Kids fear Ann Coulter (Liberal commie Rat Humor with a barf alert)

tallahassee ^ | 7/1/2003 | Andy Borowitz

[TLBSHOW]

Kids fear Ann Coulter

"Mommy, make the scary lady go away." Those are the tearful words of Kaylee Brodkin, 7, of Gary, Ind., who for the last five days has been awakened in the middle of the night by terrifying nightmares - nightmares featuring television pundit/author Ann Coulter.

With the ubiquitous Coulter currently on a national book tour, little Kaylee's sad story is far from an isolated occurrence.

"More and more these days, we are seeing small children who have been traumatized by Ann Coulter," said Dr. Harmon Densmore, chief clinical psychologist at the Chartwell Children's Institute based at the University of Minnesota.

While Densmore urges parents to limit their children's exposure to the banshee-like pundit, whose intemperate polemics flatten everyone and everything in their path, he acknowledges that keeping children away from Coulter entirely may be next to impossible.

Little Kaylee, who is now working with a counselor to conquer her fear, attends role-playing therapy sessions twice a week in which she uses a dragon puppet to bite the head off an Ann Coulter puppet.

"I'd like to hug Kaylee and tell her that Ann Coulter doesn't exist, but you can't lie to your kids," said Kaylee's mother, Diane Brodkin, 38. "Children today have to deal with a lot of scary things, and Ann Coulter, unfortunately, is one of them."

[TLBSHOW]

Boy oh boy the libs are not even funny when they try to be..just my opinion....

[TLBSHOW]

fyi-lol

[Cultural Jihad]

Maybe it wasn't Ann that scared them, but your photo. ;-)

[Larry Lucido]

A wannabe Onion columnist. Problem is, Onion writers need to be funny.

[Brilliant]

This is a joke, right??? Someone needs a lobotomy.

[4mycountry]

Oh BAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRFFFFFFFFF!!!

[exit82]

Gee, someimes I wake up to nightmares of a scary woman--Hillary Clinton. Wish she would go away,too.

Notice the violence the kid is subjected to in liberal therapy--a dragon puppet biting off the head of Ann Coulter.
Even in humor the truth about liberals comes out!

[SubMareener]

Picture!

[headsonpikes]

GUYS! You're missing the humor!

This is obviously a send-up of uber-sensitive liberalism.

It's gotta be! No one's so lame as to write this as a straight piece mocking Coulter.

Not even DUfuses. ;^)

[ATOMIC_PUNK]

"I'd like to hug Kaylee and tell her that Ann Coulter doesn't exist, but you can't lie to your kids,"

Thats the problem to much hugging not enough teaching even if this is humor it comes from a vacant brain pan willing to drink the elixer of the lemming. {sp}

Just the existance of liberalism is a lie to the kids promising freedom and delivering tyranny.

[SubMareener]

The Truth is very Scary!

[DrNo]

Do I smell an "Onion"?

[Welsh Rabbit]

There's nothing lamer than a bad Onion ripoff.

[The Brush]

I wish I could get Ann to show up in some of my dreams! I could "get up" a little earlier....

[TLBSHOW]

nope but you can smell the Tallahassee Democrat rat paper...

[Scenic Sounds]

Maybe poor little Kaylee is just afraid of Ann because she heard Ann say that women shouldn't be allowed to vote. ;-)

[goldstategop]

Quick.... hide the chirrun. The Wicked Conservative Witch is coming to take them away to the Land Where Hide No Shadows.

[TLBSHOW]

Kids fear Ann Coulter = liberals fear Ann Coulter

[WorkingClassFilth]

That's not too funny even for lowbrow RAT humor.

What's much funnier is teaching kids to work hard, save money, pay their own way, respect the law and hold absolute values. Then when some Leftist comes along and saddles their business with slackers that can't be fired, corrupts and debases their currency, steals their earnings through endless taxation, spits on Constitutional law and writes bogus law and regulations to oppress and continually denounces tradition, morality and divine law.

The funny part is also teaching them how to deliver metaphorical roundhouse kicks so that mealy-mouthed thieves and liars get their metaphorical jaws rearranged and their metaphorical teeth sprayed across the room.

What's even funnier is advancing the notion that people who kill the Constitution are enemies of America. Enemies can be foreign and domestic. Enemies of America may eventually have to be engaged in ways that are direct and final.

The punch line is that the metaphor may well become reality.

[OREALLY]

The poor kids should be afraid if they have found out they have liberal parents out to destroy the world !