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Dozens Of Injuries Reported At ‘No Kings’ Rally After Multi-Scooter Pileup
Babylon Bee ^ | 3-28-26 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/29/2026 5:45:41 AM PDT by dynachrome

Dozens of significant injuries have been reported at the "No Kings" rally today after a multi-scooter pileup as the protest crossed Tremont Street.

Nearby trauma centers were reportedly inundated with patients who had suffered broken hips and femurs due to the collision. Area hospitals were also dealing with a mass wave of rallygoers suffering various levels of bowel and urinary incontinence.

"It's old-person Armageddon out here," said emergency physician Lee Bockelman. "There are shattered hips and leaking bladders everywhere. I've never seen anything like that. They don't train you for this kind of mass casualty event."

Healthcare officials accused rally organizers of negligence, stating that no one had considered the risks of having so many elderly people attempt to march through the streets. "I've never seen this many geriatrics concentrated in such a small area. What were they thinking?" said nurse Julia Mendoza. "There is pee, poo, and busted hips as far as the eye can see. We're getting overwhelmed."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; nokings; scooters
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Pic of the tragedy at the site.

;)

1 posted on 03/29/2026 5:45:41 AM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

I got stung!!


2 posted on 03/29/2026 5:47:50 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Sacajaweau

Didn’t look, they got me.


3 posted on 03/29/2026 6:10:04 AM PDT by Colt1851Navy (@!@)
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To: dynachrome

I know this is a Bee article but it’s only funny because large, large numbers of old people (of which I am one) attended these rallies. I just don’t get it. I know a lot of them are paid, but I saw some psychotically passionate old people. They couldn’t even explain exactly what it was they were protesting. It boggles my mind.


4 posted on 03/29/2026 6:17:57 AM PDT by suthener ( I do not like living under our homosexual, ghetto, feminist government.)
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To: dynachrome

Nerd crash.


5 posted on 03/29/2026 6:20:24 AM PDT by CodeToad
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To: dynachrome

Wut! Now taxpayers are on the hook for these idiots hospital bills. (sarc)


6 posted on 03/29/2026 6:26:09 AM PDT by dennisw (Qatarlson the Insufferable blowhard = There is no limit to human stupidity.)
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To: dynachrome

Lol


7 posted on 03/29/2026 6:27:49 AM PDT by nuconvert ( Warning: Accused of being a radical militarist. Approach with caution.)
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To: dynachrome

🎶Pee poo, people who got pee poo are the stinkiest people in the world🎵


8 posted on 03/29/2026 6:29:06 AM PDT by null and void (Limited information leads to unlimited speculation.)
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To: suthener

I have always hated Leftists, the kind found in Code Pink, MoveOn.org, ANSWER, etc.

But these “No Kings” morons are the most pathetic and stupid of all of those variants of Leftist.

Many of them in my blue state belong to, or are organized by “Indivisible”. I have had close interactions with these ignorant sheep.


9 posted on 03/29/2026 6:56:13 AM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est)
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To: rlmorel

I remember when The 0ne ran for president the first time i saw a bus full of seniors getting let off to vote and they were all chanting “Yes we can!” I learned that day that age does not equal wisdom.


10 posted on 03/29/2026 7:17:34 AM PDT by Boardwalk
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To: dynachrome

The Protesters are all Older Than Dirt ?


11 posted on 03/29/2026 7:25:38 AM PDT by butlerweave (Fateh)
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To: rlmorel
But these “No Kings” morons are the most pathetic and stupid of all of those variants of Leftist.

I passed by one of the demonstrations near the mall in Chandler, AZ yesterday. Besides the "No Kings" banners were other sundry signs. Two that caught my eye were "Fund the Dept. of Education" and "Trans Rights". What the hell does that have to do with "No Kings"?
12 posted on 03/29/2026 7:40:33 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: Boardwalk

O used children’s show songs and chants to appeal to the democrat voters. The Yes We Can is straight from Bob the Builder.

I had young children at the time and recognized many O campaign slogans taken straight from children’s shows.


13 posted on 03/29/2026 7:40:49 AM PDT by Justa (Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people....)
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To: Dr. Sivana

https://x.com/WallStreetApes/status/2037877371718517176

An amusing response to the “No Kings” protesters.


14 posted on 03/29/2026 7:44:12 AM PDT by sjmjax
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To: suthener
I just don’t get it. I know a lot of them are paid, but I saw some psychotically passionate old people. They couldn’t even explain exactly what it was they were protesting.

It's the last great gasp for the old commie Vietnam/No Nukes/Global Warming/No Blood for Oil/Code Pink/Justice for [insert criminal-of-the-day here] misanthropes.
15 posted on 03/29/2026 7:44:26 AM PDT by larrytown
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