USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Adopt a Military Unit ~ November 20 2002

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

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[Radix]

HU'S ON FIRST

By James Sherman



(We take you now to the Oval Office.)





George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?





Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.





George: Great. Lay it on me.





Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.





George: That's what I want to know.





Condi: That's what I'm telling you.





George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?





Condi: Yes.





George: I mean the fellow's name.





Condi: Hu.





George: The guy in China.





Condi: Hu.





George: The new leader of China.





Condi: Hu.





George: The Chinaman!





Condi: Hu is leading China.





George: Now whaddya' asking me for?





Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.





George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?





Condi: That's the man's name.





George: That's who's name?





Condi: Yes.





George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?





Condi: Yes, sir.





George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.





Condi: That's correct.





George: Then who is in China?





Condi: Yes, sir.





George: Yassir is in China?





Condi: No, sir.





George: Then who is?





Condi: Yes, sir.





George: Yassir?





Condi: No, sir.





George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.



Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.





Condi: Kofi?





George: No, thanks.





Condi: You want Kofi?





George: No.





Condi: You don't want Kofi.





George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And





then get me the U.N.





Condi: Yes, sir.





George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.





Condi: Kofi?





George: Milk! Will you please make the call?





Condi: And call who?





George: Who is the guy at the U.N?





Condi: Hu is the guy in China.





George: Will you stay out of China?!





Condi: Yes, sir.





George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.





Condi: Kofi.





George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.





(Condi picks up the phone.)





Condi: Rice, here.





George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food in the Middle East?

[Dutchgirl]

Ahhh. The new Federalist has hit my mailbox

UPRIGHT "None of us wish to go to war, and yet in these terrible times none of us wish to leave such a terrible man [as Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein] in control of such terrible weapons." --Victor Davis Hanson ++
"Reasonable people can disagree about the prudential options for addressing the threat of an outlaw state such as Iraq which has weapons of mass destruction, harbors terrorists and seeks a nuclear weapons capability." --George Weigel ++
"After weeks of negotiation, hesitation and general vacillation, our 'friends' on the UN Security Council -- France and Russia -- have agreed to pretend to crack down on Saddam Hussein. In return, he can pretend to obey." --Paul Greenberg {}
"Until this war, like the cold war, is won, all elections will be 9-11 elections -- elections that those who ignore this unhappy truth will continue to lose." --Charles Krauthammer ++
"Democrats were defeated because the election was dominated by a conservative president espousing conservative principles. Issues like homeland security, the Iraqi threat and lower taxes -- issues many Democrats openly opposed -- were popular with voters." --Oliver North ++
"The voices of compromise are always seductive -- and too often over the years the Republicans have heeded those voices." --Thomas Sowell ++
"...Democrats have been without new ideas for so long that bankruptcy for their party would be a step up." --Cal Thomas {}
"...[N]ever, ever, ever underestimate George W. Bush. It took me two years of being wrong about Bush before I finally got sick of it. The rest of the pundit class had better catch on. He is a leader of the first order." --David Brooks

Late night

Jay Leno.... Inspectors say they haven't found any offensive or defensive weapons yet. That's not Iraq, but the Lakers. They lost again last night! .... Saddam Hussein is now going to allowing weapons inspectors back into Iraq. He changed his mind after a call from Doctor Phil. .... Al-Qa'ida has issued another threat towards New York and Washington saying there will be more attacks if we do not convert to Islam. Convert to Islam? And you thought Jehovah Witnesses were pushy! .... Once thought dead, but now it is believed Osama bin Laden is still alive. Know what this means -- there's still hope for the Democrats! .... The Democrats have decided that Boston, Massachusetts, will be the site of their 2004 convention. However they are saying, "Shhhhhhh don't tell Al Gore!" .... Tomorrow at midnight the government takes over airport security. So if you want to get anywhere you better leave tonight! .... Yesterday Congress voted to give itself a raise! And why not? Sure, the country is on a terror alert, we're on the brink of war, and the economy is in the dumper. Good job, fellas! .... Instead of a raise Congress should work off a commission. .... Ellis Island closed its doors this week in 1954. This is the place where we used to process immigrants coming into the country. Of course, that was back in the days where we used to process immigrants coming into the country.

David Letterman.... "Top Signs Saddam Hussein is Getting Nervous": "Recently he seems less 'bloodthirsty' and more 'murderous'"; "Every time the doorbell rings he yells, 'incoming!'"; "At dinner, can only finish half a gazelle"; "Ebert-sized sweat marks on his fatigues"; "Has had his mustache bulletproofed"; "Panicked after he realized he might not be around to see who wins on 'The Bachelor'"; "Too fidgety to sit still for his monthly gigantic portrait"; "Cancelled his 'Victory Over the Great Satan' party"; "Has started making bad decisions, like betting on the Knicks"; "He's taking Zoloft along with his Cipro."

Argus Hamilton.... The FBI accused the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms of incompetence. The ATF's law enforcement mission is ambiguous at best. After all, the Founding Fathers considered alcohol, tobacco and firearms three of the four basic food groups. .... Congress voted 299-121 Wednesday to pass the Homeland Security bill. It will combine the Coast Guard, the INS and Customs, and it will allow airline pilots to carry guns inside the cockpit. Until now they were only allowed to carry tequila shooters. .... Hillary Clinton was selected the national issues spokesperson by the Democratic Party. She immediately refused comment on the Ten Commandments display just ordered out of the Alabama Supreme Court lobby. Hillary Clinton isn't opposed to the Ten Commandments, but she's not exactly married to the idea, either.

[SpookBrat]

Thanks for your faithful history everyday.

[SpookBrat]

Hi Kathy! Just wanted to stop in and say hello to you.

[SpookBrat]

Yikes. I just remembered, I owe you a FReepmail.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thanks for stopping by.

[SpookBrat]

<-----click on the picture

A Flight Deck Director marshalls a F-14D Tomcat assigned to Fighter Squadron Thirty-One (VF 31), onto catapult one, in preperation for launch. VF-31 along with the rest of Carrier Air Wing FOURTEEN are flying combat missions in Southern Iraq in support of Operation Southern Watch on Nov. 11, 2002. USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72) and Carrier Air Wing FOURTEEN (CVW 14) are conducting combat operations in support of Operation Southern Watch. (U.S. Navy photo by Photographer's Mate 3rd Class (AW/PJ) PhilipA. McDaniel) (Released)

Photo by: PH3 PHILIP A. MCDANIEL, Record ID No. (VIRIN): 021111-N-9593M-003

[MeekOneGOP]

Thank you. We have an appointment at 9 a.m. tomorrow with his hand/arm doctor.

[firewalk]

hello Spookie, love the plane....

[TEXOKIE]

Roger that, Kathy! Clean, polished, and full! In the meantime.......VROOM!!!!

[TEXOKIE]

ROFL!!! Thanks for posting the new spin on this classic "Who's on first?"!

[SpookBrat]

Hi BeforeISleep. I never get to talk to you when you are awake. LOL How have you been doing?

021114-N-1328C-501 At sea aboard USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) Nov. 14, 2002 -- Aviation Electrician's Mate 2nd Class Scott Strader (right) directs hose team members Aviation Electronics Technician Airman Jason Young (center) and Aviation Electronics Technician 2nd Class Montgomery McNew. Theodore Roosevelt is underway in the Atlantic Ocean conducting flight deck qualifications. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Photographer’s Mate Eric A. Clement.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Candles for Ted Maher and his family.

[firewalk]

Thanks for asking Spookie. I'm fine

I never get to talk to you when you are awake.
(don't be fooled...i'm not really awake now...)

How you been?

[SpookBrat]

I've been great. Just real busy with the kids trying to make sure they don't grow up stupid. LOL

[firewalk]

lol!

have a good night, nice to see you!

[freedumb2003]

God morning, evening, etc. to all of our servicepeople. Sorry this is my first post of the day, but just one of those days! OK, a joke that is kicking around the internet (and a FReeper-style joke to boot!):

A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels nearby.

When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

She replied, "I'm sorry, it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80.00, and the girls get $20.00."

Mightily offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this IS a Union House."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"

"The girls get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00"

"That's more like it," the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100.00, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the night."

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then gesturing to an 85-year old woman in the corner. "But Ethel here has Seniority."

Have a great day, evening, night. Kathy IA, get that burkha fur-lined and keep the 80-proof handy! *brrr* I'll take a snapshot of the sun so you can remember what it is like. ;)

God bless each end every one of you and you are always in our prayers.

Tom and Lily

[SpookBrat]

Sorry this picture is so big, but I thought it was cool.

At sea aboard USS Abraham Lincoln (CVN 72) Nov. 11, 2002 -- A pilot assigned to the “Stingers” of Strike Fighter Squadron One One Three (VFA-113) inspects his F/A-18C “Hornet” prior to departing on a mission during the day’s flight operations. Abraham Lincoln and Carrier Air Wing Fourteen (CVW-14) are on a regularly scheduled six-month deployment conducting combat missions in support of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Southern Watch. U.S. Navy photo by Chief Journalist David Rush.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Rare, medium or well done? (^:

                                            

Cowboy

[The Mayor]

Caught for speeding
The cop got out of his car and the kid he had stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
.................................................................
Stuck under a bridge

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of
him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck,
huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of gas..................................................................
Don't mess with these ladies

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
........................................................
Let's go for stupid

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

.................................................................
Too Late

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and
walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a
policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.

"I'm going to a lecture." the man said.

"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.

"My wife," said the man"