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SUVs : The Death of the Dinosaurs (Vanity)
grey_whiskers | 7-17-2005 | grey_whiskers

Posted on 07/17/2005 1:25:15 PM PDT by grey_whiskers

Let me be the first to predict the imminent death of the SUV's as a preferred form of transportation. This is not because the drivers are Starbucks-sipping yuppie scum, nor because they are chain-smoking over-the-hill-trophy wives, nor because they are preoccupied with their cell phones (though these are all true).

It is because the SUV's, despite their name, are not SPORT utility vehicles, but specialty UTILITY vehicles, good for ferrying half of a boy scout troop, or hauling home several months' salary worth of goods from Best Buy or from Home Depot in a single trip. In other words, they are large, lumbering, and specialized. Just like the dinosaurs. And like the dinosaurs, when the environment to which they have laboriously adapted changes--when their ecosystem changes—they will go extinct.

Just what is it that will spell the end of these suburban monsters? I used to think it was a spike in gas prices: surely no one can continue driving an 8- or 12- mpg beast in the face of $2.00+ per gallon charges at the pump. But I was wrong. These vehicles are status symbols. They are not Babe Mobiles, like a BMW roadster; these are what you buy after you have landed the babe and she has domesticated you, when you want to impress other couples. I have heard a yuppie explain this very point, when asked why he didn't abandon his new Durango, even though he was burning two gallons of gas a day, just commuting to work. "That's not the statement I'm trying to make." The automakers (even with 0% financing) must need supercomputers just to count their lease payments. And the “now all customers can have the employee discount” sales aren’t helping either.

Well, if it isn't gas, what will spell the end of the SUV? I think the answer is, when they outlive their natural utility (no pun intended). What are the SUV's used for, really? Certainly not (except maybe the Xterra or Hummer) for serious off-road work. They cost too much to buy, and you don't want to damage a leased vehicle! As noted earlier, SUV's excel at hauling around small people, buying stuff at Home Depot, and impressing the neighbors. When will these functions die off?

Let us remember that ever since the 60's, the vanguard of every cultural movement has been the baby boomers--from rock 'n roll, through Doonesbury, to career women, and SUV's. Boomers have delayed parenthood until late in their lives; now they have children at the same time as they have money. Boomers like a large house, they want a large vehicle to carry the furniture and hardware; they use the SUV for soccer practice, piano practice, singing lessons, birthdays, you name it.

But children grow older; they want their own cars. (How many people really let a 16-year old drive a $40,000 vehicle that they don't even own? And how much is the insurance?) Finally, the children move out. Now there is no need at all for ferrying the children; and the large house out in the 'burbs begins to feel 'empty'…”Honey, maybe we should look into a condominium, or a townhouse?” And as the large house is downsized, there too goes the need for a wheeled dinosaur to haul lumber, furniture, plumbing. The day of the dinosaurs is done. And (by the way) the automakers will have to turn to another guaranteed profit center. Caveat emptor.

(Full disclosure: SUV's are also good for mashing subcompacts under their tires like a dinosaur stomping a frightened rabbit. The author drives a Nissan Sentra. This fact has nothing whatsoever to do with the contents of this article.)


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: attackofthedinsaurs; babyboomers; dinsaur; dinsaurs; energy; gasoline; humor; suv; whiskersvanity
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To: EGPWS
I use the phone and Internet to pay others to supply the truck for my needs these days.

Life's a b!tch when one is obligated with the freedom of decision.

We regularly go out dirt biking. Not too practical getting someone else to haul our bikes, when we can just throw them in the pickup. Now that would be a b!tch.

141 posted on 07/17/2005 3:29:11 PM PDT by Black Tooth
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To: Grampa Dave
"When did the first Suburban come out. I'm 66, and I can remember seeing forever."

Via Google:

"While GM had introduced the Suburban in 1935, it principally functioned as a vehicle for commercial use. Like many panel trucks and station-wagons of the day, it was designed as an off-road vehicle."

I am amazed!!! I knew it had been around a long time, but had no idea it was THAT long ago.

142 posted on 07/17/2005 3:31:19 PM PDT by Wonder Warthog (The Hog of Steel)
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To: Grampa Dave

They had a commercial about it recently... I just did a quick search and the first one I saw was a 1947. But they might go back all the way to the '30s. Not sure.


143 posted on 07/17/2005 3:31:23 PM PDT by johnb838 (Dominus Vobiscum)
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To: TexasTransplant
Hate to say it but... the worst vehicle I ever owned was a Pickup, sort of, it was an El Camino, fun to drive but worthless for hauling anything over 500lbs or any more than 2 skinny people)

El Camino were never met to haul much. They did make great hot rods however. My brother built one in the late 70s, super nice, that would do wheelies.

144 posted on 07/17/2005 3:31:42 PM PDT by Black Tooth
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To: mindspy
SUV's should have been named VIAD's (Vehicles for Insecure, Arrogant Dorks)<

A well placed comment to further one's realization that a drastic change in our educational system is desperately needed.

145 posted on 07/17/2005 3:32:17 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: mewzilla
as for shuttling around vast quantities of kids, said kids would be safer in certain types of crashes in a passenger sedan or a minivan than they would be in an SUV.

I agree. I have a kid and a tan mini van. I think it's legally required. One day I walked out of Babies R Us and tried to find my car. EVERY CAR IN THE LOT was a tan mini van. Talk about trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Anyway, I take the SUV's are evil arguments as an attack on my tan mini van, as the arguments against them are virtually identical. Except that a tan mini van wouldn't roll over if you hit it with a Sherman tank.

146 posted on 07/17/2005 3:33:41 PM PDT by Question Liberal Authority ("There is no terrorist threat! There is no terrorist threat!" - Michael Moore)
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To: Grampa Dave

I don't think they're allowed to arrest illegals for anything anymore here.


147 posted on 07/17/2005 3:34:22 PM PDT by johnb838 (Dominus Vobiscum)
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To: grey_whiskers

Here's my question -- why would someone own a vehicle that's "over built" for their primary use and presents a financial hardship as far as filling the tank is concerned?



148 posted on 07/17/2005 3:35:25 PM PDT by durasell (Friends are so alarming, My lover's never charming...)
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To: Black Tooth
We regularly go out dirt biking. Not too practical getting someone else to haul our bikes, when we can just throw them in the pickup. Now that would be a b!tch.

I opted for an "enduro" so I can assume that the "sierra club" would promote my interests. ; )

149 posted on 07/17/2005 3:35:45 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: johnb838

Here, they will sieze the car, pickup, truck, suv or bike if they have no drivers license, no insurance and did something illegal while driving.


150 posted on 07/17/2005 3:36:34 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (The MSM is trying to make us believe, Judith Miller is in jail to protect Karl Rove!)
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To: grey_whiskers

One major problem with your hypothesis:

As soon as today's parents are finished raising their bratty kids, the bratty kids are dumping *their* children on the parents while they "find themselves".

A lot of grandparents are surrogate, if not actual, parents to a second generation.


151 posted on 07/17/2005 3:39:14 PM PDT by Tall_Texan (Visit Club Gitmo - The World's Only Air-Conditioned Gulag.)
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To: johnb838

"Loaded full of illegals?"

Not mine!

Not only wouldn't I lete one in the truck but if a customer even suggest hiring one I refuse to do any more work for him.


152 posted on 07/17/2005 3:40:11 PM PDT by dalereed
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To: durasell
why would someone own a vehicle that's "over built" for their primary use and presents a financial hardship as far as filling the tank is concerned?

Because they want to own it and have endured the suffering to get to the point of being able to do so!

When the he!! did free enterprise and personal freedom take a gasp for breath to the mantra of socialist dictation that conveyed our system as so evil?

153 posted on 07/17/2005 3:42:29 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: grey_whiskers

You overlook one simple fact. We are the boomers. We get what we want and we never grow old. Wait til you see what we can do to this country when we take over the AARP.

the only way we'll turn in our SUV's is for a fleet of Class A motor homes. We'll pass legislation forcing sunsidized senior pricing on motor fuel. We'll vote for increases in our own social security.


The politicains are such whores and now they are OURS for the taking. It's going to be great.


154 posted on 07/17/2005 3:42:43 PM PDT by cousin01 (Arizona - Good job on Prop 200. Now be prepared to defend it)
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To: Maria S

I know we can't swing a dead cat without hitting one can we. But ya have to remember this was Chevy Suburban City before they knew what a SUV was.....:o)

Hope yer well Maria.......Stay Safe !


155 posted on 07/17/2005 3:44:18 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ©)
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To: Grampa Dave
It becomes even more complicated with the required infant seats and booster seats.

Right. Where I live, it's illegal to have passengers under 13 in the front seat. Say you have 2 kids and 2 of their friends want to tag along with you. You CANNOT legally fit them into a regular passenger car.

Recently, we wanted a car with built in child seats. A regular passenger car, not a mini van. The ONLY car we could find that had this option was a $130,000 Mercedes.

156 posted on 07/17/2005 3:48:45 PM PDT by Question Liberal Authority ("There is no terrorist threat! There is no terrorist threat!" - Michael Moore)
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To: Grampa Dave

There are many of us SUV drivers who do not drink Starbucks, nor haul the soccer team around. I live on the side of a mountain and the snow gets deep. The county snowplows do not come to our little gravel road, therefore, at times, I need the all wheel drive to bust through the drifts, just to get to town to take my elderly parents to the Dr., buy groceries, etc... No apologies for having one. I need it.

Mr. RR drives a Ford F150, four wheel drive, back and forth to our business (which is another very un-politically correct business...we rape the woods and create wonderful cabinets, gunstocks, termite traps, cutting boards, etc. etc.) The Sierra Club hates us.

BTW, my Toyota Highlander averages 24 MPG.


157 posted on 07/17/2005 3:53:38 PM PDT by Rushmore Rocks
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To: EGPWS

It's a mistake to believe that free enterprise and personal freedom are free of idiotic behavior.

I was outside a music club several weeks ago and talked to one of the hip-hop guys about his tricked out SUV. He told me he spends $350 a month to gas it up. When I said, "that's a lot of money" he answered, "Ain't nothing. I spend more than that in tips." That's fine for him, he can afford it. But $350 is still a lot of money to a lot of people.

My point being -- my original point -- people who can't easily afford an SUV should think twice about owning or buying one.


158 posted on 07/17/2005 3:54:12 PM PDT by durasell (Friends are so alarming, My lover's never charming...)
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To: Grampa Dave; SierraWasp
ROFL!!! I was listening the radio -KFI - as I was out last night and the were interviewing a knowledgeable person who was talking about the incoming flood of new cars built in China...and it is about to happen, been going thru their final tests and certification in Arizona as we speak , he said, ...first vehicles may be knockoffs on the Lexus brand but 30 %^ lower in price, no mention of SUV's however....

I have a hankering for a Ford Excursion myself, so maybe they will build a knockoff of that!

159 posted on 07/17/2005 3:59:01 PM PDT by Ernest_at_the_Beach (History is soon Forgotten,)
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To: Question Liberal Authority

"Right. Where I live, it's illegal to have passengers under 13 in the front seat. Say you have 2 kids and 2 of their friends want to tag along with you. You CANNOT legally fit them into a regular passenger car."

Our Dil is arguing with our son/her husband that she needs an 8 passenger SUV to handle all of the kids even with booster seats. She gets into a lot of car pooling both planned and unplanned. Their Explorer faces the same situation that you are describing.

She and most of her female friends don't like vans and prefer the bigger SUVs.

If we go to a restaurant with them (4 adults and a 4 and 6 year old, we have to drive two vehicles.


160 posted on 07/17/2005 4:01:17 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (The MSM is trying to make us believe, Judith Miller is in jail to protect Karl Rove!)
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