Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Billy Bashes Bob (Mugabe gets gored by billy goat)
http://zimdaily.com/news2/article.php/20051221063315837.html ^

Posted on 12/23/2005 7:13:05 PM PST by gop4lyf

A billy goat did some rough, instant justice to the President when his motorcade stopped to refuel en-route to the eastern resorts of Nyanga. The president, popularly known as Bob got out to stretch his legs, and speak to a couple locals. He was holding a bottle of water, when a Billy goat developed a profound interest and chose to pursue it. Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel. Mugabe's notorious bodyguards seemed unable to prevent the attack as the goat lunged towards the president, perhaps the goat should be handling his security in future. By the time they reached Christmas pass outside mutare, the President was in horrible pain and had to be rushed to a secret location in Mutare for medical treatment.

It is not clear why the president was visiting Nyanga but Zimdaily understands Mugabe has a secret passion for gambling. He is rumoured to have visited Montclair Hotel in Nyanga endless times to fulfill his gambling desires, as he cannot use the facilities in Harare Showgrounds for security reasons. Grace Mugabe, the president's young wife, is believed to be in Pretoria doing what she does best, last minute shopping for Xmas.

Rumours are mounting that the couple have a strained relationship and to be in separate countries so close to the festive season is a telling indicator that this is indeed likely to be true. It is almost common knowledge that they no longer sleep in the same bed, so this twist in events is unlikely to make that much of a difference to a marriage that seems to revolve around convenience.

The president is also rumoured to be in the process of acquiring a private jet to allow him to make more frequent, long distance trips more securely and to reduce the burden of fueling hassles. He is expected to join Grace and the children in South Africa once the doctors give him the all clear.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: mugabe; ownage; owned; pwn3d; pwn4g3
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-72 next last

1 posted on 12/23/2005 7:13:07 PM PST by gop4lyf
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

This is a joke, right?

It must be.


2 posted on 12/23/2005 7:14:11 PM PST by FairOpinion (Merry Christmas!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MikeinIraq

Dictator gets PWN3D


3 posted on 12/23/2005 7:14:21 PM PST by Paul_Denton (The U.S. should adopt the policy of Oom Shmoom: Israeli policy where no one gives a sh*t about U.N.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Was the goat white or black?


4 posted on 12/23/2005 7:14:35 PM PST by atomicpossum (Replies should be as pedantic as possible. I love that so much.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Lets hope the Grim Reaper pays him a visit


5 posted on 12/23/2005 7:15:07 PM PST by MJY1288 (THE DEMOCRATS OFFER NOTHING FOR THE FUTURE AND THEY LIE ABOUT THE PAST)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: SevenofNine

Goat in the news ping!


6 posted on 12/23/2005 7:15:08 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Is it wrong to ask for sepsis for Christmas?


7 posted on 12/23/2005 7:15:38 PM PST by domenad (In all things, in all ways, at all times, let honor guide me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Poetic justice would be the animals death from infection. The goat should be declared leader for life.


8 posted on 12/23/2005 7:15:57 PM PST by cripplecreek (Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Pierced his SCROTUM and LARGE BOWEL?

I've seen some mean goats, but I've never seen one with RAZOR SHARP HORNS.


9 posted on 12/23/2005 7:16:01 PM PST by Vicomte13 (Et alors?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Good for the goat, too bad it didn't kill him.


10 posted on 12/23/2005 7:16:21 PM PST by Vicki (Washington State where anyone can vote .... illegals, non-residents or anyone just passing through)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FairOpinion

I hope it's not a joke.


11 posted on 12/23/2005 7:16:24 PM PST by gop4lyf
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Let loose the goats of war. LOL


12 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:25 PM PST by perfect stranger
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

It's a Christmas miracle!


13 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:29 PM PST by Gordongekko909 (I know. Let's cut his WHOLE BODY off.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

The goat only gets his money after Mugabe bites the dust.


14 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:36 PM PST by steveegg (Take two - throw those long knives at the DemonRATs and lieberals - and include the RINOs)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: FairOpinion

That's gonna leave a mark.


15 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:37 PM PST by TASMANIANRED (I've lost my tagline and don't know where to find it.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf
Mugabe's mugger be a goat.
16 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:39 PM PST by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghanistan Honor Roll students.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf
Whilst Bob swung the bottle at the goat, it quickly and sharply pierced Bob's scrotum, and large bowel.

0wn3d!!!11
17 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:44 PM PST by West Coast Conservative (Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Paul_Denton

I guess the "goat" of the story is well, the Goat :)


18 posted on 12/23/2005 7:17:55 PM PST by MikefromOhio (It's amazing that a guy says he wants to nuke parts of America ON FR, but he doesn't get zotted)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

Did anyone smuggle the goat out of the country? I'd like to pay for the ticket for the goat to go visit a particular South American nation.


19 posted on 12/23/2005 7:18:02 PM PST by kingu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gop4lyf

You gotta be kidding.

Kidding is probly an appropriate word in this case.


20 posted on 12/23/2005 7:18:11 PM PST by 76834 (There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-72 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson