Posted on 08/15/2004 7:46:04 AM PDT by GaretGarrett
Election: It's the Cat People vs. the Dog Lovers Written by Burt Prelutsky Sunday, August 15, 2004
All the pundits who are forecasting the November election, busily analyzing blue states, red states, and those all-important purple swing states, are spinning their wheels. At the risk of sounding even more presumptuous than usual, I contend that they are wasting their time and yours. If you want to know who's going to emerge victorious, all you really need to do is find out how many people have cats living with them and how many have dogs. The cat people, I have decided, will go overwhelmingly for Kerry; the dog lovers will do the same for Bush. It isn't simply that women, who often prefer felines to canines, tend to vote Democratic. It really goes to the nature of the animals........
(Excerpt) Read more at chronwatch.com ...
I bet 95% of gerbil owners will vote for Kerry.
I (and my two cats) have never been so insulted in my life.
A squirt from a water pistol will cure your cat of scratching the furniture toute suite, if you catch him in the act. It took about 5 episodes for our new cat to get the message. By the way, in this PC age do you know how hard it is to find a regular water pistol these days? The Super Soaker was easy to find, but that's overkill. We didn't want to pin her to the wall with the force of the spray, after all. After combing Wal-Mart, Target and KB toys, I finally found a handgun in a dollar store. It looks like some ridiculous outer space death ray gun, but it does the job. Just showing the gun to her now is enough to make her stop whatever it is she's doing that she's not supposed to be doing. She's a fast learner. And she uses the scratching posts faithfully.
Your post nicely illustrates the absurdity of this article. I've seen similar dog vs. cat musings from people over the years and not one of them was based on any actual polling data. One such was a theory from John Podesta that "Democrats are dog people. Republicans are cat people."
As usual, the only generalization that's true is that all generalizations are false.
These are our welfare animals but with our compassionate conservatism and a feeding program and job training they might go to work eventually and become productive Viking Kitties.
I have the sinking feeling that my cat is a libertarian, with anarchist tendencies. Fortunately, she's not an activist. She is also a pagan, but inclusive. She is a devotee both of Bastet and St. Francis of Assisi.
Would you say this to the Viking Kitties?
| EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY Day 180 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 am - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day 181 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! Day 182 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE! 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE! 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE! 1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer. 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE! 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE! 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from occasionally ruining a piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was .....Hmmm. Not working according to plan. DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth. DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the aroma of some of their favorite foods. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time... |
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Pepsi! Regular! Non-decaf! Marlboro! Regular! Chevy! A mixture of astro and real! Wrangler! Vinegar-based! PC! Windows! Ont!
BUSH
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