Parody Kerry's "misinterpreted" insult

N/A | November 2, 2006 | Self (vanity)

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Kerry's "misunderstood" insult demands parody.

"Red Badger" started things off with this zinger:

"If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll get stuck in a FEMA trailer............"

When I read that, I realized that Kerry gave us a setup line for a whole new genre of jokes.

The challenge is complete the sentence: "Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck ...." Here was my contribution:

"... in a ditch with Cindy."

"Redbadger" improved on that one thus:

" ... in a ditch with a B__CH!"

Other contributions so far include:

"...you end up defending insulting elitist snobs!"

"...in the U.S. Senate, getting a contact high from Ted Kennedy."

"...on a roof in New Orleans."

" ...in a CHORUS LINE."

" ... writing editorials for the Seattle P-I for the rest of your life!"

Over to you FReepers -- the possibilities seem endless.

[Theresawithanh]

...you'll end up being a joke, like me (Kerry).

(P.S. Great first vanity post, and the responses are hilarious!)

[Disambiguator]

"..with your finger in a dike."

Don't you mean dyke?

Ouch.

[Always Right]

...you'll get stuck in Chappaquiddick.

[pankot]

..Or with your finger stuck up your a__.

[Sax]

"..with your finger in a dike."

Wow, now we've got three versions, a levee, diagonal cut pliers, and a lickalotpus.

[Rane _H]

Nice choice of tool. My knipex's kick butt! :)

[Rocko]

"...as a Dixie Chick."

[HuntsvilleTxVeteran]

We still have people like this song below, not like jon carry!

Johnny Freedom lyrics

JOHNNY FREEDOM

When our country was a baby and the Redcoats had their way
Is was he who had a party tossin’ tea in Boston Bay
It was he who braved the winter in the days of Valley Forge
Fightin’side by side together with a fella name of George

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our boy

When our country started growin’ and the wagons headed West
When our country called for pioneers his name led all the rest
What a figure in his raw hide coat and hat made of raccoon
Wonder what there was about him made you think of Dan’l Boone

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our boy

If we need a mess of thinkin’ he’s the Lincoln of the day
If we’re fixin’ fer a tussle it’s his muscle all the way
If we need a handsome fella so the ladies hearts can throb
There’s a Yankee Doodle Dandy always handy for the job

Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
You can meet him on each page of history
He’s the spirit of a bear cub
Our country’s pride and joy
Hats off to Johnny Freedom, Johnny Freedom
That’s our, that’s our, that’s our boy

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Thank you & I'm enjoying the responses too.

[Disambiguator]

My knipex's kick butt!

I'm sure they do, but you wouldn't want your finger in (the business end of) one.

:^)

[RWHI]

You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you can do well.

If you don't, you APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE AND GET DIXIE CHICKED!

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

... If you don't, you get stuck in Ramadi in the sights of a laser guided bomb "

(Just inspired by this thread: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1730977/posts)

[MikeHu]

"Education" Kerry said "-- if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck being the Democratic presidential cnadidate."

[SAR_Bill]

...with Teresa Heinz.

[TASMANIANRED]

We can use the humor...

....flipping burgers at McDonalds.

[Sally'sConcerns]

My contribution:

If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll be stuck with Sheila Jackson Lee as your mentor.

[Sally'sConcerns]

Let me fix that since I didn't quite get the full quote:

Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck with Sheila Jackson Lee as your mentor.

[reagan_fanatic]

"If you work hard and study hard...

You'll end up a Conservative.

[TASMANIANRED]

Getting my panties in a twist over that.

Kudos.