Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

Puff List ^ | 5/30/03 | francisandbeans

[Just another Joe]

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Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em shssh
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aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`: <--------Life is good!
A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.

[Just another Joe]

I'm thinking about giving it up. Tired of getting the crap beat out of me.

Yeh, that's really not what you're wanting beat out of you, huh?

[SeaDragon]

I'm a little under the weather. Nasty sinus drip made it's way to my chest.

You poor thing.............

Anything I can do to make you feel better....

[Just another Joe]

Anything I can do to make you feel better....

Talk about a loaded question!

I guess you could feed me drinks until I get to - Stage #5 -- Invisible

This is the final stage of drunkenness. At this point you can do absolutely anything because no one can see you. You can get up and dance on a table; you can strip down to your underwear, to impress the people who have been admiring you all evening, because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person whom you have picked a fight with earlier in the evening. You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs (because of course you are still smart and know the tune perfectly) and no one will think anything of it because they can't see you. All your social inhibitions are gone. You can do anything, because no one will know.

.

And you certainly won't remember !

[Just another Joe]

And for all you single mail catholics out there.


Oral Sex and Nuns

A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want
to offend you."

She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have
been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance & see and hear just about everything. I'm
sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:

1) you have to be single and
2) you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"

The nun says, "O.K., pull into the next alley."

He does and the nun fullfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver
starts crying his eyes out.

"My dear child, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

[MeekOneGOP]

hehe !

Y'all scuze me . . .

http://paulkatcher.com/images/bear.jpg

[SeaDragon]

I guess you could feed me drinks until I get to - Stage #5 -- Invisible

I think I can manage that one.............

;-)

[Gabz]

SICK SICK SICK

[Conspiracy Guy]

No I like being full of crap. When it gets beat out of me, I have to start all over. I guess it's like my dog getting upset when I shovel up her yard decorations. She looks at me like "You bastard I've been working on that all week long."

[SeaDragon]

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween Party."

LOLOLOLOL

Very good.

[Just another Joe]

SICK SICK SICK

Yes, I am sick. I've been coughing for two days now.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Take 2 shots of Jack Daniels with a tablespoon of lemon mixed in a glass of roomtemp unsweetened tea. Drink it cover up and be prepared to sweat. You'll burn that crap right out. Don't do this if you have high blood pressure. "Some side effects may include bleeding through the eyes, irritated bowel syndrome, and loss of toenails. Pregnant women should stay at least 50 feet away from you. Ask your doctor if this treatment is right for you." I hate the FCC and FTC.

[Just another Joe]

Keep in mind that I have only reached Stage 5 two times in my life.
Once at the age of 19 when I copped the town record for drinking the most bottles of wine in a 24 hour period without throwing up and once at the age of 23 when I went out on a weekend in the Philippines with three hundred dollars in my pocket.
The first time I woke up in the field alone, the second time must have been more fun. I started out fully clothed and ended up in a ditch, 40 miles from nowhere, a pair of shorts, flip flops, my military ID and just enough money to ride the jeepney back to the base.

[A_perfect_lady]

I've never been to the Smoker's Lounge before. Can we tell jokes like this? Is it okay?

Good. Okay, so there's three men in the bar, a blind Italian, a one-armed American, and a crippled Irishman. Jesus walks into the bar. The blind Italian overhears Jesus speak, and says to the bartender, "Is that Jesus? Oh my... say, buy him a beer, on me!"

The one-armed American and the crippled Irishman, not wanting to be outdone, also buy Jesus a beer.

As he's leaving, Jesus comes up to each man. First he touches the Italian on the shoulder, saying, "for your kindness, you are healed." The Italian whoops, "I can see!!" and runs out of the bar.

Jesus touches the one-armed American, who gasps, "My arm is back! Thank you. Lord!!" and runs out of the bar.

Jesus finally approaches the Irishman, who rears back in alarm.

"Don't you touch me, I'm drawing disability!"

[Just another Joe]

I do something similar except I use brandy, honey, lemon and Dr. Pepper.
Normally it works but this stuff has been fighting back.

[Just another Joe]

Can we tell jokes like this? Is it okay?

Any joke you can tell is OK with us.
Equal opportunity offense. That's what we're all about. ;^)
Seriously though, We're not very PC around here.

[Just another Joe]

Can I get you something to drink?

[Conspiracy Guy]

Is the cough triggered by your sinus drainage or up from your chest?

[Just another Joe]

chest. The sinus triggered the chest.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Fever?

[A_perfect_lady]

Do you have a nice local white wine? I mean, VERY local. Something from Illinois or Missouri?