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Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)
4/21/2004
| Jaysun
Posted on 04/21/2004 6:52:54 PM PDT by Jaysun
Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and weve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I cant tell you what that something was, because hes refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the tainted hair theory to save himself some embarrassment.)
My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and hes now in a state of full blown panic.
Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, wed like to know of any home remedies that may work were in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Heres what weve tried so far:
A) Tried to melt it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.
Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.
Jaysun
TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: 12steps; 2ndweekofdeercamp; ahthepowerofbeer; areugay; baldisbeautiful; beautifulhair; beeber; bigbowlofstupid; bigkegsofstupid; blondehair; braindead; breckgirl; brotherinlaw; bs; camping; classicthread; cueballhead; darkhair; dontbemetrosexual; donttrythishome; drevil; dumbass; frhistory; funny; gay; gittenjiffywitit; gladimawoman; gonnabebaldsoon; gotoaa; hair; highandtightcut; hisnameisnowskippy; holdmuhbeer; idiot; imaloserbaybee; itdidntwork; jaysun; jiffy; johnedwards; johnhofmeister; justbuzzit; justdamn; justplainstupid; kyconspiracy; longhair; menbehavingbadly; menneedhelp; metrosexual; morons; notjustpbinhishair; orangemuppet; passtheoranges; pb; pbkyj; peanutbutter; peanutbuttercombover; ponchsaysso; rudrunk; shaveit; shaveurbutt; shorthair; somethingabouthisbil; sowhydontchakillme; stuned; stupidjoke; stupidmantricks; takeyourclothesoff; torchit; typicalmen; uguysrock; uguyssuck; unclefester; uneedhelp; whatisthat; whynotrogaine; youreahomo; yourefired
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To: Wolverine
You have a typewriter with a ribbon?
441
posted on
04/21/2004 11:31:33 PM PDT
by
GretchenM
(Want to see more U.S. soldiers stay alive? Drench them in prayer.)
To: hellinahandcart
I haven't seen a thread this promising since Sweet_Sunflower29 logged in to tell us she had a live rattlesnake trapped under her foot. Details? I missed that one. How'd she solve that problem?
442
posted on
04/21/2004 11:33:28 PM PDT
by
GretchenM
(Want to see more U.S. soldiers stay alive? Drench them in prayer.)
To: ILBBACH; xrp
You gotta read this! And come back for pictures!
443
posted on
04/21/2004 11:53:55 PM PDT
by
ILBBACH
To: RadioAstronomer; Junior; PatrickHenry; longshadow
You guys gotta see this...
To: hellinahandcart
You know, we have not found any more snakes in the house, nor were we were able to determine with 100% certainty where that snake actually came from...although I have a fairly good guess.
My husband had taken the children camping that weekend. When this snake business, and hence my frantic post, was written they had been back home for just a couple of hours.
We finally figured that when the kids were rolling sleeping bags, folding blankets and packing their backpacks to come home, the little nightmare was accidently rolled, folded or packed up, and came home with everything else.
Uh...crap.
I am SO not relaxed and ready to go to bed like I was before reading and seeing those snake pictures...
445
posted on
04/22/2004 12:03:08 AM PDT
by
Sweet_Sunflower29
(The Bill of Rights......Void where prohibited.)
To: Iowa Granny
My guess is this fella got K-Y Jelly in his hairK-Y's water-soluble, it'd come out with the beer. Perhaps the unfortunate fellow tried petroleum jelly...
To: Jaysun
Let a dog lick it off.
To: Jaysun
Your post @356 is hilarious. Good luck.
448
posted on
04/22/2004 12:15:27 AM PDT
by
GretchenM
(Want to see more U.S. soldiers stay alive? Drench them in prayer.)
To: hellinahandcart
Someone posted the link to the "snake underfoot" thread, so pls disregard my request.
449
posted on
04/22/2004 12:29:08 AM PDT
by
GretchenM
(Want to see more U.S. soldiers stay alive? Drench them in prayer.)
To: Jaysun
Let me start by saying that I had no idea that this post would receive this kind of attention. After reading some of the replies (a havent had time to make it past the first 100 yet) Im glad to see that you guys find this just as funny and bizarre as we do. I think that youll find the end result to be worth your wait.
As of my last reply, my brothr-in-law was letting lemon juice soak into his hair. He agreed to tell the full story if my final suggestion worked. I revealed the ultimate cure (liquid soap dawn) to him. He was nervous that we might not have enough soap so he asked if there was anything else. He looked over the coffee table full of possible cures and grabbed some hydrogen peroxide.
After soaking himself in hydrogen peroxide he grabbed the dawn and went to the bathroom. We continued with our card game and left it at that. Later, we heard him scurry off to his room so we yelled for him to come show us if it worked. He wouldnt come out so one of the guys went in to retrieve him. All of the sudden we hear him start giggling and he yelled, His damned hair is orange! We havent figured out whether it was the lemon juice or the hydrogen peroxide, but his dark brown hair was now a weird pumpkin color. His hair was also amazingly frizzy. I assume that the frizzy effect was from all of the chemicals, I'm not sure, but it looked like orange cotton candy.
The good thing was that the peanut butter was gone. I demanded that he come out and spill his guts about what started this whole thing. He says that the truth about why he put peanut butter in his hair had nothing to do with trying to remove anything. He said that he had run out of goop and figured that he could substitute the peanut butter. He planned to put in the peanut butter, wash away the smell and most of the excess, and still have enough stickiness left to effectively hold his comb over in place.
As one of my buddies quickly pointed out, whats the point? First, were all men here. Second, his usual comb over wasnt fooling anybody anyway. To steal a line from Dennis Miller, he wore sideburns that I havent seen since TBS ran
Play Misty For Me, topped with a comb over that looked like it had been done by a spider on Xanax. Nevertheless, he used peanut butter to facilitate his comb over, and he was too embarrassed to tell us about it when it didnt work out. Basically, he went metro-sexual on us and it bit him in the ass.
Here comes the best part. We finally ridiculed his orange hair and fed him beer to the point that he agreed to simply shave it off. After all of this work, we shaved it off. Hes now laying in bed and refuses to speak to any of us. Hes furious. Not because his hair turned orange. Not because we talked him into shaving his head. Not because we dumped Brute 33 on his bleeding scalp after we were done. Not because his head is a hideous lumpy white spectacle. No, hes mad because of an innocent suggestion that one of the guys made. My thoughtful friend suggested that he simply dye it dark again with one of those womens hair coloring kits. Of course, that suggestion wasn't made until wed already knocked off all of my brother-in-law's hair.
Thanks for riding this out us. Let me know if you'd like to get on a one time ping list for the pictures. Im going back to my poker game.
Jaysun
450
posted on
04/22/2004 12:36:45 AM PDT
by
Jaysun
To: King Prout; Jaysun
451
posted on
04/22/2004 2:07:16 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Become a monthly donor on FR. No amount is too small and monthly giving is the way to go !)
To: Jaysun; King Prout
Yeah, ping me to the pics !
452
posted on
04/22/2004 2:11:24 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Become a monthly donor on FR. No amount is too small and monthly giving is the way to go !)
To: Jaysun
453
posted on
04/22/2004 2:13:02 AM PDT
by
MeekOneGOP
(Become a monthly donor on FR. No amount is too small and monthly giving is the way to go !)
To: Jaysun; hellinahandcart
Moral of the story: just say "no" to metrosexual combovers. It just isn't worth it.
To: No Fool
If it's gummy, try bread crumbs. If it's oily, try Ivory Liquid (dish soap), if neither of these works, drink the beers and get out the shears.... Hey, I resemble that remark....
455
posted on
04/22/2004 2:54:36 AM PDT
by
GummyIII
(I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.)
To: Jaysun
Is your brother-in-law named Skippy?
Let him know his hair will grow back in a jif.
To: Piltdown_Woman
Thanks. One should never drink coffee when reading these types of posts. Now I've got to finish cleaning my monitor.
457
posted on
04/22/2004 3:27:41 AM PDT
by
Junior
(Remember, you are unique, just like everyone else.)
To: Jaysun
Put me on the ping list.
To: Jaysun
Vanity, thy name is ... well, I guess in this case, "Guy."
459
posted on
04/22/2004 3:37:43 AM PDT
by
Junior
(Remember, you are unique, just like everyone else.)
To: Jaysun
great thread, ping me to the pictures!
460
posted on
04/22/2004 3:40:15 AM PDT
by
RobFromGa
(There isn't always an easy path, but there is always a right path.)
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