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SUVs : The Death of the Dinosaurs (Vanity)
grey_whiskers | 7-17-2005 | grey_whiskers

Posted on 07/17/2005 1:25:15 PM PDT by grey_whiskers

Let me be the first to predict the imminent death of the SUV's as a preferred form of transportation. This is not because the drivers are Starbucks-sipping yuppie scum, nor because they are chain-smoking over-the-hill-trophy wives, nor because they are preoccupied with their cell phones (though these are all true).

It is because the SUV's, despite their name, are not SPORT utility vehicles, but specialty UTILITY vehicles, good for ferrying half of a boy scout troop, or hauling home several months' salary worth of goods from Best Buy or from Home Depot in a single trip. In other words, they are large, lumbering, and specialized. Just like the dinosaurs. And like the dinosaurs, when the environment to which they have laboriously adapted changes--when their ecosystem changes—they will go extinct.

Just what is it that will spell the end of these suburban monsters? I used to think it was a spike in gas prices: surely no one can continue driving an 8- or 12- mpg beast in the face of $2.00+ per gallon charges at the pump. But I was wrong. These vehicles are status symbols. They are not Babe Mobiles, like a BMW roadster; these are what you buy after you have landed the babe and she has domesticated you, when you want to impress other couples. I have heard a yuppie explain this very point, when asked why he didn't abandon his new Durango, even though he was burning two gallons of gas a day, just commuting to work. "That's not the statement I'm trying to make." The automakers (even with 0% financing) must need supercomputers just to count their lease payments. And the “now all customers can have the employee discount” sales aren’t helping either.

Well, if it isn't gas, what will spell the end of the SUV? I think the answer is, when they outlive their natural utility (no pun intended). What are the SUV's used for, really? Certainly not (except maybe the Xterra or Hummer) for serious off-road work. They cost too much to buy, and you don't want to damage a leased vehicle! As noted earlier, SUV's excel at hauling around small people, buying stuff at Home Depot, and impressing the neighbors. When will these functions die off?

Let us remember that ever since the 60's, the vanguard of every cultural movement has been the baby boomers--from rock 'n roll, through Doonesbury, to career women, and SUV's. Boomers have delayed parenthood until late in their lives; now they have children at the same time as they have money. Boomers like a large house, they want a large vehicle to carry the furniture and hardware; they use the SUV for soccer practice, piano practice, singing lessons, birthdays, you name it.

But children grow older; they want their own cars. (How many people really let a 16-year old drive a $40,000 vehicle that they don't even own? And how much is the insurance?) Finally, the children move out. Now there is no need at all for ferrying the children; and the large house out in the 'burbs begins to feel 'empty'…”Honey, maybe we should look into a condominium, or a townhouse?” And as the large house is downsized, there too goes the need for a wheeled dinosaur to haul lumber, furniture, plumbing. The day of the dinosaurs is done. And (by the way) the automakers will have to turn to another guaranteed profit center. Caveat emptor.

(Full disclosure: SUV's are also good for mashing subcompacts under their tires like a dinosaur stomping a frightened rabbit. The author drives a Nissan Sentra. This fact has nothing whatsoever to do with the contents of this article.)


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: attackofthedinsaurs; babyboomers; dinsaur; dinsaurs; energy; gasoline; humor; suv; whiskersvanity
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To: Ichneumon
Now let's see you take seven people to the airport in your pickup truck.

My Ford F-150 4x4 can seat 6 adults, and haul a refrigerator and stove easily with room to spare.

Or 6 adults and three dirt bikes.

Lets see you do that with an SUV.

101 posted on 07/17/2005 2:30:56 PM PDT by Black Tooth
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To: Grampa Dave
The GM "Suburban" has been around for decades and decades, far pre-dating the current "SUV" fad, and its like will be around long after."

The IH "Travel All" was the fore runner to the SUV and it no longer exists.

Some paver's of the way to progression are lost to changing times, however their contribution to that change is worth recognition as the X-1 is to supersonic jet travel.

102 posted on 07/17/2005 2:36:01 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: Xenalyte
The issue is that SUV drivers can't drive the damn things. If you SUV drivers would STAY INSIDE THE FREAKIN' LINES, I would have no problem with you.

Amen

98% of the drivers out there can't even handle a car competently, nevermind a SUV

There is one section of the Garden State Parkway here in New Jersey that's curvy and it's always gets backed up because SUVs have to slam their brakes to go through the curves.

On 3 lane highways SUVs should be barred from the left lane like other trucks.

103 posted on 07/17/2005 2:40:26 PM PDT by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: Thombo2
Whatever happened to them?

They were replaced by the SUV and the minivan before the tirade of anti-American progression became the spotlight of the MSM.

Thus, the good ol' "station wagon" has been put to rest without controversy.

104 posted on 07/17/2005 2:40:56 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: Black Tooth
My Ford F-150 4x4 can seat 6 adults, and haul a refrigerator and stove easily with room to spare.

What are you trying to do, put fifth wheelers out of business? ; )

105 posted on 07/17/2005 2:43:21 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: qam1
98% of the drivers out there can't even handle a car competently, nevermind a SUV

The makings of an elitist alert you are....

106 posted on 07/17/2005 2:45:50 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: EGPWS

Just making a point, that Pickup trucks are probably the most practical vehicle on the road.


107 posted on 07/17/2005 2:46:37 PM PDT by Black Tooth
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To: Grampa Dave

I got to drive a Prius (some audience members at my carillon recital offered), and the only way I can describe my experience is that the car feels flimsy.

Weird thing to say about a hunk of metal, but it just didn't feel well-made.


108 posted on 07/17/2005 2:46:48 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: patton

Call Mr. Plow, that's my name . . . that name again is Mr. Plow!


109 posted on 07/17/2005 2:47:38 PM PDT by Xenalyte (Anything is possible when you don't understand how anything happens.)
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To: grey_whiskers
My father survived a collision (not his fault) in this SUV. He might have had serious injuries in a smaller car.


110 posted on 07/17/2005 2:48:24 PM PDT by Paleo Conservative (Hey! Hey! Ho! Ho! Andrew Heyward's got to go!)
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To: Black Tooth
Just making a point, that Pickup trucks are probably the most practical vehicle on the road.

Don't mistake my point my FRiend, I owned a "pick-up" for years, however I have found that what I used it for in the past I no longer have use for.

I use the phone and Internet to pay others to supply the truck for my needs these days.

Life's a b!tch when one is obligated with the freedom of decision....

111 posted on 07/17/2005 2:52:20 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: EGPWS

"Put to rest w/out controversy"We had a Ford Fairlane w/a 351 cu engine.A real gas guzzler but power to spare.The back seat folded down,lots of room for lumber,groceries,etc..with the seats up carried all 6 of us comfortably.Was my car to use when home for summer vacation.Musta had close to 200k when the transmission went out.RIP


112 posted on 07/17/2005 2:53:03 PM PDT by Thombo2
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To: EGPWS

"The IH "Travel All" was the fore runner to the SUV and it no longer exists."

I remember those IH's. What was the first and last year.


113 posted on 07/17/2005 3:01:27 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (The MSM is trying to make us believe, Judith Miller is in jail to protect Karl Rove!)
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To: Grampa Dave

Gramps

I'm pretty sure there were Suburbans in the 1950s. They were way different than they are now though.


114 posted on 07/17/2005 3:04:51 PM PDT by Armedanddangerous (Zombies man.....they creep me out..)
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To: Grampa Dave; Dog Gone; Southack; Ernest_at_the_Beach; BOBTHENAILER
Hoooooo boy!!! I just revel in your rants!!! And that was one of your better ones!!!

I mean, when you rant in such a way that there cannot possibly be ANY legitimate response to the contrary without looking totally silly... Well, THAT's what I call a classic, dispositive RANT!!!

In other words... Your rants run the table and RULE!!!

115 posted on 07/17/2005 3:05:41 PM PDT by SierraWasp (What other nation could spear a comet in deep space on independence holiday? God Bless America!!!)
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To: Grampa Dave
Keep bitching and moaning about SUV drivers and owners, we know that we are second class citizens in the eyes of the mighty ones. You have the right to say anything, and I have the right to say BS.

Look at the bright side Grampa Dave.

These whiners are prevalent because they can "afford" to whine and and be prevalent.

They just don't understand what has been sacrificed and who have suffered for them to be allowed to spew gibberish freely.

116 posted on 07/17/2005 3:06:06 PM PDT by EGPWS
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To: staytrue
I do like riding high

For me, in Houston, I will ride high. I will never have a low riding car here again. We get high water too often and the difference in clearance may be the difference between my getting home and spending the night under a gas station awning, or worse. I don't drive an SUV but I drive one of those pickup trucks that might as well be. Eapecially mileagewise.

117 posted on 07/17/2005 3:10:30 PM PDT by johnb838 (Dominus Vobiscum)
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To: EGPWS
98% of the drivers out there can't even handle a car competently, nevermind a SUV

The makings of an elitist alert you are....

Without a doubt, I am elite, because unlike all you other idiots I actually KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.

I was actually being generous because if anything 98% is a low estimate

118 posted on 07/17/2005 3:10:35 PM PDT by qam1 (There's been a huge party. All plates and the bottles are empty, all that's left is the bill to pay)
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To: grey_whiskers

What a crock....


119 posted on 07/17/2005 3:13:32 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. ©)
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To: RightOnline

Who do you think you are having seven children? CFS ought to investigsate you.


120 posted on 07/17/2005 3:14:35 PM PDT by johnb838 (Dominus Vobiscum)
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