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Michigan shoplifter rushed to hospital after hiding bottle of wine in her ‘body cavity’
NY Post ^ | 5/13/26 | Chris Nesi

Posted on 05/14/2026 12:55:56 PM PDT by Libloather

Bordeaux-no!

A Michigan woman was arrested and then rushed to the hospital after she stole a bottle of wine and hid it inside a “body cavity,” cops said.

The 48-year-old was allegedly caught by shopkeepers drinking a bottle of alcohol in a Traverse City liquor store without paying for it, and returned the next day to nab a bottle of Chardonnay.

Employees attempted to stop her, but were unable to find the pilfered tipple.

That is, until police arrested her and found it stashed inside an unnamed bodily orifice at the jail, at which point she was brought to Munson Medical Center for treatment.

The woman, who was not named, been charged with two counts of retail fraud, one count of smuggling and trespassing.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Hobbies; Outdoors; Science
KEYWORDS: body; bottle; grandcanyon; hallway; hotdog; michigan; wine; xxxxxl
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To: Libloather

“ … I’ve always had a bottle I could turn to
And lately I’ve been turnin’ every day
But the wine don’t take effect the way it used to
And I’m hurtin’ in an old familiar way
… Tonight the bottle let me down
And let your memory come around
The one true friend I thought I’d found”
Merle Hagard


21 posted on 05/14/2026 1:17:41 PM PDT by freefdny
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To: Libloather

She didn’t realize it makes an incredible vacuum.


22 posted on 05/14/2026 1:22:43 PM PDT by ConservativeMind (Trump: Befuddling Democrats, Republicans, and the Media for the benefit of the US and all mankind.)
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To: Libloather

Finally, a woman that I wouldn’t strike fear in.


23 posted on 05/14/2026 1:23:17 PM PDT by ansel12 (This could be a ship with insignificant weapons)
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To: Libloather

24 posted on 05/14/2026 1:26:48 PM PDT by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: Libloather

Trannys upset cause they can’t do that


25 posted on 05/14/2026 1:27:00 PM PDT by Palio di Siena (Kralik…..you get the wallet)
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To: ImJustAnotherOkie

>>Magnum!!!

Jeroboam or Melchizedek. Go big or go home.


26 posted on 05/14/2026 1:28:08 PM PDT by vikingd00d (chown -R us ~you/base)
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To: Libloather

In Thailand you pay money to see this trick.


27 posted on 05/14/2026 1:28:45 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn)
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To: Libloather

Bottle of wine
Fruit of the vine
When you going to let me get sober ?
Leave me alone, let me go home
Let me go home and start over.


28 posted on 05/14/2026 1:29:22 PM PDT by OldHarbor
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To: central_va
Beats the Winona Ryder ping-pong ball trick....


29 posted on 05/14/2026 1:30:45 PM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: dfwgator

Hey Joe, you wanna see what I can do with beer bottle? 5 bucks.


30 posted on 05/14/2026 1:33:00 PM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn)
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To: Libloather

OK. You posted this just so you could look at the comments. Right?


31 posted on 05/14/2026 1:34:35 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: DIRTYSECRET

I’m glad there wasn’t a photo with the article.


32 posted on 05/14/2026 1:36:30 PM PDT by ro_dreaming (Who knew "Idiocracy", "1984", "Enemy of the State", and "Person of Interest" would be non-fiction?)
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To: Libloather

She was on her way to Bill and Monica’s wine and cigar party.


33 posted on 05/14/2026 1:44:06 PM PDT by samiam5
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To: null and void; All

She needed a stiff one


34 posted on 05/14/2026 1:44:22 PM PDT by SMARTY (In politics, stupidity is not a handicap. Napoleon Bonaparte I)
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To: SMARTY

She gets a kick for of it.


35 posted on 05/14/2026 1:49:49 PM PDT by Sirius Lee ("Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.)
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To: KarlInOhio

36 posted on 05/14/2026 1:53:19 PM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est)
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To: Palio di Siena

They can, except some things are a bit different. Like the smell.


37 posted on 05/14/2026 1:54:57 PM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est)
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To: Lazamataz

Beautiful sunset picture - would make a great jigsaw puzzle..


38 posted on 05/14/2026 2:03:33 PM PDT by Thank You Rush
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To: Libloather

The tasting notes did say Chardonnay pairs well with crabs.


39 posted on 05/14/2026 2:09:01 PM PDT by Repeat Offender
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To: Libloather

an Airplane Bottle is one thing.

Now a Magnum of Champagne . . .
That my friends, is a horse of a different color.


40 posted on 05/14/2026 2:13:05 PM PDT by Macoozie (Roll MAGA, roll!)
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