Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Constitution Day]

Try.....oxi(MORON)clean. Seriously, OxiClean has been a lifesaver.

Is that you, Billy Mays?

[Yudan]

I've heard it ALL. I can die now.

Hoald muh beer'n watch 'iss!!!!

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. It never ceases to amaze me what trouble we guys can get into.

[hellinahandcart]

LOL at the keywords!

And I wasn't responsible for even one. :D

[hellinahandcart]

Corn Huskers. I didn't know they still made that stuff. It'll probably be okay.

[reagan_fanatic]

Hey, Jay - please put me on your pix ping list!!

Nice thread - I haven't laughed this hard in weeks!!

[Jaysun]

There's Something About Jaysun's B-I-L ping

I suck at the lingo. What does BIL stand for?

[Jaysun]

Hey, Jay - please put me on your pix ping list!!

You got it Reagan Fanatic (I'm a Reagan fanatic too).

[Jaysun]

Is that you, Billy Mays?

I loathe that nut. He lost all credibility when he followed up the "Miracle Orange Citrus Cleaner" with "OxiClean" because if the Orange did as he had claimed, the Oxi would be irrelevant. He's down there with the "Pancake Pan" and "Pot That Has a Lid With Holes Drilled in it" guy in my book.

[general_re]

Just wrap a wet towel around his head and tell him to affect an Indian accent for a day or two.

No permanent damage done, that's the important thing - and ego blows don't count. Anyway, for us, something about camp seems to inspire stupid deeds when we go, so "no permanent damage" is pretty much our motto. Although we came pretty close to "permanent damage" the time we had the bright idea of rolling a homemade torch out of a stick, some kerosene, and two maxi pads...

[Jaysun]

Tell your friend that his hair was doomed around step 3 of the "cure" you guys fashioned and he was better off shaving it quickly so there would at least be some regrowth starting ... IF IT REGROWS AT ALL!!!

Seriously? We didn't think that any of our methods might cause permanent baldness. We were more concerned with his eyes. Once we got a pair of goggles on him, we felt at liberty to douse him with anything within reach. In retrospect, maybe we shouldn't have treated him like a lab rat.

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

Count me in on the one-time ping list. I'm a FR friend of Nita Nupress so that should tell you something :-).

[4mycountry]

Um... may I suggest an electric razor? :}

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

No kidding. Once the KY Jelly theory made its' rounds over here, I was starting to fear for his safety.

Now I'm *really* laughing...... all this and more only after I finally managed to calm down last night and go to sleep :-).

[Jaysun]

No permanent damage done, that's the important thing - and ego blows don't count. Anyway, for us, something about camp seems to inspire stupid deeds when we go, so "no permanent damage" is pretty much our motto. Although we came pretty close to "permanent damage" the time we had the bright idea of rolling a homemade torch out of a stick, some kerosene, and two maxi pads...

We have a "don't ask don't tell" policy. Our wives agreed to leave us alone and we agreed to leave them alone. That's why I had to post this. Everyone called their wives for advice and got nowhere. My wife might have helped if she had known what to suggest and if she could quit cackling out loud at his plight. I love her.

[Jaysun]

Count me in on the one-time ping list. I'm a FR friend of Nita Nupress so that should tell you something :-).

It's no problemo. I'll put you on the ping list.

[NonValueAdded]

Jaysun,

B-I-L is short for Brother-In-Law. As to permanent baldness, I really don't know but I suspect it is one possible outcome. Your B-I-L's psyche might not be up to handling that truth right now. I suggest someone make a beer run into town and maybe pick up something a little stronger for your bald bud. Tell him if he doesn't want to drink it, he can always put it on his head. And, oh yes, take down all the mirrors.

[GummyIII]

Note I also said this: (If you guys have fingernail polish remover, you ought not be tellin' it on here...lol!)

[Jaysun]

Um... may I suggest an electric razor? :}

Thanks, but we eventually got him all fixed up. See post number 463 for the details.

[small voice in the wilderness]

Thanks for update ping! Looks like the problem has been resolved, amazing what time and sobering up can do for a situation.

But honestly, who couldn't see a disaster brewing up in that cabin o' men?? 5 guys, 4 sheep. You do the deteriorating situation math.

[NonValueAdded]

On the plus side, remember that commercial about DHT - Di-Hydrogen-Testosterone - buildup being the cause of MPB - male pattern baldness? (Sorry, this BIL thing has me in acronym mode now) Perhaps you all have burned off whatever DHT residue there was along with the top few layers of skin and he will grow hair like there is no tomorrow! Use this to give hope if he looks suicidal!!!

BTW, when you were anointing his head with the various potions, did anyone say "ana-cana-panican"? You all sound like a 3-stooges crowd.

Finally, if for some strange reason there IS renewed hair growth, try conning another friend with MPB to come on another trip so you can apply the cure! Make him rent the cabin and supply the beer.