Posted on 11/25/2005 10:42:22 AM PST by Congressman Billybob
My wife, Kemberly, has left. That’s ordinary enough. It happens a few million times a year, assuming that half of all American divorces are the wife’s idea. But this is about the why, not the what, of that decision.
The why is unique, and extraordinary. If I were she, and she were I, I would do the same thing. (Work on it. That sentence is grammatically correct.)
My wife has been offered the job of Head Chef of a new restaurant out of town, to be built and run to her specifications. To that you say, well, some commuter marriages work. Not this time. The restaurant is a few miles outside Pago Pago in American Samoa. And that is 8,000 miles from my home in the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Our situation raises an interesting philosophical question. Would you, should you, leave your husband/wife if the chance of a lifetime – the chance of several lifetimes – came along?
Here’s our story. The Internet recounted its beginning, so it’s appropriate it should recount its end. We began with serendipity, a Newsweek recommendation of my column that brought me together with a lady from Indiana who read it. We end with serendipity, also.
Anyone with skills as a chef, and manager, and caterer, would jump at the opportunity to run a brand-new, four-star restaurant, if such an opening came to his/her attention. A fair number of you are closet chefs. You watch the Food Network. You think maybe you could chuck your humdrum day job and build a satisfying future with a special food product, or a brand-new restaurant. You know who you are. I saw you smile.
But opportunities like that aren’t advertised in the paper. Like much else which appears in the newspapers, things aren’t what they claim. You can rest assured that a help wanted ad that says it offers the “Opportunity of a Lifetime,” doesn’t.
Here’s the story behind this story. Back in June, Kem made a business trip to American Samoa. The population is about 67,000, but of those the ones who come from mainland US or other nations are a smaller group and everyone knows everybody. When anyone new shows up, the residents get to know him/her promptly. It’s the equivalent of waiting for the stage in the American West a century ago.
Anyway, it turns out that a group of businessmen were interested in creating a new, four-star restaurant near Pago Pago. They knew what they wanted, but not who would do it. Enter a talented woman from North Carolina. Everybody invites each other in that group home for dinner. (There ain’t a lot of nighttime entertainment in Samoa.)
So, the folks on the island found out that Kem is a fine cook. They also found out that she knows her way around commercial equipment and management for kitchens, and multiple styles of cooking from many nations. To make a long story short, she had an opportunity to become Head Chef, and partner, with full creative control.
She looked at three possible locations for the restaurant, two for new construction and one a mansion with wrap-around porches overlooking the Pacific. Think of the architecture and environment described in Somerset Maugham’s famous short story, “Rain.” He was living on Samoa when he wrote that.
Kem has not described to me how long it took her to consider this offer that came out of the blue. Maybe she didn’t want to hurt my feelings worse by telling me that her delay was measured in nanoseconds rather than days or weeks. In any event, she returned to North Carolina, and immediately told me the good news (or bad news, depending on your viewpoint).
I understood right away how incredible this opportunity was for her, and why she wanted to accept it. So, instead of getting hysterical, I’ve worked with her on such details as getting a long-term, no-cut contract, and possible copyright issues with the name of the restaurant. So there you have it; probably the most extraordinary reason for the end of a marriage that you’ve ever heard.
Will I miss Kem? You bet. Do I wish her well? Absolutely. Since many readers of my columns are friends of both of us, drop her a line care of my address and I’ll get it to her. And if you’re in Pago Pago in about 14 months, look her up at the club, have “a Thanksgiving dinner that can’t be beat,” and say hello.
About the Author: John Armor is a First Amendment attorney and author who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. John_Armor@aya.yale.edu
Yusef found the kishka.
Wasn't this an episode of "Friends?"
Oh, just trying to lighten the mood a little. Some things are not meant to be, though I completely disagree with your rationalization as to why she's left you, and/or why you're letting her go.
You might need to face the fact that there's more likely than not someone else in the picture. There usually is.
And I don't want to see a 'Why We're Breaking Up' Vanity Opus from Cyborg and Petronski in the future either, LOL! ;)
My prayers are with both of you this evening, that the Lord will bring whatever is best for each of you into your lives.
American Samoa is the place. My Samoan friends who told me about their favorite beach feast are from there. Is it not true that New Zealand corned beef is a big seller there? The 5-pound tins are big sellers in Hawaii too, along with the favorite Spam.
Until death or 'opportunity of a lifetime' do us part?
Troll.
(c;
(Well -- it is Classic Troll Behavior{tm}!)
Sure is. Strange, I tells ya!
No.
Hmmmm.
Good luck to both of you, but I can't help but feel that much more is going on than is being stated.
I hope you will both take some time to talk and consider carefully what each is gaining and losing. If the feelings between you are strong enough, I sincerely hope you will figure out some way to stay together.
Restaurants come and go, but a good mate is truly a very rare blessing.
You want macabre, try this on for size: yesterday, my ex-husband helped me unload furniture. Without being asked, without being paid, and without so much as a word of complaint. Just because I needed the assist.
Where did he unload furniture, in Pago Pago? If her State flag is any clue, she left NC for Tennessee.
You nailed that one! I have a feeling we'll all be listening to Paul Harvey someday and get "The Rest Of The Story".
What say you?
The right spouse, the "happily ever after" one, should be "the chance of the lifetime."
Not a job.
I'm very sorry that your marriage didn't work out (at her choice). May you find that "happily ever after" lady in your lifetime. You deserve better.
I admire loyalty and devotion above ALL other things....:)
&&
Yikes! I admire loyalty and devotion above many other things, but I would not jump on the pyre. I might go through fire for his live body but not for his dead one. :')
Lots of people leave because they think "the grass is greener" in some other pasture.
Most people don't need to go to the other end of the globe to find greener grass, however.
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