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Billy Bashes Bob (Mugabe gets gored by billy goat)
http://zimdaily.com/news2/article.php/20051221063315837.html ^
Posted on 12/23/2005 7:13:05 PM PST by gop4lyf
A billy goat did some rough, instant justice to the President when his motorcade stopped to refuel en-route to the eastern resorts of Nyanga. The president, popularly known as Bob got out to stretch his legs, and speak to a couple locals. He was holding a bottle of water, when a Billy goat developed a profound interest and chose to pursue it. Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel. Mugabe's notorious bodyguards seemed unable to prevent the attack as the goat lunged towards the president, perhaps the goat should be handling his security in future. By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.
It is not clear why the president was visiting Nyanga but Zimdaily understands Mugabe has a secret passion for gambling. He is rumoured to have visited Montclair Hotel in Nyanga endless times to fulfill his gambling desires, as he cannot use the facilities in Harare Showgrounds for security reasons. Grace Mugabe, the president's young wife, is believed to be in Pretoria doing what she does best, last minute shopping for Xmas.
Rumours are mounting that the couple have a strained relationship and to be in separate countries so close to the festive season is a telling indicator that this is indeed likely to be true. It is almost common knowledge that they no longer sleep in the same bed, so this twist in events is unlikely to make that much of a difference to a marriage that seems to revolve around convenience.
The president is also rumoured to be in the process of acquiring a private jet to allow him to make more frequent, long distance trips more securely and to reduce the burden of fueling hassles. He is expected to join Grace and the children in South Africa once the doctors give him the all clear.
TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: mugabe; ownage; owned; pwn3d; pwn4g3
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To: perfect stranger
Cry scrotum and let slip the goats of war.
21
posted on
12/23/2005 7:18:45 PM PST
by
cripplecreek
(Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
To: cripplecreek
To: gop4lyf
"Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel."
*snicker* I've heard of scrotum piercing, but "Bob" must be trying to start a new fad with the large bowel piercing.
23
posted on
12/23/2005 7:20:15 PM PST
by
DocRock
To: kingu
"You talkin' to me?"
OMG! Teh goat was a CIA operative!
24
posted on
12/23/2005 7:20:54 PM PST
by
Gordongekko909
(I know. Let's cut his WHOLE BODY off.)
To: MikeinIraq
25
posted on
12/23/2005 7:21:18 PM PST
by
Paul_Denton
(The U.S. should adopt the policy of Oom Shmoom: Israeli policy where no one gives a sh*t about U.N.)
To: gop4lyf
26
posted on
12/23/2005 7:21:49 PM PST
by
i_dont_chat
(Bush lied, people dyed. Their fingers. [Stolen from Mark Steyn].)
To: gop4lyf
It must be one of our CIA goats.
27
posted on
12/23/2005 7:22:28 PM PST
by
scott7278
(Before I give you the benefit of my reply, I'd like to know what we're talking about.)
To: gop4lyf
"The president, popularly known as Bob..."
28
posted on
12/23/2005 7:23:49 PM PST
by
DocRock
To: gop4lyf
29
posted on
12/23/2005 7:25:20 PM PST
by
ExpatGator
(Progressivism: A polyp on the colon politic.)
To: Gordongekko909
The goat needs more cowbell.
30
posted on
12/23/2005 7:25:58 PM PST
by
cripplecreek
(Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
To: gop4lyf
Sometimes it's really hard to whip up some sympathy.
31
posted on
12/23/2005 7:26:04 PM PST
by
RobinOfKingston
(Man, that's stupid...even by congressional standards.)
To: gop4lyf
You'd think an agricultural specialist like "Farmer Bob" would have avoided a problem like that.
32
posted on
12/23/2005 7:26:47 PM PST
by
VadeRetro
(Liberalism is a cancer on society. Creationism is a cancer on conservatism.)
Comment #33 Removed by Moderator
To: VadeRetro
34
posted on
12/23/2005 7:27:34 PM PST
by
gop4lyf
Comment #35 Removed by Moderator
To: gop4lyf
I hope that goat tore his marble bag off.
To: gop4lyf
A goat??
Well, where's a cape buffalo when you need one?
37
posted on
12/23/2005 7:28:51 PM PST
by
labette
(When policemen break the law, there isn't any law. Just a fight for survival.- Billy Jack)
To: cripplecreek
Don't make me swing this goat thread off on a wild cowbell tangent, now....:)
38
posted on
12/23/2005 7:29:00 PM PST
by
Salamander
(Cursed With Second Sight)
To: cripplecreek
More cowbell...
MORE COWBELL?!
MORE COWBELL!
39
posted on
12/23/2005 7:29:37 PM PST
by
Gordongekko909
(I know. Let's cut his WHOLE BODY off.)
To: gop4lyf
The MDC should make a goat their symbol.
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