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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: Tanniker Smith

We had African-American twins in school several years ago with exactly the same name. He went by the first name and she went by the middle name.


361 posted on 03/30/2006 1:34:29 PM PST by Library Lady
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To: Laura Earl

the twins across the street are Nicholas and Dakota....Nic and Cody. cody got screwed.


362 posted on 03/30/2006 1:34:42 PM PST by bert (K.E. N.P. Slay Pinch)
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To: chemicalman

I once knew a guy named Richard Head. His parents were cruel people.


363 posted on 03/30/2006 1:34:51 PM PST by TXBSAFH (Proud Dad of Twins, What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger!!!!!!)
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To: Mr. Mojo
Potential problems for their kids are an afterthought
True, so true.
You know, if you wanted to do something stupid like this, give them a normal middle name - something they could use later in life.

GE

PS: Good to see you around - I haven't run into you in a while!
364 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:10 PM PST by GrandEagle
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To: TXBubba
Although black folks are the most "creative" when it comes to naming their kids, white folks either get creative with alternative spellings (Sandee, Brytnee) or give them a yuppie name like Cameron (Spanish for Shrimp!) or Parker.
365 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:27 PM PST by Clemenza (I Just Wasn't Made for These Times)
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To: hispanarepublicana
-"cutesie" names on little boys and little girls won't look so "cutesie" with "Governor" or "Senator" in front of those "cutesie" names as will strong names like Victoria and James

One of my Catholic friends gave me the advice once...see how the name sounds with "Father" or "Governor" in front of it. It weeded a lot of names out as they sounded really dorky with titles.

366 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:30 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: TXBSAFH

Richard Allred isn't much better.


367 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:44 PM PST by hispanarepublicana (Hey, Washington, which laws do I get to break?)
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To: twippo

I remember the 18th-Century preachers Cotton Mather and Increase Mather.

Wacky. But not as wacky as naming your kid some of the things noted in the article.


368 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:47 PM PST by pogo101
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To: twippo

I used to listen Lionel, a talk show host in NY, who used to be a school teacher. He swore that he once had a student whose name was spelled Sh*th**d and pronounced Shy-theed.


369 posted on 03/30/2006 1:35:49 PM PST by nycgal
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To: 5Madman2
Reminds me of the Chinese pilot who almost collided with one of our guys a few years back. His name was Wong Wey.
370 posted on 03/30/2006 1:36:56 PM PST by blaquebyrd
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To: Chickensoup

I doubt if LS will think it's funny. *snicker*


371 posted on 03/30/2006 1:37:23 PM PST by Ditter
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To: Don Carlos

My father was an avid reader of Greek literature, knew the Greek language and so forth. In 1967, he stuck me with the name Charissa (a derivative of charis, the greek word for grace). He wanted to name me Penelope Daphne but my mom threatened to leave me at the hospital if he did. My younger brother got a good solid normal name. What's so bad is I had a lisp when I was little and when asked my name it sounded as if I was saying Charitha. Even now when I have to spell it over the phone I am asked if that's "f-f-a" instead of "s-s-a".


372 posted on 03/30/2006 1:37:30 PM PST by PleaseNoMore
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To: twippo

Here! Here!

I had a neighbor who named her (no father in the home) child after a semi-precious gem, but misspelled it on his birth certificate. I don't want to write the exact name, so this is a simulation of how it was spelled. Should have been "amethyst" but was "Emynthanst." And the kid is a boy.


373 posted on 03/30/2006 1:37:38 PM PST by GretchenM (What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? Please meet my friend, Jesus.)
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To: LS

There's actually an "approved list of baby names", in Germany, right now. My daughter's friend had a baby there ( her husband is German, but he is on his way to becoming an American citizen )almost two years ago and thankfully, for her, the name she and her husband had decided to name their son, was on the "approved list" and spelled the way they intended to spell it.


374 posted on 03/30/2006 1:37:41 PM PST by nopardons
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To: BenLurkin
Don't forget Mercedes.

Actually in that case a car company was named after her rather then the other way around.

375 posted on 03/30/2006 1:37:41 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Romantics and pessimists are two sides of the same coin. Both will happily lead you over the cliff)
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To: subterfuge

I can relate to your wife. I left a nice four letter last name to marry into a spelling test everytime I give my new last name.


376 posted on 03/30/2006 1:38:18 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: stainlessbanner

This morning I saw where Kelly Kelly was named asst. Women's Soccer Coach at Bentley College. A '98 grad, she was the school's best ever soccer goalie.
So, you can overcome a bad name.


377 posted on 03/30/2006 1:38:35 PM PST by jjmcgo (Patriarch of the Occident since March 1, 2006)
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To: ShadowAce

I am not making this up - my mom's a nurse and used to work in the newborn nursery. She once told me about a woman who named her newborn girl "Placenta", because right after her delivery she heard the doctor say that word, and she thought it was pretty.


378 posted on 03/30/2006 1:38:38 PM PST by AirForceBrat23
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To: twippo; All

Louis Farrakhan African Name Generator:

http://www.fadetoblack.com/namegenerator/

"Enter below the white man's label from which you wish to unshackle yourself and a true name for our brothers and sisters shall be granted to you."

Diana is "Zaghaw" in African. (Yeah, right.)

"Best of luck, and remember with your new African name you can now enjoy being different like everyone else."


379 posted on 03/30/2006 1:38:54 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: twippo
With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated...

Harsh, but true.

380 posted on 03/30/2006 1:38:57 PM PST by GOPJ (Peace happens when evil is vanquished -- Cal Thomas)
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