again, go ahead and laugh. Don't take my word for it, folks, the polls tell the story. Why, a brand new USA Today/CNN/Gallup Poll shows Bush extremely vulnerable, with Democrat unity growing powerfully. Democrats appear to be quickly coalescing around the top 9 candidates in a field of 9 candidates. Take Massachusetts Senator John F. Kerry, who made it official Tuesday in South Carolina, re-re-re-re-launching his quest for the White House, aircraft carrier USS Yorktown in tow. In this poll, only 91 percent of Democrats said they don't support Kerry, who served in Vietnam, for the nomination. A huge 9 percent will vote for Kerry, who served in Vietnam, in upcoming primaries and caucuses, Democrats say. Thirty-two percent never heard of Kerry, who served in Vietnam. With this kind of Democrat consensus and harmony, can anyone seriously deny that Bush is vulnerable? (By the way, Kerry's announcement speech was positively electrifying! Unbelievably exciting! First, he blasted Bush as a liar, then...*yawn*...he blasted Bush as a liar, then...*yawn*....he blasted Bush as a liar...then...*yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.* Never mind, I'll tell you later.)
In another sign of growing Democrat unity, only 89 percent of Democrats don't support Howard Dean, immensely popular former Vermont governor. A mammoth 11 percent are set to vote for Dean, according to this poll. Forty-two percent never heard of Dean. Rep. Dick Gephardt of Missouri is opposed by only 87 percent in his party, coming in a colossal 13 percent in this poll. Twenty-three percent never heard of Gephardt. Opposition to Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman is the tiniest, with only 77 percent of Democrats opposing his nomination, but a stupendous 23 percent saying they will vote Lieberman for nominee. I'd give you a lowdown of the rest of the field, but I don't have a magnifying glass handy at the moment.
In another sign of growing trouble for Bush, Democrats are so confident that Bush is beatable, party leaders are clamoring for someone else -- Clark! Hillary! Brokaw! McCain! -- to jump in the race, worried that Bush may be too unbeatable next year.
Dean "'appeals to your heart and the part of you that is angry with the Bush administration, but the ultimate issue is his ability to win the general election,' said Waring Howe Jr., a prominent South Carolina Democrat," the AP reports. "He likes Dean, but is wary."
AP: "'Some of us may say, 'Don't do to us what you did in '88; that is, give us a candidate you liked a lot but who's defeated in November,' Howe said. 'Don't give us another Michael Dukakis.'"
Darn! They just don't make 'vulnerability' for GOP presidents like they used to anymore! ;-)
Anyway, that's...
My two cents
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((((((( Pippin ))))))) 
