Better answer:
I'm straight. Why do you think I'd find a guy named Sydney attractive?
Where can I order 2 dozen flashbombs?
Best advice would be to get a Labrador and a boat and skip marriage altogether. The Lab will truly love you and true happiness will be when the two of you are on the boat.
Simple. Safe. Secure. Sane. Predictable. ...SINGLE!
The answer to gotcha questions is:
“Do you want to shoot me now or later?”
No doubt!
I’d also like assistance with the following questions:
1. Why would anyone want a 1968 Mustang GT390?
2. Do we really need to spend that much on another firearm?
3. When did we buy a boat?
Any assistance would be greatly appreciated…..
Ha - some of these are LOL.
Let me add one:
Q: Did you leave the toilet seat up?
A: Ugh, that dog. We really need to teach him to stop drinking out of the toilet since he’s learned to flip the seat for easier access.
Words to live by. 😆
A little off your topic having been married 34 years I can offer a little humble advice:
1. If it has been agreed on to exchange bday, Xmas or valentines day cards..never forget...and I mean NEVER.
2. When your wife (or even girlfriend) goes to the hair salon always notice when she comes back....and I mean ALWAYS.
"Do these jeans make me look fat?"
"Do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
"Of course, Darling!"
"OK. I bought another gun."
Q: What’s the best way to repair the carburetor on a 1988 Ford Ranger that’s stalling out at idle?
A: That’s a trick question. The 1988 Ford Ranger uses a fuel-injected engine, not a carburetor. The issue is probably a dirty throttle body or a small vacuum leak.
Stop the mansplaining!
A: It is a trick question! Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.
-PJ
The answer to all ten should be “it wasn’t me, it was him, those aren’t my pants and the midget was on fire when I got here”
Then raise both hand over your head and tactical backpeddle out of the room.
That would be creepy. Both question and answer.
Q: What do you want for dinner?
A: Whatever you're thinking of right now, sweetheart.
Now there is a question I would like answered on occasion. It is not a trick question darling. Would you like meat loaf with mashed potatoes or fish and chips? JUST PICK ONE! I need to take the protein out of the freezer.
About the only time I can get an answer is when I am asking him if he would like A or B for one of our "Just Us Two" dinners. I never ask about desert. It will be homemade strawberry cookie bars. With homemade straw berry ice cream on top.
He: If I died, would you marry again?
She: I’m still young, no sense spending my life alone.
He: What about our house? Would you share it with him?
She: It’s paid for. Would be foolish to get a new mortgage.
He: What about our bed? Would you share it with him??
She: Honey, it’s the best bed I’ve ever had! Gotta keep it.
He: What about my guitar? Would let him play my guitar??
She: No, he won’t play your guitar. He’s left handed..
Sage advice....