Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Posted on 01/10/2003 5:00:48 AM PST by Just another Joe
Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...
Smoker's Lounge
Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...
"ALL EAGLES ALL TV'S"
They have 15 TV's in there. It's a shame the game is at 8 - if it were the early game I'd be camped out there.
Business, particularly Happy Hour is hurting big time. the owner told me he's losing at least $200 a day in Happy and his late night business is practically nil.
In the past when were have been there on Friday afternoon folks are usually waiting for our seats when we leave at 4:30 - yesterday there were plenty of empty seats when we were leaving and no one waiting to be seated.
the ban is hurting big time.
At least so they tell me. (ha ha)
No. This is all just a "frigment" of your imagination. You will soon wake up,and it will all be gone.
How have you been?
How have you been?
Well, now that I'm up...
Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing vacation to Europe. While visiting England, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: "Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am." "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Gore?" "Yes, ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old friends to the test. He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi, Bill, I wonder if you can answer a question for me." "Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Clinton hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Gore agrees, and Clinton hangs up.
Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course!" Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims, "I know the answer, Al. I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Gore replies in disgust, "Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair."
When NASA was preparing for the Apollo Project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian Reservation in Arizona.One day, a Navajo Elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated.
"What are these guys in the big suits doing? " Queried the old timer.
A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the Moon.
The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the Moon with the astronauts.
Recognizing a promotional opportunity for the spin-doctors, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked the son to translate it.
He refused.
So the NASA reps brought the tape to the reservation where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed but refused to translate the Elder's message to the Moon.
Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. He reported that the Moon message said, " Watch out for these ba**ards. They have come to steal your land."
That's great Meek. That's so good I'm going to remember that one.
No problem on the delay. Between trips and work I have been a little delayed myself.
:-)
A Texan looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump! "Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"no offense intended, of course...The man yelled back, "I just lost everything of value I had in the stock market!"
"But remember, you're important to your wife," yelled the Texan.
"She divorced me."
"Your children! Remember your children," yelled the Texan.
"They never call," said the man.
"Then your parents. Remember your parents," yelled the Texan.
"Dead as doornails, both of 'em," said the man.
"Then, 'Remember the Alamo,'" yelled the Texan.
"What's the Alamo?" inquired the man.
And the Texan replied: "Go ahead and jump, you Yankee-son-of-a -bi**h!"
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"
"I sure do," answered the redneck.
Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.
"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.
The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
"Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class."
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" he asks.
"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.
"What in tarnation is logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"
"No."
"You're queer, ain't ya?"
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