A Few Of FR's Finest....Every Day....12-02-03...Holiday Contest Thread: Rumsfield Doll

12/02/003 | FreeTheHostages

[FreeTheHostages]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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HARK! Welcome to a holiday contest thread.

The prize is a talking doll. But wait, it gets better!
	Secretary Rumsfield is doing the talking! Ah, Rummy, he tells it like it is.  Click here to see a sample of things the doll can say!

Santa sees all, knows all.     Cool Christmas gifts for Rumsfield?   You betcha.  But here’s a more perplexing question: Whatever will Rummy get for the press corps?


How does Donald Rumsfield really feel about THEM?  He probably can't say.   The press corps, being the inexperienced, naive, childlike people that they are, may determine how much Rumsfield really loves them by the Christmas gift he gives them.


So, let's do some fictitious shopping for our beloved Secretary of Defense.  Pretend the President has given you leave to get them what you *really* want to get them.  Best answer wins the doll!

Examples of Gifts From Rummy, To Press Corps, With Luv
Recompense for their thoughts	A Texas snowglobe?
A good gift for Sam Donaldson	Remember, it's the thought that counts . . .
Got the idea?  Good.  So it's your turn: what should Secretary Rumsfield get for his beloved crop of youngsters in the Pentagon press room?

The Rules
1. There are no rules! Everything is subject to change on the merest whim. Needless to say, this contest is not affiliated with the ownership of Free Republic and is run by just me.


The Guidelines
1. Post by 22:00 hours (10 p.m. EST --Rumsfield-time!) your description of what Rumsfield should get for the Fourth Estate.  In this fictious gift-giving contest, you can use words, graphics, sounds, and/or an unlimited ficitious budget.  Your contest entry can describe a gift to the entire press corps or you can select one member to receive Sec. Rumsfield’s gift.

2. Winner will be announced on this thread at 23:00 hours.

3. Humor counts.   Conservatism counts.   Picking on the artwork of The Thin Man counts.   In short, everything counts.   Including how much alcohol I have imbibed at the time of judging.   Oh, and if you have to ask if bribes count, then you don't know me well enough to get me the perfect gift anyway.

4. As always, no complaining that the judge (me) is a raving lunatic.   Everyone already knows that.   Bor-r-r-r-ing.   As per last year, no whining if you lose just ‘cause your entry was clearly better: remember, when the judge is an idiot, there’s no shame in losing.   So enter once, enter often, have a ball.

5. The possibility exists of runner-up prizes and awards.   The possibility also exists that if you don’t want a the Rumsfield doll and would prefer a Coulter doll, I just might have access to one for ya.  Or not.  Depends on my mood, really.

6. Don't post anything that our President and First Lady would disapprove of.


7. Oh, and no not entering because you're afraid of embarassing yourself.  That's the entire point of these contests and you'll have plenty of company!  Ho ho ho!





Just in case you're not motivated and somehow have lost the dander you usually put up when you see a member of the press corps, consider the fact that the ne'er-do-wells just yesterday gave TONS of cnn.com frontpage publicity to a "foot-in-mouth" award for Rumsfield given by a couple of unknown British quacks.  Unbelievably, the press corps is riding herd on the theory that the man can't talk no good!  We, on the other hand, understand perfectly this gem:

We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.   But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.

It makes perfect sense to everyone except a Liberal and we recognize the Rumsfieldian humor and truth in the statement.  I personally hope this contest has many unknown unknowns!

And Merry Christmas, Secretary Rumsfield!  We understand you and you've been a very good boy this year!

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 12-1-03...Military Monday

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' The guy's good, folks!

Thanks, Mixer!

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[FreeTheHostages]

This is a *very* intriguing entry. Why not go one step further and just give The Thin Man? ;)

[Aquamarine]

. We're RE-deployed to NAS Sigonella now, in the Med. We fly ops supporting ENDURING FREEDOM from here. They say we'll be here for the duration of this deployment.

That sounds alot warmer than Iceland. :)
Thanks for watching our backs here in the States. Stay safe!

[Donaeus]

I think Rummy ought to get a full page or full segment, depending on the medium, to do an editorial on each member of the press. It's the least he could do to return the favor for all the coverage they've given him. A photo of said media member holding a flag in one hand and the Constitution, Declaration and Bill of Rights in the other should be prominently displayed on his/her feature. An additional highlight for the most extreme Bush Bashers should be to have a butterfly ballot punch card for Bush/Cheney shoved in their mouth like they were a stuffed pig.

[Donaeus]

*puts on a scowling, intense face before busting out in a huge grin again* It's not working!!! LOL

[Pippin]

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking my tea when I read this, ROTFLOL!!!

[Pippin]

It aint working here either! LOL!

[The Thin Man]

FreeTheSausages, I've got bad news for you. I've decided not to enter this contest and thus depriving you of another opportunity to rob me of my prize.

There is only so much injustice one man can take!

:-)

[FreeTheHostages]

You're just sore because there's no typos in today's thread.

Hang in there, buddy. You have as good a chance of winning as anyone. I really am going to a fancy dinner party tonight and I may have wine. And I normally don't drink at all. So you know what THAT means.

So when I come back to judge this, it might be fairly random.

{{{The Thin Man}}}

[The Thin Man]

You know Pippin with all your entries you have a really good chance of winning. That is of course you've included the standard bribe.....

[The Thin Man]

You're just sore because there's no typos in today's thread

In addition to "Rumsfield" which I'm sure was intentional.....

fictious

ficitious

if you don’t want a the Rumsfield doll

So there!

[Donaeus]

ROFLMSO!!! You need to get a windshield wiper for your monitor.

[FreeTheHostages]

ah, my gosh, you didn't take the bait on intentional misspelling.

clever one

Ah, and I did have two typos after all. Thanks for sharing because otherwise I would NEVER have found them.

Coulter doll's a nice back-up, huh?

[Pippin]

Standard bribe?

Which would be?

[Pippin]

I'll make sure to get one whe I get my new computer. :O)

[SpookBrat]

A perfect gift for any home or office....a picture of beautiful Texas born children in the native wildflowers. We'll even autograph your copy. Call today for rush delivery.....

If Rummy doesn't by 10,000 copies, I'll be crushed. Wouldn't these children turn any liberal into a conservative?

[Pippin]

Adorable!

[SpookBrat]

by = buy

Doh!

[Molly Pitcher]

Afternoon FtH, Billie, everyone!

Wow!! Lots of good items on this thread today. I'll take one of each:-)

[Pippin]

Hi, Molly!

[MeekOneGOP]

What a hoot!!!!! All I can think of is what Rummy would like to give to Helen Thomas...Have at it guys! (apologies in advance) ...

ha! ha! You are on track with my idea, sort of. I invented the Helen Thomas Windup Doll !

Wind her up and she looks for Bill Clintoon ! The media's favorite hero !! ...

Merry Christmas, you Idjits !