Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Free Republic Smokers' Lounge
Puff List ^ | 11/01/02 | francisandbeans

Posted on 11/01/2002 10:03:53 AM PST by Just another Joe

Join the FR smokers lounge bump list...click on the logo

Welcome Friends, foes and associates to the completely remodeled Free Republic...

Smoker's Lounge

Here you will find a comfy place to smoke, drink, joke or whatever. We always have a great time, so sit back, relax and...

Smoke 'em if you got 'em
shssh
shsshs
shsshssh
shsshsshs
shsshssh
shsshs
shssh
shssh
shsshs
shsshssh
shsshsshs
shsshssh
shsshs
shssh
shssh
shsshs
shsshssh
shsshsshs
shsshssh
shsshs
shssh
shssh
aaaaa,:`___________________________||`,:'.",`.;'`,:'.',`:
<--------Life is good!

A very special thank you to Registered for providing us with this fine logo....we will bear it with pride.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Science; Society
KEYWORDS: butts; michaeldobbs; niconazi; pufflist; smoke; smoking; smokingbans
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 161-169 next last
To: Just another Joe
LAST RITES

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street. He is lying near death on the sidewalk as a crowd gathers. "A preacher. Somebody get me a preacher!" the man gasps. Minutes drag on and no one steps out of the crowd.

A policeman checks the crowd and finally yells, "A PREACHER, PLEASE! Isn't there a preacher in this crowd to give this man his last rites?"

Finally, out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least 80 years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a preacher. I'm not even a Christian. But for 50 years now I'm living behind the Catholic church on First Avenue, and every night I'm overhearing their services. I can recall a lot of it, and maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor man."

The policeman agrees, and clears the crowd so the man can get through to where the injured man lay. The old Jewish man kneels down, leans over the prostrate man and says in a solemn voice:

"B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. . ."

61 posted on 11/01/2002 11:55:17 AM PST by Argh
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 59 | View Replies]

To: Argh
"B-4. I-19. N-38. G-54. O-72. . ."

BINGO!

62 posted on 11/01/2002 11:57:07 AM PST by Just another Joe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 61 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
Last year and the year before harvey and I took his niece and nephew and jax - one of his neighbors totally gets into it. Spooky music and things jumping out of the bushes and he dresses like Lurch.

Scares the dickens out of the kids, but they LOVE it!!!

63 posted on 11/01/2002 11:58:21 AM PST by Gabz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
well, Joe, that was kind of you.

if I might gently point out (i YAM new here) that I don't dig stemmed glasses. maybe Gabz or the SeaDragon can explain, but I have issues dealing with stemmed glasses. would it be possible to use, say, a 16 oz. tumbler instead?

thank you kind sir...
64 posted on 11/01/2002 12:00:23 PM PST by camle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 59 | View Replies]

To: camle

Is this a breakage problem? If so I can give you martinis in this.
65 posted on 11/01/2002 12:06:13 PM PST by Just another Joe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 64 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
yes, thank you, sir. that will do quite nicely.
you see, stemmed glasses tend to break, then lodge themselves into the side of one's face when in a limo that is in the act of rolling over...
66 posted on 11/01/2002 12:10:21 PM PST by camle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 65 | View Replies]

To: Gabz
If you live in a bad neighbor hood, there is nothing tacky about going to a better one. Besides that you get to spend some time with friends. Sounds like a win win situation to me and I'd do it too.
67 posted on 11/01/2002 12:10:46 PM PST by Sunshine Sister
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 60 | View Replies]

To: Sunshine Sister
I'm no different than you.
68 posted on 11/01/2002 12:12:43 PM PST by Gabz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: Gabz
After all these years, it finally sunk in that we WILL have Halloween goodies left since we're off the beaten path, so we bought only the kinds WE like. Had exactly 5 little goblins...took ours to a better street. LOL

Smokers under siege: Here's the new URL for Alan Daly's Tobacco Chat Forum again. For anyone planning ahead, it's a wealth of information from people already growing their own.

69 posted on 11/01/2002 12:13:16 PM PST by Max McGarrity
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 63 | View Replies]

To: camle
I can see where that could be a problem. Could turn a person off to stemmed glassware completely.
From now on it's pewter tumblers for you.
70 posted on 11/01/2002 12:13:26 PM PST by Just another Joe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 66 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
Dang!!!!!!!!

I'll be back in a bit - gotta go start dinner.

71 posted on 11/01/2002 12:13:37 PM PST by Gabz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 53 | View Replies]

To: Max McGarrity
After all these years, it finally sunk in that we WILL have Halloween goodies left since we're off the beaten path, so we bought only the kinds WE like.

I joined you in that this year, Max.
Chocolate, coconut (Mounds bars), and jelly bellys.
The wife has already told me that while the candy lasts I have to do two extra hours a week working out.

72 posted on 11/01/2002 12:16:12 PM PST by Just another Joe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
well, although the surgeries didn't feel none too good, I prefer to think that I got this deep scar protecting my coquette from being injured.

it did knock me on my keister for quite a spell tho...
73 posted on 11/01/2002 12:17:01 PM PST by camle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 70 | View Replies]

To: Max McGarrity
we had absolutely none. most folks don't like to approach the estate - especially when the gatehouse is empty, but we were out of town anyway.

there's plenty of hershey's and reese's for us to enjoy now (burp!)
74 posted on 11/01/2002 12:18:49 PM PST by camle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 69 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
Ah, nicely done, I see the jam jar ashtrays are gone, replaced with something a little more classy...... crystal.
75 posted on 11/01/2002 12:31:35 PM PST by Great Dane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Gabz
Please Joe keep'em coming!!!!!!

LOL, at least you're kind of home, just flake out on the floor, your better half can look after the little one.

76 posted on 11/01/2002 12:34:10 PM PST by Great Dane
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Gabz
I can certainly understand that. I always had to answer the door as a kid too.
77 posted on 11/01/2002 12:39:25 PM PST by SeaDragon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
Hi Joe. Make mine a very dry Bombay Sapphire martini. It's been a frustrating day.

And, how about a nice cigar.

Here are a couple jokes for everyone:

The brewery presidents

Four brewery presidents walk into a bar.  The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey, Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."

The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world.  "Give me 'The King of Beers,' a Budweiser."

The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water.  Give me a Coors."

He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke."

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking Guinness?"

The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

----------------------------------------------

A WOMAN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS

1) Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

2) Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

3) One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 LBS.

4) My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

5) The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

6) The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

7) The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

8) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

9) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

10) I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

11) Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

12) Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat," Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys.  But I've never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

13) A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills.  She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

14) They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.  Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said, "Listen witch ...  do it and die."

15) The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him.)

16) I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.  Are they kidding?  That is my idea of a perfect day.

17) I know what Victoria's Secret is.  The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

18) If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

-------------------------------------------
Halloween and the vampires

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a bar.

"What will you have?" asked the bartender.

"I'll have a glass of blood," replied the first.

"I'll have a glass of blood too please," said the second.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.

"OK, let me get this straight, " said the bartender, "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"

------------------------------------------

Have a great weekend!
78 posted on 11/01/2002 12:39:40 PM PST by aaaDOC
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Great Dane

They DO look a little nicer, don't they?
I've still got the jam jars in the back though. They come out during the holiday partys.
Can't afford to have the crystal danced on while it's still on the tables.
79 posted on 11/01/2002 12:41:18 PM PST by Just another Joe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 75 | View Replies]

To: Just another Joe
Shoot, more like almost got my eye poked out!

Well what the hell were you doing standing so close?

80 posted on 11/01/2002 12:41:19 PM PST by SeaDragon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100 ... 161-169 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson