Posted on 07/12/2004 1:50:33 PM PDT by Tailgunner Joe
At the recent United Nations' Commission on the Status of Women, the focus was on the role of men and boys in achieving gender equality. The bottom line was clearly stated: We must nurture boys into developing more feminine characteristics -- gentleness, compassion and tenderness, among others -- and train them away from the more typically male aggressive and competitive behaviors.
Now, there is nothing wrong with masculine gentleness, compassion and tenderness. Likewise, there is nothing wrong with teaching boys to be kind, considerate and thoughtful. There is also nothing wrong with competitiveness or aggressiveness within bounds. For girls as well as boys, those qualities are essential for leadership and for achieving one's goals though, for Christians, they must be governed by appropriate motivation and exercised under the authority of Scripture.
And, there is definitely nothing wrong with masculinity (boys being boys and men being men) or with femininity (girls being girls and women being women).
Strangely but predictably, given the distorted visions of life in the post-modern era, there are those who advocate a blurring of the distinctions between masculinity and femininity. We are familiar with the radical feminists' attempts to teach girls to act like the guys. Now there is a concerted effort to mainstream the feminization of boys.
I spent the first 10 years of my life living near my grandparents and my father's four younger brothers. I heard dozens of tales about the escapades of those five Shaw brothers and, from the accounts, my dad and his brothers certainly fit the description of boys by one psychologist who called them "little aggression machines." The mischief of my dad and his brothers was tolerated (and often encouraged) by my grandfather; but he also established boundaries and meted out decisive punishment when the boys found ways to sneak around the rules. In the process of taming those troublemakers while cherishing their masculinity, my grandfather taught them how to become men. Each of the four older ones volunteered for service in WWII in different branches of the service, thus becoming members of the "greatest generation." These fine men illustrate that the liberals lie when they say that such boys will become abusive and controlling as adult men.
There is more and more research indicating that my father's and uncles' development, under the watchful eye and Godly guidance of my grandfather, was just "the way it's supposed to be" -- confirmed by the neurological patterns to the hormonal testing, from the psychological analyses to the behavioral studies. And a wide variety of authors are addressing the issue. James Dobson wrote Bringing Up Boys. Christina Hoff Sommers wrote The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism is Harming Our Young Men. Stephen Rhoads wrote the newly released and destined for best-seller status, Taking Sex Differences Seriously. The common theme of these books is that sex differences are hard-wired into human beings and that culture and nurturing have only minor influence on the development of those traits typically associated with masculinity and femininity.
Despite the overwhelming evidence that boys ought to be allowed to be boys, efforts to make little boys more "feminine" have become part of the national culture and accepted policy. Formal efforts can be traced from the passage in 1994 of the Gender Equity in Education Act. This legislation poured many hundreds of millions of dollars into efforts to end so-called bias against girls. Sadly, the "evidence" of bias was based on a study from the early 1980s. It was soundly discredited only after it had been widely accepted as fact and after having made headlines in the major media, creating a massive policy response that continues today. In spite of its blatant falsehoods, the "findings" of that long-ago flawed study are still part of "conventional wisdom."
Today, while many of the gender stereotypes that caused problems for girls are now reversed, the emphasis has swung so far in the opposite direction that we are seeing equal problems today for boys. As a consequence, boys are falling further and further behind girls in academic achievement, and more and more of them are growing up uncertain about how to express their masculinity. Tragically, this leaves many young women of the present generation who desire nothing so much as a husband and family without men who qualify.
Worse still is that the submerged but testosterone-fueled maleness of young boys - deprived of positive role models of disciplined, restrained manhood - can explode in the horrific ways they continually hear described in misogynist rap music and see vividly depicted in violent movies and on television. Little wonder that little boys who grow up without fathers turn into predatory males who women have good reason to fear and loathe.
Far from providing solutions to the problem of male aggressiveness through the proper socialization that has occurred for centuries in the bosom of marriage and family, the feminist vision, which goes completely against nature, is a recipe for disaster. Foolish feminism includes encouraging females to act like aggressive, promiscuous and uncommitted males, à la the popular television shows Sex in the City and Friends. At the same time, those same foolish feminists argue that women are not inherently vulnerable; they pretend that they don't have to protect themselves from the violence engendered among boys and men who have been raised without male socialization or role models.
All this would be laughable and absurd were it not for the disastrous effects produced in the United States and throughout the Western world as a consequence of this vision. It is being embraced as the normative ideal by so many educated but self-absorbed women.
Oh come on, my girls love to take things apart and my boys know how to respect their elders and their sisters. I think people just need to leave kids alone and let them be themselves, and not worry about making natural human aggression something forbidden or just for boys or girls.
All my kids/nieces/nephews have the same rules: don't hit your littler sibling (and they all break this rule equally!), be clean (and they all break this rule equally too!), stand up for yourself (when a boy on the playground lifted my little girl's skirt, you can bet he was sorry, to the tune of a black eye) and be kind. Yes, I'm probably a little harder on the boys about fighting because I think it's easy to please your friends and be a bully, and I'm harder on the girls about teasing because it's easy to please your friends and be nasty. Thank goodness sex hasn't really come up yet, but my advice for all of them will be the same: wait until marriage!
I want all my kids to be strong and smart and good people, fulfilling God's wishes for them!
bttt for reference
I just spent the weekend with good friends with a 13-yr. old son. They are both committed liberals, residents of a very liberal college town. But despite their best efforts, their son is a typical adolescent boy, into making rude sounds, rough horseplay with his friends, fascination with girls and fast cars, etc. Then again, he is still politically liberal, and saw, with great approval Fahrenheit 911.
LOL I have told my boys that it's okay to pop some kid who is pulling any shenanigans with their girl cousins.
What a timely post. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine, and we were reminiscing about what it was like to be kids. I'll never forget the days running around the park near my house causing all kinds of mischief, especially that one time my friend fell in a pile of dog crap and had to explain to his mother why he smelled like a toilet.
This actually sounds like many liberal teens.
>>>>Oh, the feminist movement wasn't entirely stupid. Look at all the beautiful thoughtful FReepers gals here who have had hardworking jobs.
I had dolls and teasets, but I can rebuild an engine----or if I can't I know what's wrong with it.
I think that's better than leaping onto the kitchen table ala my mother freaking out about a danged MOUSE. Sheesh! Set a trap and throw him in the trash after you plug in the coffee tomorrow.<<<<<
I agree, I don't care for silly women. I am a practical gal and will do what is necessary but I will be honest, I would rather let the guys do the mechanical work, but I do know how to be the gopher and don't mind helping :)
I love hitting caps with a hammer. We used to sit in the street with a roll of caps and bang away. One day one of us got the bright idea to wack the entire roll as we had several boxes of caps and felt quite rich. My friend had a two-pound sledge and hit the roll really square. The consussion and the flash was more than we had planned on. Thinking back now I am grateful and lucky we did not have an anvil, a six-pounder, and a whole box of caps.
I dislike greasy hands so I don't mind getting the sockets and/or nut-drivers or knowing the difference between a standard skrew driver or a Phillips head.
I can park a car and a full size pick-up in our 1 and 3/4 car garage when you could slide a piece of paper between the two.
Looking fetching in ones cut-offs while fetching tools is always better than proclaiming "that is NOT a (fill in the blank) problem"
We Southron gals have sense.
Somehow we got hold of some percussion caps from a friend. His dad shot blackpowder in the hunting season, so I guess he didn't notice if his son took a few.
They fit perfectly in the barrel of our air rifle--we'd shoot them at our metal garbage cans. Wow were we stupid...
The older I get, the more obvious it is that sexes are different. This doesn't mean that a guy can't run a sewing machine or bake a cupcake nor does it mean that a gal can't gut a deer or rebuild a TransAm. But neither sex should bullied by social fascists into roles that feel unnatural to them.
I fish, hunt, and shoot but I get my husband to do any bug killin' around our house. My husband could probably rewire the space shuttle given enough time but he still wants me to sew his buttons on. There's more going on here than skill levels.
What the heck is that?
Me too! I have a picture of me somewhere when I was about 20 months old cracking walnuts with a claw hammer on the back steps. The horror!
Apparently a precursor of the cap smashing incidents of my pre kindergarten years.
My brothers had many play guns ala James Bond and the Rifleman that had an air powered cartridge in them.
We would jamb the barrels in the dirt and blast the bejesus out of the "enemy" (usually neighbors or cousins.)
If I may offer a guideline for raising boys: train him to recognize his duty to God and country, to help other people at all times, and to be physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight; to be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent; to be prepared "for just about anything"; and to do a good turn for someone else daily.
There was some construction going on on our street when I was 8. The crew took a break and left the power shovel sitting on the site, with the open end of the shovel pointing across the street. My older brother took a box of caps, taped it to the head of an 8-pound sledge, and smashed it against the inside of the shovel as hard as he could (at 6' and about 180 pounds).
Deafening. My Lord.
Then we ran like hell, and watched as every light on the street turn on and the cops showed up.
Let women raise girls. I'll take care of my boy.
Ya know!
I would like to personally thank, on behalf of my daughters and myself, all of the FReeper moms raising my possible, future sons-in-law.
I want my girls to marry men and you are making it possible.
(God only gives one what one can handle - He gave me girls)
I hear ya. I can spray that ant spray in the bathroom, but I ask him to do it.
I can take 10 skeins of yarn and turn it into a blanket. He can take a piece of wood and route it and make a shelf.
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