Posted on 05/07/2026 11:58:05 AM PDT by dayglored
MONTEREY PARK, CA — A heated debate between the candidates for governor of California descended into mayhem last night after Katie Porter dumped an entire pot of scalding mashed potatoes on the moderators' heads.
Witnesses said the incident occurred roughly forty-three minutes into the debate when moderators attempted to ask Porter about repeated allegations of her abusing staff and family members.
"You want to play that game with me?? Have a taste!" shouted Porter, producing an industrial-sized stock pot filled with boiling hot potatoes. "I'm going to melt those lips together so that you can never open your mouth to question me again. How dare you ask about my temperament! Stop screaming and come back here, Kaitlan."
Both moderators suffered severe burns in the attack as the entire debate was plunged into pandemonium. "It was a free-for-all up there," said audience member Dennis Hatton. "Within seconds, the candidates were all flinging scorching potato bits at each other. The moderators were in bad shape. I had no idea just how dangerous potatoes could be."
At publishing time, Porter's campaign had defended her outburst as a "simple assertion of the right for women to not face unfair questions about their behavior."
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Some people will take this incident as an excuse to outlaw hot potatoes.
I would caution them about that. For when hot potatoes are outlawed, only outlaws will have hot potatoes.
Better to just outlaw Katie Porter.
😀
(And yeah, it’s the Bee. Don’t get stung. 🐝)
SUE Time!
Feminism = cannot question any woman about her actions nor beliefs. You must comply with her. Kind of like Islam without the burka and goats.
Must have been Jew agents. /s
Ah yes, the Babylon Bee. At first, it seemed totally in character, but beyond normal politics......then I saw the source.
Again the Bee does political satire so well that it is always almost believable.
If I were a writer of skill and wit, my dream would be to work for The Babylon Bee.
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