Posted on 11/25/2011 1:27:16 PM PST by NYer
I confess, I despise “Black Friday.” I hate the way consumers are urged to haul their Thanksgiving-exhausted selves out to stores — away from family members who have often traveled some distance to come together — so they can surrender their human dignity or assault the dignity of others in order to snag a ten-dollar sweater and a waffle-maker for $9.99.
And I hate the way consumers go along with it.
I hate the way the mad buying and bad behavior is attached to Christmas — the coming of the Christ was meant to set us free, and yet the over-commercialization of “the Holidays” feeds our greed and tethers us to our possessions in a way that can only weigh us down, more firmly, to earthly concerns.
We are not released, only further encumbered.
And am I the only one who, each year, finds the Christmas commercials less ingratiating and more off-putting? “The season” has only just begun, but already I can’t stand the commercial where a son travels through snow to see his parents, only to find an empty house, because his Boomer parents — not interested in welcoming him — have sneaked out the back and taken his car for a spin? “Click!” The channel changes every time that commercial comes on.
She’s not writing specifically about Christmas, but in her column this week on Patheos, Elizabeth Duffy examines the emptiness of a life too full of things:
It’s time to admit that just as my kids don’t play with the wooden toys I’d prefer them to play with, I don’t wear half my clothes; I’ll never read half my books; and I don’t bake specialty cakes. And yet, over the years I have accumulated an outrageous number of artifacts for a multi-faceted fantasy life that no one in this house actually lives.
Accumulating all of that stuff — it actually creates distance between our real selves and what we think we’re supposed to be, as dictated to us through advertisers and trends. Buy these $400 shoes and you will be happy; imagine yourself walking down a runway in this dress (that no one can actually wear unless they’re built like an adolescent boy) and it will mean something to you. Really, it will.
But it never does. Because things are just things. They don’t add to your wisdom; they don’t make you a better or kinder or happier person. If you give them your love, they won’t love you back.
As Elizabeth writes:
Because I can afford them, I’ll buy five pairs of jeans in search of the one perfect pair. I may only spend twenty bucks, and have five pairs of name-brand jeans, but who needs them? Who can store them? Who has the lifestyle to support five pairs of name-brand jeans? Not me. And to be real, I probably have three times that, because I have my normal jeans, my pregnant jeans, and my fat jeans wardrobe. Also a skinny jeans wardrobe, just in case.
So there, I have clothed myself, and all my potential selves, on a dime. Yay me.
I used to make my peace with “Black Friday” and the excesses of “the season” because I considered that even the bad behavior was rooted, ultimately, in love; that people were acting like loons over “things” because they were motivated by their love for their families. But that’s not convincing me, any longer.
Each year, I find myself less willing to take part in any of this, less persuaded that I must go out and buy “things” for people who already have more than enough of everything, because somehow this is supposed to demonstrate my love. “Things” mean love.
Well, I’m not doing it. The littlest kids are getting gifts (small ones; hello chess sets!) — and everyone else is getting homemade cookies or Monastic soaps, cremes and candies — high-quality “things” that are quickly used and gone, and whose purchase helps sustain houses of prayer — or books that can actually change people’s lives by helping them to find a measure of true comfort and joy, those two genuine gifts of Christmas. The parish outreach will get the bulk of our Christmas fund.
Advent begins this weekend, and it should be a time of quietening-down, of expectation born of introspection and prayer, and yet those straining to hear the voices of prophecy and heralding angels hear only “buy, buy, buy!”.
Somewhere between the excesses of the Occupy Wall Street crowd and the excesses of the Black Friday Shoppers, there is balance and reason. But increasingly, our culture can only swing between the two extremes.
The ride is making me sick. I want off.
LOL! I went to Home Depot early this morning for a couple of little things I needed for a project, and then I suddenly realized that the parking lot was full because there were still left-over folks from their Black Friday night event.
Very strange. I got my things and left but people were still circling, looking for toys and stuff I didn’t even know Home Depot carried.
I agree with her. I very much dislike the traffic and crowds.....all scrambling to find happiness in a bargain.
Much better (and happier) to stay home, watch football, play games and eat leftovers and pie.
;-))))
Only shows the true nature of the day.
I doubt Black Friday will last many more years. You can shop online and partake of the specials and be done in an hour. There’s no need to go out into a mob scene and be jostled. The young people coming up will laugh at video of people wrestling over stuff; they are quite comfortable shopping online.
That being said, I think I’m asking family to give one very small simple gift this year and cut out all the stress. We’ve had a tough year.
I used to think it was great, although I never did it myself because I was always the one at home making the lunch! But it has become, in my mind, a media event and I don’t like the whole reality-TV stampede aspect of it.
I don’t think that it has anything to do with capitalism and it’s ugly seeing people clawing at each other to get in and save a few dollars on something they probably wouldn’t have bought anyway otherwise.
I particularly didn’t like it this year, because starting it so early meant that people left your Thanksgiving dinner or “after party” (drinks and snacks for people who had gone to dinners elsewhere) by about 8:00 pm so they could get to the parking lot at Wal-Mart in time to buy a Barbie at 10:00 pm.
I heard from somebody else today who said her entire dinner was uncomfortable because one family member was really obssessed with getting to some store (she never said which one) that was opening early so she could save $20 on some appliance...
I think it’s gone from being fun to being insane. And it’s going to destroy Thanksgiving.
We have a good size dog bed (actually from my GSP that died last year) under the desk that my now Boston Terrier (or ‘Terror’) loves. But we thought about getting him another small one, like we had when we got him as a pup, for out in the LR when we’re watching TV. I’ll have to tell my wife about Petsmart since they’re right by her store. Thanks!
There are people who actually camp out on Wednesday so they don’t miss Black Friday.
They miss Thanksgiving. Do they really think that the things they buy fill up that hole in their soul?
Because isn’t that what it is really about? I must have that thing because I don’t have Christ. And so I have nothing really to be thankful for.
I love black FRiday . I go from the fridge to the Lazy Boy and football , then back to the fridge and so on ...
Not if we tell those idiots who can't overcome their greed that they can celebrate Thanksgiving by themselves...
Wow, a six foot barrel? That was a good deal! ;)
You’re a doll, TomGuy! You did very well on your shopping. The best part is you could do it in your jammies. No lines, no stress.
Ooops. Finger missed the shift key.
No stress, heck!
After part of my order had already shipped, they sent me an email telling me my order was on hold because of a problem with the credit card. [I used the same card on an order from the same company just 3 months ago.]
So I called the number they gave. CS guy pulled up my order, said all was fine, no problems, email was sent in error.
lol
Okay... that was a pain BUT you weren’t pushed/shoved/pepper sprayed/body slammed/kicked/bitten/spit upon. Sounds like a good day to me. LOL!
ML/NJ
I’d rather pay more than put up with the barbarism that is Back Friday.
I’m way ahead of myself this year. I only have a couple more things to buy, and my 8 year old has done at least half of the wrapping already. I went to the grocery store and it was practically empty. We’re having turkey today, because we went for a drive and to a restaurant yesterday.
Now my girls and I are going to curl up on my bed and watch Christmas movies.
Black Friday is a lovely day. :)
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