Oh come on, my girls love to take things apart and my boys know how to respect their elders and their sisters. I think people just need to leave kids alone and let them be themselves, and not worry about making natural human aggression something forbidden or just for boys or girls.
All my kids/nieces/nephews have the same rules: don't hit your littler sibling (and they all break this rule equally!), be clean (and they all break this rule equally too!), stand up for yourself (when a boy on the playground lifted my little girl's skirt, you can bet he was sorry, to the tune of a black eye) and be kind. Yes, I'm probably a little harder on the boys about fighting because I think it's easy to please your friends and be a bully, and I'm harder on the girls about teasing because it's easy to please your friends and be nasty. Thank goodness sex hasn't really come up yet, but my advice for all of them will be the same: wait until marriage!
I want all my kids to be strong and smart and good people, fulfilling God's wishes for them!
LOL I have told my boys that it's okay to pop some kid who is pulling any shenanigans with their girl cousins.
You are a good and wise mother and your children will always and forever love and respect you for your strength and for your guidance. We need more out there like you. Keep up the good work.