Posted on 11/27/2016 1:22:24 AM PST by UMCRevMom@aol.com
When the honeymoon is over, couples start getting real with each other. The key to a good marriage is compromise. Whether it’s about who does what chores around the house or who’s picking dinner, a healthy give-and-take ratio is what makes a long-lasting marriage possible. Of course, venting on Twitter from time to time doesn't hurt either.
Whether you’ve been married for ten years or ten days, every couple can relate to these 15 tweets. Check out our list of some of the funniest jokes about marriage as told by the Internet - then clean out the dishwasher. Seriously, there’s a bowl-and-cup Mount Everest in the sink.
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My wife and I always joke about adopting because after thirty years we needed an infusion of new material.
The “right one” is made, not born.
Who tells you what to do?
The flip (positive) side of that is I never criticize my wife when she is cooking or cleaning.
It could be the worst meal in the world or she missed a lot of spots cleaning but I will not say a negative word—just thank her—because the alternative is me doing those things!
Fact: There is a blind spot in the eyeball.
http://io9.gizmodo.com/5804116/why-every-human-has-a-blind-spot-—and-how-to-find-yours
Which helps explain why when the wife moves an item 1 foot men cannot find it because it always ends up in the blind spot.
My.2 Main Points of Life!
#1. Never relinquish the keys to the vehicle.
#2. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
See how those 2 things work together? Next month we have been married 59 years and I always do the driving. I am the wife BTW!
I’ve been calling ‘the guy’ for a lot of years now. Lol. Beats me doing it.
True!
I often thank my MIL for the job she did in raising my SO.
He is pretty awesome (to me).
You can be married or you can be happy but you can not be happily married.
Wise is the man humble enough to call the guy
Wife: You can make me happy if you get me anything that makes me look good.
Me: How about a paper bag with two eye holes?
Wife: (glare)
Me: (no pulse)
These are all predictable smart wife, dumb husband. Tired, unoriginal, not funny.
In the interest of levity and balance, how about:
Life’s a *itch, then you marry one.
Are you happy, or are you married?
If a man’s alone in a forest, is he still wrong?
I’ve been married twice. Never again. I just cannot take the “men pretend to be dumb to get out of chores and because they think women think it’s cute” act. The last 12 years that I have been going it alone have been peaceful and pretty much stress free. I have learned the hard way: unless you can’t stand being alone, freedom is better than “love.”
If she is under 18, that flinch bit is downright dangerous. There are people who call child protective services out of paranoia of middle class child abuse.
She isn’t and they have three lovely girls between them.
Wife: Spandex pants
I wish men as a whole would stop being "cool" with this crap.
No, this is the way men are portrayed in the media. The truth is simply that men and women have differing senses of urgency when it come to certain "chores", and this causes , in many cases, an unreasonable amount of conflict
I have learned the hard way: unless you can’t stand being alone, freedom is better than “love.”
This is wisest thing I have read in a long time. Agree 100%
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