Posted on 11/17/2007 4:53:59 PM PST by Mrs. Don-o
Last month, a boy asked my 16-year-old daughter to his school's homecoming dance. She agreed to go, bought a new dress and made a hairdresser appointment.
The boy never bought tickets to the dance. Neither did his friends. They decided that attending homecoming wouldn't be cool, and instead planned to just dress up that night, go out for dinner and then hang out with their dates at someone's house.
My daughter was disappointed, as were her girlfriends. They would have loved to have been taken to the dance, to show off their dresses, to see and be seen.
At 6 p.m. on the night of the boycotted dance, about a dozen of these girls and their dates gathered in one boy's backyard so a mob of parents could photograph them. I found it dispiriting. My heart went out to those girls -- all dressed up with no place to go. Couldn't we, as parents, have demanded that the boys take our daughters to the dance? Why did we stand there, clicking our digital cameras, saying nothing?
I live in suburban Detroit, but this phenomenon is playing out elsewhere in the country, too -- a telling example of the indifference with which young people today view dating, chivalry and romance.
Studies, of course, show more young people skipping romantic relationships in favor of "hooking up." As teens socialize in packs, forgo one-on-one dating and trade sex nonchalantly, it is no stretch to find that boys are asking girls to homecoming and not bothering to take them there. But with so many young people ignoring once-sacrosanct dating rites, how can we respond?
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
It’s true.
In fact, my daughter's high school has a series of dances that begins in the freshman year. It's sponsored by the parent association and a couple of local clubs. They have an etiquette and dance coaching session ahead of time, separate ones for boys and girls.
By the time the senior prom rolls around, the kids are quite confident that they will know what to do, and they really enjoy it. They have a sit down dinner, a dance, and a VERY early breakfast before they all roll home to bed.
Parents these days do everything they can to retard their boys from growing up.
Comment?
New York Times 2004:
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990DE2DB173EF933A05756C0A9629C8B63
San Francisco Chronicle 2007:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/11/16/EDEOTD66H.DTL&hw=parker&sn=003&sc=544
Young men are no longer evolving to be men until they are in their late 20s ( if they are lucky). They stay boys much , much longer, refuse individual responsibility or structure, and think they have an inate wisdom which they must exercise in order to cope.
They have no wisdom, and young ladies will simply evolve to dating much older young men than they are.So do not be surprised to see many more sixteen year old girls wanting to date 24 year old men. Its sure to happen. And unfortunately they are right.
Parents these days do everything they can to retard their boys from growing up.
I have visited some US college campuses recently and it seems to also be a victim of political correctness. Girls and boys dressing up nicely and showing a little class--gone. It all looks so trampy and low class and casual and non commital these days. I watched college (male) freshmen just let heavy doors at book store simply slam close on the face of women behind them coming in--not thought to being a real man. I would say, not only romance, but gentlemanly manners and chivalry seem long dead at these places.
It would take a cultural revolution in this country lasting several decades to repair the damage caused by the feminist movement and the sexual revolution that resulted in making it easier for men to use women and left women and children holding the bag.
It would take a revolution back to the principles and common belief system that existed in America up until the 1960s, and it would take everyone in the country determined to reverse course and change the way they raise their children.
It ain't gonna happen.
Democrats would respond by giving them condoms.
Well, the boys have taken their cues from the girls. You don't act like a lady, you don't get treated like one. Have no expectations and the boys will accommodate you.
The young men of 50 years ago had the same hormones, the same testosterone, the same desires......and yet they bought the corsages and opened the doors for their dates, and walked them to their front doors. Why don't they do that anymore?
Because they know they don't have to, and they'll still get laid.
I would just bag the whole thing myself.
My dad would have politely but firmly told the boy to go away and then driven me to the dance where I would have bought my own ticket and had a good time.
I would also make sure that every person in the school knew that this jerk may talk big but it was just talk.
By the parents of the girls letting the boys get away with that behavior and the parents of the boys tactically approving of it they are saying that it is ok for the boys to lie. They are saying that the girls not worthy of being consulted on what they wanted.
Not good lessons for them to be learning at that age.
And no, from what I have heard, this is not the way it works these days. This is an exception rather then the rule.
...and yet they bought the corsages and opened the doors for their dates, and walked them to their front doors. Why don’t they do that anymore?
Hey, I do all of that!
Of course I’m about 40 years old...
Bunch of no-talent wannabe playas with no-talent wannabe parents. These gals should have dumped them from word “go.”
These young men simply were not raised properly....and their parents should’nt be blaming anyone else for it...
The biggest problem is that most of these young men don’t have models of correct behavior. How can they learn if they’re not taught?
Good Lord, I think of my father and mother, growing up in the Depression, who had lots of friends who liked to sing, dance, play musical instruments, go to movies, ---oh, take walks, even. Knew how to be friends, how to date and how to court ---Knew how to have a good time---
I'm rambling because I don't quite know what to say. This hang out, hook up thing isn't fun or liberated or anything. It's just depressing. Don't you think so?
Why spend good money and time to go to a dance organized by mindless, domineering, timeserving government drones? Instead, you and your friends could go to the type of place, like a good restaurant or movie theatre, or even a private dance hall, that will cater to you and that is nice enough to actually attract people who have choices.
Seems like a simple choice to me. Just because some school board can maintain the Potemkin Village appearance of a fun time does not mean that children should want to be part of that deception.
This sounds wonderful. What kind of high school is this?
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