Michigan shoplifter rushed to hospital after hiding bottle of wine in her ‘body cavity’

NY Post ^ | 5/13/26 | Chris Nesi

[Libloather]

Bordeaux-no!

A Michigan woman was arrested and then rushed to the hospital after she stole a bottle of wine and hid it inside a “body cavity,” cops said.

The 48-year-old was allegedly caught by shopkeepers drinking a bottle of alcohol in a Traverse City liquor store without paying for it, and returned the next day to nab a bottle of Chardonnay.

Employees attempted to stop her, but were unable to find the pilfered tipple.

That is, until police arrested her and found it stashed inside an unnamed bodily orifice at the jail, at which point she was brought to Munson Medical Center for treatment.

The woman, who was not named, been charged with two counts of retail fraud, one count of smuggling and trespassing.

[freefdny]

“ … I’ve always had a bottle I could turn to
And lately I’ve been turnin’ every day
But the wine don’t take effect the way it used to
And I’m hurtin’ in an old familiar way
… Tonight the bottle let me down
And let your memory come around
The one true friend I thought I’d found”
Merle Hagard

[ConservativeMind]

She didn’t realize it makes an incredible vacuum.

[ansel12]

Finally, a woman that I wouldn’t strike fear in.

[equaviator]

[Palio di Siena]

Trannys upset cause they can’t do that

[vikingd00d]

>>Magnum!!!

Jeroboam or Melchizedek. Go big or go home.

[central_va]

In Thailand you pay money to see this trick.

[OldHarbor]

Bottle of wine
Fruit of the vine
When you going to let me get sober ?
Leave me alone, let me go home
Let me go home and start over.

[dfwgator]

Beats the Winona Ryder ping-pong ball trick....

[central_va]

Hey Joe, you wanna see what I can do with beer bottle? 5 bucks.

[Retain Mike]

OK. You posted this just so you could look at the comments. Right?

[ro_dreaming]

I’m glad there wasn’t a photo with the article.

[samiam5]

She was on her way to Bill and Monica’s wine and cigar party.

[SMARTY]

She needed a stiff one

[Sirius Lee]

She gets a kick for of it.

[rlmorel]

[rlmorel]

They can, except some things are a bit different. Like the smell.

[Thank You Rush]

Beautiful sunset picture - would make a great jigsaw puzzle..

[Repeat Offender]

The tasting notes did say Chardonnay pairs well with crabs.

[Macoozie]

an Airplane Bottle is one thing.

Now a Magnum of Champagne . . .
That my friends, is a horse of a different color.