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101 Sea Stories and Some Assorted BS from All Ye Scoundrels Who Ought to be Keelhauled Part IV
Blackshoes, Airdales, Bubbleheads, Snipes, Jarheads, etc. ^ | 9/20/2000 and on and on and on.. | Ronin

Posted on 04/17/2003 3:09:50 PM PDT by piasa

(Repost : See Previous threads for context) After obtaining permission from Commodore Jim Robinson, I hereby dedicate this thread to 101 or more sea stories.

For the innocents among us, a sea story is an experience (or a good lie) that a person associated with the Naval service either remembers personally or has had told to him at one time in the past.

It has been said that the difference between a sea story and a fairy tale is that a fairy tale begins with "Once upon a time..." while a Sea Story begins with "This is a no-shi++er..."

I personally prefer stories to be true, but given the entertainment value of a well told sea story, I doubt if anyone is going to cry "foul" if a moderate amount of creative embellishment creeeps it's way into the account.

Also subject to Jim Rob's approval, normal standards of language usage may be relaxed for this thread. This is, in my opinion, necessitated by the fact that a sea story without a bit of salty lingo is about as interesting as flat warm beer.

So have at, shipmates! Let's hear your best one!

-------------------------------------------------------

In the interests of modesty, I will refrain from tooting my own stories until a few responses get posted. That way I can take all the credit for a neato thread if it turns out great and can save my best ones for another time if the thread flops.

1 Posted on 09/20/2000 17:29:32 PDT by Ronin


TOPICS: Extended News; Free Republic; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: humor; lies; morale; seastories; stories; tales; usmc; usn
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To: TontoKowalski

Okay......we’ve heard enough from you Squids...
Since the Marine Corps is “associated” with the Dept of the Navy — we get a say here too!

On the subject of “massage baths”.....
NONE were more delightful than those provided by the best places in Kyoto, Japan — circa 1964/69...

One could be “bathed” by up to four very beautiful female “wash clothes” on a very slippery massage bed/table....
The soap and hot water, massage, slipping and sliding and giggling was more than enough to wipe away the grime, sweat, blood and tears of a 13 month tour in Nam.....

Such an experience is probably unobtainable in Japan at ANY price today....

Very sad indeed.....


81 posted on 01/01/2008 6:34:49 PM PST by river rat (Semper Fi - You may turn the other cheek, but I prefer to look into my enemy's vacant dead eyes.)
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To: river rat; freema; 300winmag
Since the Marine Corps is “associated” with the Dept of the Navy — we get a say here too!

At muh first staff meeting at a new job, I had a former squid say, "You know, the Marine Corps is a department of the Navy..."

I responded, "Yeah, the men's department..." We're buds now...

82 posted on 01/01/2008 6:42:47 PM PST by g'nad
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To: Vermonter
You HAVE to read Allamagoosa by Eric Frank Russle.
83 posted on 01/01/2008 6:46:58 PM PST by 6ppc (It's torch and pitchfork time)
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To: g'nad; river rat

g’nad, are you trying to make me blush? I must be strange, I love your sweet story, river rat.

g’nad, I love browsing in the men’s department ; )


84 posted on 01/01/2008 7:15:16 PM PST by freema
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To: g'nad

Our family has it’s black sheep....

Though heavily Marine Corps — we’ve got immediate family and close relatives (male and female) in the Army and Navy.....including one young fella flying F18s off carriers — currently standing by for his 4th tour in the Middle East.

God in his wisdom has spared us from anyone going to the Air Force.....
The Lord KNEW they frightened us Grunts enough in Vietnam with their “precision bombing” that we wouldn’t tolerate one in the family.....

TRUE STORY:
When notified the Air Force was conducting operations in our AO — we would retire to our deepest bunkers and cower in fear...

When notified the Navy was conducting operations in our AO — we would exit the bunkers, go to our fighting positions in full battle dress and watch the show....

When notified our Marines were flying in for operations in our proximity — we would shuck the gear, pull off our shirts, deploy our air panels, spread a blanket and relax to enjoy the show....

Marine pilots were KNOWN to verify OUR positions by flying so close we could see the thumbs up recognition from the pilots......
It’s hard to describe the level of comfort and LOVE that Marine Air enjoys from the Grunts......


85 posted on 01/01/2008 7:15:42 PM PST by river rat (Semper Fi - You may turn the other cheek, but I prefer to look into my enemy's vacant dead eyes.)
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To: river rat

yup...

the only close-air I trust is Marine Close-Air...

I love A-10s, but not when their strafin’ me and my Marines... oi...

I had the displeasure of recovering the remains and crypto from an LAV that got whacked by a Hellfire from an AF platform...


86 posted on 01/01/2008 7:36:06 PM PST by g'nad
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To: USNBandit

Pusan before the Russians took over Texas Street was good liberty. But for sheer sleaziness it was hard to beat Pohang during Team Spirit or Valiant Blitz.


87 posted on 01/01/2008 7:45:43 PM PST by GATOR NAVY
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To: freema

Excuse me, I wasn’t aware women would be in this particular thread.....

Now that I know — there are a couple of tales I’ll have to minimize and “clean up”!

One was about our 23 year old virgin farm boy from Wisconsin - upon learning this, we pooled our money to provide a VERY memorable liberty close by his 24th Birthday.
We were so glad we did — he was killed about 4 months later — less than 3 months after arriving Vietnam.

The other was about this very hard nosed, salty, battle proven E7 Marine - who discovered the woman he had been buying drinks for, dining, dancing with and “dallying” with and being “dallied by” all evening - who then accepted an invitation to his room for the evening, once in the room and disrobed - turned out to be a man....in the “important area”.

That was problem enough...
The worst aspect of the situation was that several Marine NCOs from his Battalion were in the same bar that night and KNEW the “woman” with the E7 was a man — and no one warned him and photographs were taken before they left for his room....
This particular E7, had always been a pain in the ass with his impossible to believe “exploits” with women....
His fellow NCOs figured THIS would shut the guy up for life.

That particular E7 NEVER lived it down.....
However - it took a VERY good friend to even bring it up in his presence and they had better not been one of the Marines present that night that didn’t warn him!


88 posted on 01/01/2008 7:47:03 PM PST by river rat (Semper Fi - You may turn the other cheek, but I prefer to look into my enemy's vacant dead eyes.)
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To: river rat
Don't hold back on my account ; ) I love ALL the stories-the good, the bad, and the ugly. There's nothing like some good lovin. I love sitting in the corner, sipping a drink, and listening. If I had my druthers, I'd be filling the table with good food and pouring the beer. I'm heading to bed now, though. Sleep tight ♥
89 posted on 01/01/2008 8:23:27 PM PST by freema
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To: river rat
On the subject of “massage baths”..... NONE were more delightful than those provided by the best places in Kyoto, Japan — circa 1964/69...

My vivid WestPac experiences were a generation later than yours... late 80's. Things had definitely changed in Japan, even by then. The best times were to be had in other ports of call.

Subic was always good for laughs, although when we went into dry dock there... six weeks, and it was DEFINITELY time to go. It was difficult to even walk down the streets by then.

An important lesson for a young man to learn: Too much "butterflying" leads to disgruntled lady friends. LOL.

For the record, I had my share of outstanding liberty in the company of Marine friends. Both they and the liberty are treasured memories.

90 posted on 01/01/2008 8:59:31 PM PST by TontoKowalski
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bmfl


91 posted on 01/01/2008 9:14:11 PM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Shorn, dumb and bleating is no way to go through life, son." Yeah, close enough.)
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To: 11th_VA

I made a WestPac cruise on the Chicago in 1976, as part of the Helicopter detachment. The hangar was below deck, so you had to fold the helo up, chain it to the elevator, and send it down. Once below, it was pulled sideways on a track that the main gear sat on, and tucked up against the bulkhead. It just barely fit. During heavy seas, it was a real hair raising event.


92 posted on 01/01/2008 11:53:18 PM PST by shorty_harris
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To: TontoKowalski; river rat

I don’t know if this qualifies, but this is a no-shi++er. One beautiful night in the 70’s, Tonto, I spent a lovely evening on the North Coast shore keeping watch for submarines and monitoring shooting stars with a boy named Kowalski.


93 posted on 01/02/2008 2:47:01 AM PST by freema (: ))
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To: GATOR NAVY

Texas Street is pretty much off limits now. We can go there but most places you will get into trouble for going into.


94 posted on 01/02/2008 3:09:49 AM PST by Hoosiersailor
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To: piasa

Sea Stories?
Well, then, this is Liberty Hall. You can spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard!

This no-sh*t*er happened far from the sea but definitely involved the naval service. One night many years ago, the police department in Floydada Texas (population 4000 or so) received a frantic call from a local resident who claimed that something had “run into” his backyard chicken coop and demolished it.

A patrol officer (the only one on duty in fact) was dispatched to invesigate. He found the coop not quite demolished, but with a large hole in the roof, one wall collapsed, and liberated chickens clucking up the neighborhood.
A peek inside the damaged facility revealed a cylindrical object about 8 feet long with a nylon shroud trailing away from it and covering the remnants of the roof. The officer soon realized that the mess of nylon sheets and lines was in fact the remains of a parachute.

Suspecting that they might have a renegade nuclear missile on their hands, the police summoned help from the nearest military post, Reese Air Force Base. The zoomies put their collective heads together and, noticing the small propeller thing on the back, they eventually decided that the object was not a missile exactly but a Mk 46 anti-submarine torpedo. They also surmised that it had fallen from a passing aircraft, there being no surface vessels cruising around west Texas.

Navy EOD types were summoned from God-knows-where to disarm the contraption and take it away. The home owner was (probably over-)compensated for the coop and the escaped chickens. A certain P-3 squadron was found to be at fault but I am not sure what action was taken further down the line.


95 posted on 01/02/2008 3:36:41 AM PST by atomic conspiracy (Rousing the blog-rabble since 9-11-01)
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To: piasa; acad1228; AliVeritas; aomagrat; beachn4fun; BIGLOOK; blackie; bluesagewoman; CH3CN; ...

BTTT and pinging a few friends. I know some of these Sea Dogs have some stories in ‘em. ARRRR!


96 posted on 01/02/2008 6:10:17 AM PST by StarCMC (http://cannoneerno4.wordpress.com; http://starcmc.wordpress.com/ - The Enemedia is inside the gates.)
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To: SunkenCiv

Now THAT’s funny! LOL!


97 posted on 01/02/2008 7:13:55 AM PST by Monkey Face (A New Year's Resolution I can keep: Not to make New Year's Resolutions. ([o:)
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To: StarCMC

BTTT


98 posted on 01/02/2008 7:16:55 AM PST by E.G.C.
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To: Monkey Face

It wasn’t what I was looking for, but others have used it to great effect in the past, soooo... ;’) Works good with a hook-hand.


99 posted on 01/02/2008 9:04:48 AM PST by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/____________________Profile updated Sunday, December 30, 2007)
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To: Skyraider

Surely to God, YOU can appreciate the meaning ifthis thread!!


100 posted on 01/02/2008 11:58:55 AM PST by Old Sarge (This tagline in memory of FReeper 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub)
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