Posted on 04/18/2010 6:27:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz
The Onion, the United States oldest and most revered satirical newspaper, first published in 1756, has announced that they will close their website and cease all publishing activities, effective immediately.
Said the owner, "No more satire is possible. Nothing can beat the outrageousness of what comes out of Washington today. In a sentence: We are plum out of satire."
Satirical headlines planned by The Onion, such as "Pelosi: Pass Health Care To Find Out What Is In It", "Major Tax Increases To Reverse Recession", and "Obama Bows To Communist Leader", have been superceded by actual news headlines, causing these satirical headlines and corresponding articles to be pulled.
"I was working on this great concept: Obama would win the Nobel Peace Prize within a few weeks of being inaugerated, " said Abe Iggoof, writer for The Onion, "Then it happened."
The National Security Agency monitors Satirical Possibility Quotient, which is the ability to create satire in the United States. Occurances of satire being superceded by real events, it reported, happened at least 189 times from 2009 to 2001, causing the SPQ to plummet to an all-time low of -75.54. Dr. N. Umber Kruntcher, analyst for the NSA SPQ program, testified before the Satire Investigation Panel commissioned by Congress that it made satire nearly impossible.
"How can I work", lamented Sil E. Gouse, "Every time I get a great idea, it's a lead story on MSNBC. I mean, I was going to write something about how the unpopularity of Health Care Reform was a driving factor in its passing, and the next day MSNBC lead with 'Pelosi: Unpopularity of Health Reform Very Positive For Lawmakers'."
The ability to be satirical is projected to plunge further in 2010, said The Onion's owner, making The Onion an unviable business proposition. Bankruptcy has been filed as of Thursday, April 15, and the assets of the firm will be auctioned in the next two months.
[Onion first published in 1756] Said the owner, “No more satire is possible. Nothing can beat the outrageousness of what comes out of Washington today. In a sentence: We are plum out of satire.”
Loony Left encounters updated today [link in post 78]
Other link lists updated today:
Thug-0-crat hit list RED HOT today:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2464640/posts?page=75#75
[and new links above]
Obama-nomics link-list
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2464021/posts
Obama’s Outstanding Record of Dip-lunacy
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2470815/posts
Will soon be updating ...
Hayworth vs. McCain — Primary Headline Roundup
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2456305/posts
[Over 200 posts long now with several hundred links]
Tips — Certifigate heating up [worldnetdaily]. Rush vs. Clinton Showdown [Drudge and WND].
Might be interested in today’s ping [post 81]
lol!
just the headline says a lot!
LOLz! Good one!
Amazing that Someone was able to find humor in the regime. Saturday Night Live should be so talented.
THANKS. INCREDIBLE.
This is great!
What - no government bailout for satirical publications? No Cap and Laugh program? Maybe a government takeover - The Obamonion? Or, considering how pissed off the electorate is, they should change their name to The Leek.
I was thinking that "Obama Bows to Tampa Mayor" would be even more Onionesque, but I guess that's too far out there even for the Big O.
I have to agree with the point that it is very difficult to think of anything more ridiculous than what is actually happening.
Thank u!
Appreciate you!
Paging Willie Green.
5.56mm
Writer33, material right here.
Very good Laz! Excellent idea, needed to be
longer just cause it is so good.
Send it to the Onion.
Indeed....
It is important to believe all you read on the intertubes.
We became Russia. Russia is becoming us. The MSM is becoming the Onion. What is the logical conclusion to these sentences?
Brilliant!
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