Ha - some of these are LOL.
Let me add one:
Q: Did you leave the toilet seat up?
A: Ugh, that dog. We really need to teach him to stop drinking out of the toilet since he’s learned to flip the seat for easier access.
“ Did you leave the toilet seat up?”
Her feet flew in the and her face turned crimson red
She felt at once both cold and wet and wished that she was dead
The moral of the story girls is don’t sit down abrupt;
Always look behind you for the seat may still be up!
The world’s lowest man is one who cuts a really vile fart and then kicks a dog.