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Posted on 01/11/2026 7:16:49 PM PST by MinorityRepublican
U.S. — According to sources, an exhausted nation was wishing Minnesota would just be normal for, like, five minutes.
Insiders revealed that every sane person in America had grown tired of Minnesota being unable to go more than a few seconds without some type of bizarre scandal or horrific incident.
"Please," said one American citizen. "We're tired. Please just be normal, Minnesota. Please, we beg you."
Experts were reportedly stumped as to what Minnesota's major problem is or how it got so bad. "Yeah, it beats me," said Dr. Harold Beeker, an expert on states. "Minnesota is kinda insane right now. It needs to calm down before the rest of the country loses its patience. This isn't healthy for anyone."
When reached for comment, several Minnesotans responded to reporters, saying "RRREEEEEEEEEEE!" Others Minnesotans disagreed, instead stating: "Minnesota way fiicantahay. Ma jiraan wax khalad ah halkan. Fadlan tag Jooji duubista."
The reporters were then forced to flee as the Minnesotans they were interviewing tried to run them over with their cars.
Outgoing Minnesota Governor Tim Walz weighed in by waving his arms flamboyantly and stating that he was pleading the fifth and that Minnesota's streak of being awful was the result of extreme right-wing conspirators.
At publishing time, the nation did say it at least appreciated Minnesota providing a little distraction from the insanity of California.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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And Omar could be heard screeching in the background.... git yo white supremist azzes outta here.
Alternate plan:
Trade MN to Canada for SK & AB plus two future round draft choices
No kidding, the only state in America to have ever evolved into being truly ridiculous and surreal.
It’s not Minnesota. It’s the AWFLS.
On a serious note:
Minnesota is an example of what happens when you have uncontrolled immigration.
Let’s be honest, you wouldn’t have women that married their brother wearing headscarves championing Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood were it not for our out of control immigration.
This entire scandalous fraud story would likely not have happened. Not that corruption isn’t elsewhere and in other cultures. But to be brutally direct, some cultures are EXTREMELY accepting of corruption (see it as normal and acceptable) and in fact a large percentage of people will engage in it, if it benefits them.
If Trump could send some of them “back home,” as he mentioned he will try doing, that would be great: https://vlipsy.com/clips/da9OsZlg
I had to move to Wisconsin.
‘ Minnesota is an example of what happens when you have uncontrolled immigration.’
Texas, California and Florida have the most illegal immigrants.
Too much cheese clogs the arteries and too much cold makes the thorax hog all the blood.
Brain doesn’t stand a chance! :D
In the past few days, several people have pointed out that in 1984, only one single State of the United States of America did not vote for Ronaldus Magnus.
Yes, that State would be Minnesota. Also known as Minne-so-cold.
Today, I believe it also has earned Minne-so-F’d-Up
Even Reagan couldn't win Minnesota in 1984.
LoL beat me to it, I just posted that map.
LOL!
Has been for some 75 years now.
It’s Minnesomalia now.
Probably the reason he settled them there.
It’s been said that he didn’t try. Reagan was 4,000 votes behind. A recount might have given a different result, but Reagan had already won and he didn’t want to give Mondale anymore humiliation.
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