Posted on 09/18/2026 9:35:44 AM PDT by dayglored
Men, if you've been married for any length of time, then you've no doubt fallen prey to a trap question. Women love asking questions they don't want answers to, just so they can start a fight. It's in their nature. But we got you, fam.
Check out these common trap questions wives love to ask and how you should respond to each:
Q: Which one of my friends is the prettiest?
A: You have female friends? I never noticed.
Q: Do you think Sydney Sweeney is attractive?
A: What is a "Sydney Sweeney"?
Q: Does this dress make me look fat?
A: Get behind me, Satan!
Q: Would you still love me if I were a colossal desert sandworm?
A: What Shai-hulud has decreed must be. Bless the Maker and His water. Bless the coming and going of Him. MAY HIS PASSAGE CLEANSE THE WORLD
Q: Which celebrity do you have a crush on?
A: Henry Cavill, obviously.
Q: What do you want for dinner?
A: Whatever you're thinking of right now, sweetheart.
Q: What should we watch tonight?
A: No matter what you put on the TV, I'll just be watching you.
Q: If I died, would you remarry?
A: No, because I would die too.
Q: What's the best way to repair the carburetor on a 1988 Ford Ranger that's stalling out at idle?
A: That's a trick question. The 1988 Ford Ranger uses a fuel-injected engine, not a carburetor. The issue is probably a dirty throttle body or a small vacuum leak.
Q: Do you notice anything different about the way I look today?
A: Only that you grow even more beautiful with every rising and setting of the sun.
Q: Do you like my family?
A: I don't know half of them half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of them half as well as they deserve.
Q: Do you remember what today is?
A: Throw a flashbang and RUN!
You'll have a better marriage in time if you use our handy answers here. Good luck, men!
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No. 2 reminds me of me; I have to constantly watch out for the Gun of the Month Club, lest it drive me out of my house. I solved the Book of the Month Club problem by getting a Kindle. Sadly, guns can only be bought in hard copy.
The world’s lowest man is one who cuts a really vile fart and then kicks a dog.
Rosco and I always had a deal.
He’d take blame for things that weren’t his fault and in return, he’d get things off the grill when nobody was looking.
Answer 2 is wrong. The correct answer is:
“Isn’t Sydney a man’s name? I don’t rate the attractiveness of men. Who is he, anyway?”
The two things here:
1: Forget about leaving the seat up, why aren’t people putting the lid down to to prevent things from accidentally falling in, etc.
2: Why would *ANY* sane person set their naked butt down on *ANYTHING* before taking a look at it?
“”Excellent list! I knew our FReeper Ladies would respond with wit and intelligence!””
***
Lol... well, I was married long enough to know how married men think... in self defense...lololol. It’s the hormones, dontcha know!
My wife and I stopped exchanging cards and gifts LONG ago. First off all, too many kids birthday’s and huge Christmas to worry about, and second she couldn’t remember a date to save her life. I remember EVERYTHING, and at the same time am COMPLETELY unoffended she can’t, so it was just easier to go this way.
If I think she needs or wants something, I just get it for her. And vice versa.
What is this? My Cousin Vinny?
Q: If I died and you remarried, would you let her use my golf clubs?
A: No, because she is left handed.
A #1) its a collectors item and will increase the valu of our estate for the children after we’re gone.
A #2) to stop people that are trying to breakin to steal your jewelry.
A #3) to be able to spend more time together.
I... Would never ask these questions.
Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to, for starters.
Unfortunately, much of my sex, particularly my age and younger (< or = 40) do bait their men like this. I personally don’t understand the need for drama.
Also why I don’t have many lady friends.
Feel free to split hairs. You were wrong.
My crush was (is?) Olivia De Havilland. Watched her in some old movie - my wife knew who she was. I just had to look it up because I forgot her name. My wife always has to remind me! When I first saw her in an old film my wife said that she was still alive. I was shocked. And a little excited that “You mean I could actually maybe see her in real life!?” (Sadly she lived in Paris!)
-PJ
“Yeah, but a lab can’t make you a sammich!”
But he can be taught to get a beer out of refrigerator for you.
I’ve seen videos. lol
“”When I first saw her in an old film my wife said that she was still alive. I was shocked. And a little excited that “You mean I could actually maybe see her in real life!?” (Sadly she lived in Paris!)””
***
Hahaha..you’re lucky your wife didn’t starch your shorts over that one. Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George gets the hots for Marisa Tomei. It’s always best to get a crush on someone that has already died... safer that way, cause no matter where they live on the planet, your wife will probably be still brooding over it...lol.
She: No, he won’t play your guitar. He’s left handed..
_____________________________________________________________
He could always turn it upside down and play it that way. I heard of someone who used to do that years ago, but I can’t remember the fellers name.
Peg-“ Hi Honey, did you miss me?”
Al-“With every shot so far.”
“A little off your topic having been married 34 years I can offer a little humble advice:”
3. Whatever she says, no matter how boring to you, is the most important thing in your life. Give it rapt attention. Let your eyes glaze over inwardly.
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