Posted on 12/23/2001 11:58:34 AM PST by grumpster-dumpster
For many single adults, the Christmas Season is a personally uncomfortable time of the year. The loneliness factor seems to grow by leaps and bounds all the gift giving and Holiday Spirit and the general party mood can actually be quite overwhelming to the singe adult.
Now, normally I try to view life with a non-serious eye. I think its better to laugh at folly than be trampled by it. But this year was somewhat different This year I discovered an active resistance to organizing a get-together for adults to share Christmas in a non-threatening, casual environment Just a nice party where single Christians could all meet and socialize maybe have a pot-luck, BYOB, hire a DJ and exchange small (under $5) gifts to one another on Christmas afternoon.
Its absolutely unbelievable the amount of non-cooperation I received from the churches in my area. (Im Catholic but my idea was for a non-denominational event.)
- The Baptists said they couldnt be part of any event where liquor was allowed besides they had already invited the single members to share Christmas day with other families (Just what a single wants to do sit around and watch someone elses kids open presents.)
- The Methodists said they already hold an event for the singles turns out to be a youth-group function (Just what a single adult wants to do sit around with a 20 year-old discussing his/her weighty insights into life.)
- The Lutherans hold a prayer/home-alone dinner with assistance from the Youth-Group so no booze allowed. (Another winner for the single adult lets toast good-cheer with Dr. Pepper.)
- The Catholic Church said : It will interfere with the Bishops dinner he holds every year for people alone. I learned that this dinner is for the poor (meaning bums in the area). Undaunted, I tried to volunteer to help out at the event but was told the volunteers would be high-school kids (I was in high-school 30 years ago so I didnt make the cut.)
Now dont get me wrong Im not complaining about these churches trying to help out needy families, kids, the homeless, or whatever by having their own programs at Christmas and throughout the year God bless them for their outpouring of love and generosity!
But; I am complaining about the way Churches treat single adults
Look, were not asking for money, or sympathy, or even for a free meal
but do you have to reject our willingness to volunteer and help out (Just try to be a single adult man and ask Mrs. Goodness N. Sweetness what you can bring to the pot-luck! Shell probably tell you either Nothing! Just Yourself. Or worse; Oh, just bring some soda or ice, maybe a bag of chips
Anything that will make you feel like your part of the family
which your not, of course
)
Cant we just get an unused room to hold a get-together? And would it be too much trouble to spread-the-word about this event to the single adults in the congregation?
This is an open invitation for Single, Divorced, or Widowed Freepers, who are spending the Holidays alone to comment. What are your plans? Why arent you doing anything or what are you going to do? Are you looking forward to Christmas and New Years day with the family? Would you prefer to be doing something else? Do your churches hold any events for single adults? Do your suggestions or initiatives get rejected by your church?
I would really like to know I there are any of you out there who are just as frustrated at the lip-service singles get especially at this time of the year!
In all sincerity (really!): I wish each of you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Been there, done that. Hope to never do it again. I will take being single anytime rather than go through that again.
Had always heard that when you got married to expect nuttiness from your inlaws. Mine were the genuine thing.
And I thought the idea of a church was to bring sinners in so they would STOP sinning, not to shun them.
You can stay out as long as you want. You can go wherever you want, and do whatever you want.
You can leave books and magazines about guns, cars, and beer sitting out on the kitchen table. You're never expected to behave. You can keep "Animal House", "Slapshot", and "The Life of Brian" on continuous replay on the DVD player.
You can wait 'til morning -or the day after- to pitch the empty pizza box and beer cans. You don't have to hear "Your friends are morons..." every time they come over. You never have to go to the mall (I think that should count as 2 or 3 points).
You can walk around in your boxers all day. You can pick your nose and actually take the time to inspect your boogies. You can go a whole day without the phone being used. Your diet need only consist of ramen noodles and Guinness. You don't have to remember any dates.
And the problem is...?
My wife divorced me this summer and left town, not for another guy, but because she couldn't handle the stress of some legal action I am involved in. I did not get a single invitation from anyone at my church, but a couple (married, but both previously divorced) at a chuch where I have started going to for a singles group, invited singles who had no where else to go for Thanksgiving. I accepted, and I didn't even know them, as did about 10 other singles. We started at noon and had such a great time, most people stayed until 10 p.m. My advice to you is to accept that invitation. Chances are, they have been where you are and you would have a great time. I'm going back for Christmas, too.
It is December through January for me. I even withdraw from FR for a while this time of year.
I am divorced because the ex liked to sleep around while I was at work. I was hit with the divorce papers on Christmas Eve, the final Decree came on my birthday in January. Almost seems like she planned it that way to hurt as much as possible.
That was over 10 years ago, and I have had no desire to date anyone sense then.
Churches could do a better job of helping singles feel a part of the community.
Ditto!
I haven't been with anyone on Christmas since 1978.
Here's an idea.
Heck with the Bishop, go see HLL wearing just the tie.
;-)
Are you kidding! I just hired a lawyer to have my name legally changed to "grumpster-dumpster!" And another thing: the name "Fantastic Single Guy" would make me sound ike a democrat member of PFLAG! Come-on...admit it! When you see a screen name like "Fantastic Single Guy" you think of a homo-underwear model named Lance! NOOO! Thank you!
Merry Christmas to you and yours! :)
Have a great Christmas and all the best for 2002.
I know where you're coming from. Been there, done that, and have a few T-shirts.
In any event, have as Merry a Christmas as you can, and remember, it'll be all over in a week or so.
As a church youth worker, I would never allow myself to be alone with a female. It's just bad karma. It has nothing to do with gossip. It has to do with avoiding an appearance of impropriety.
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